Finding Our New Normal
by gladiatorinasundress
Summary: What happens when Olivia throws the ring back at Fitz, what kind of emotions will that spark? This time, Fitz fights for them; he doesn't just walk away and have someone else keep an eye on her.
1. Chapter 1

_This is my very first fan fiction! I love Scandal, but haven't been thrilled with the direction of the show since Olivia's kidnapping ordeal was over, this is how I was hoping it would go. Of course these characters don't belong to me. Thanks for reading! _

It only weighed a few ounces, but as the ring hit his chest and fell to the floor, it felt like he had been hit with the force of a ton of bricks. He knew she had been through a horrific experience, and he knew she would need to process her kidnapping in her own way. But, he hadn't expected this. It took him a minute to swallow the lump in his throat and compose himself. He couldn't be the one to break down, not in front of her. He needed to be there for her. He needed to be strong.

Fitz sighed, bent down and picked the ring off the dark wood floor, gripping it tightly in his sweaty palm. Looking into her eyes, trying to reach his Liv, his sweet baby, Fitz was searching of a sign of what to do next. His mouth was dry, and he had to clear his throat before speaking.

But before he could say anything, Olivia was opening her door, motioning for him to leave. Though he was trying his best to be a calming influence for Olivia, inside Fitz was panicking. He didn't know what to do; should he leave as she was asking? Or should he stay, because every fiber of his being was telling him that was what they both needed.

As much of an ordeal Olivia had been through, Fitz had been through his own traumatic experience, and the thought of leaving Olivia in her apartment alone, terrified him. She had garnered interest from terror organizations around the world. She had escaped one, but that didn't mean the others would give up. He couldn't just leave here alone, in her apartment where she had already been taken from once. But she clearly wanted her space, and in that moment, Fitz wanted to give Olivia what she wanted.

He slowly made his way to the door, and tried to process the last few minutes. She was angry with him for not being the president she wanted him to be, for being weak and not making a sacrifice for the good of the country, even if that came at the cost of her life. Fitz understood that. Olivia had always had a hard time separating Fitz the president and Fitz, the man who loved her more than anything.

Fitz the president was a pillar, a monument, a statue to be looked up to, a President who would fiercely lead the country, doing what was right for the nation, no matter the cost. Fitz the man just wanted to be with the woman he loved. He wanted to go to bed and night without his arms feeling empty. He wanted to run away from his responsibilities and live quietly in Vermont. His first priority as Fitz, just Fitz, was happiness, for those he cared about and for himself, not accomplishments and sacrifices for the greater good. When Olivia had been taken she expected him to be a president, and instead all he could be was just a man in love.

He shuffled out of Olivia's apartment and into the hall. As the door closed behind him, Fitz fell to the floor, his back against the door, he's knees bent. There were at least five agents surrounding him, but in that moment he felt more alone than ever. He opened his hand and stared down at the piece of gold, the symbol of their love. As far as Fitz knew, this was the first time it had left her index finger since the day he had given it to her.

She was wearing it the day Cyrus brought her to Camp David to handle the Amanda Tanner situation, even though it had been two years since he had seen her. She was wearing it the day in the woods they argued over Artie Hornbacker and the security of the country. She was wearing it that day in the church when Ella was Christened. She was wearing it in the bunker when he, Olivia, and Mellie came up with a plan to cover her being outed as his mistress. She was always wearing it, no matter how difficult things got. Until today.

His mind raced back to the day he picked out the ring. They had been at a campaign stop in Florida, trying desperately to win the critical swing state. The outdoor event was held at a park in Tampa, and just before Fitz was to speak, the skies opened up for a typical Florida afternoon shower. But the people had come to hear him speak, and Fitz wasn't going to let them down. So, he gave his speech anyway, rallying his supporters all while getting drenched in the pouring down rain. Cyrus had stayed behind at the hotel, choosing to forgo the rough weather and instead make last minute arrangements for their next stop in Orlando. But, Olivia was never far from a campaign speech, always watching in the shadows, rain or shine. She stood behind him, smiling, clapping and supporting her candidate.

When they got back to the limo, Olivia began to use some towels that had been left for them to dry off. Olivia felt like a drowned rat, but to Fitz she looked radiant. He couldn't stop starring at her. They didn't often have the opportunity to be alone together in the limo, they sat in silence holding hands until Olivia let go and began rummaging through her bag for her notes. Fitz sighed, knowing Olivia was switching back to campaign mode. Fitz was disappointed, he had so hoped he could just relax in a rare moment with the woman he adored. Trying not to let it get to him, he tried to focus on her notes and the campaign.

When they arrived back at the hotel, they had a few hours free before the gala, where they would be dressing in very uncomfortable fancy clothes, eating overpriced food and begging millionaires to support Grant for president. He would have no choice but to spend the evening being Fitz the candidate.

But that was a few hours from now, and Fitz wanted to just be Fitz until then. As the two entered the elevator Fitz whispered to Olivia, "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, spend the afternoon with me. We can do anything you want. I just want to be with you." Looking into Olivia's brown eyes, he tried to read them for an answer. He quickly added "please", and begged her with his best puppy dog eyes. Olivia relented.

Fitz went back to his room and changed into jeans and a yellow polo shirt. He wanted to be conformable before he had to put on his stuffy suit and tie and uncomfortable shoes. He wandered back down the hall, his socks making no noise against the grey carpet of the Hilton's hallway. Fitz took one last look to make sure the hall was empty, and knocked. The hall had been completely silent, making his knocking seem twenty times louder. Olivia answered the door in her grey sweat pants and black spaghetti strapped tank top. He loved seeing her in casual clothes. There was something so comforting about it. It was normal. Something couples might wear at home on a lazy Sunday while watching movies.

The two ordered room service, though Fitz hid in the bathroom when they came to drop off the food, as to not be seen. They talked and laughed about the days events, while sitting Indian style on the king sized bed together, eating french fries and chocolate cake, per Olivia's request. When they decided it was time to get ready for the gala, Fitz asked for just one more minute, and Olivia obliged. She never denied him a one minute moment.

Fitz sat up with his back against the plush headboard and Olivia scooted into him, their fingers intertwined. Fitz placed a kiss on Olivia's temple and closed his eyes. If only this were his life. If only he could stay right here forever. He felt Olivia's finger brushing over his wedding ring in a back and forth motion. He felt a twinge, he should have taken it off. He tried to remember to remove it when he was around her. She didn't need that reminder. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Olivia didn't look up. Quietly she replied "it's ok Fitz. Even when you take it off, it's not like I forget that you're married. It's just hard to know that isn't my ring- OUR ring, that you're wearing".

Fitz's heart dropped to his stomach. Olivia had never said anything like that before. He was always up front with her about his feelings. Ever since the night on the bus when he uttered the words "what kind of coward was I, to marry her, and not wait for you to show up", he had been blunt about his intent to marry her someday, but she was always reluctant. She talked about how they would stop when he was elected, how this couldn't last forever, how he could never actually be hers.

Tears stung his eyes, and all he could muster was a 'Someday'. After their minute was up, Olivia walked Fitz to her door, And he kissed the top of her head before wandering back down the hallway to prepare for the gala.

That night as he want to bed, all he could think about was Olivia's words: 'our ring', and how much he wanted Olivia to have something special from him. he made a decision that night. Not only did he want her to have something, but she needed to have something.

The next morning, with a little help from Cyrus, he was able to sneak off to Tiffany's before they opened to pick something out, and he knew the simple gold ring was perfect the second he saw it. Fitz was aware everyone would assume it was a gift for Mellie, but he didn't care. He knew the truth, and he needed a place holder until he could get Olivia a diamond ring, something he could run his finger over when he was holding her hand to know that they would always have a deep connection, a symbol of their love the whole world could see, even if they had to hide their relationship. He knew he was in love with her and when she was ready to admit she was in love with him, he would be ready with this ring, THEIR ring, to give her.

And now he sat outside her door, six years later with the ring in his hand. He would never have imagined in six years he wouldn't have the chance to replace the gold ring with a diamond engagement ring. He brought his head into his lap and began to sob. He had no idea how they had gotten here.


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia sat on the other side of the door, inside her apartment in the same position as Fitz. She had tucked her legs close to her chest, with her head on her knees. She was crying quietly, wishing she hadn't sent Fitz away. She was just so angry with his actions. He had gone to war, and sent troops into harms way. She had hoped he would be strong, and refuse to give into the demands of her captors, but in her gut, she knew he would do anything to make sure she came home. Olivia wanted him to be the president, to sacrifice her if it meant keeping the country safe. But deep down she knew her Fitz would move heaven and earth to ensure her safety.

And now she was home, in the literal sense. She had always loved her place, but now, somehow it felt cold and empty. It was her house, but it didn't feel like a home anymore. Her mind drifted to the fireplace in the house in Vermont. That felt like home. It was warm, and inviting. But there was something more to it. It was a home for her and Fitz, it was the dream.

When Olivia was being held captive, she would close her eyes and picture herself in Vermont, making jam, while Fitz played on the floor with their children. She would try to picture herself on the beach in Zanzibar, knowing Jake was the easier, safer choice. But her mind always drifted to back to evergreens and snow of the house in Vermont. It was the first time Olivia had so vividly pictured her future, and she knew she had her answer. She wanted Vermont with Fitz, not the sun with Jake. It had never been more clear to her.

Being abducted and thinking she could die at any moment, was terrifying. But facing her immortality like that also came with a certain kind of clarity. It was Fitz, it was always Fitz. However, this realization was coming with it's own set of fears. Being with Fitz presented itself with so many other challenges, and seemed so impossible, so scary.

As time went on, Olivia knew her chances of surviving this ordeal were decreasing, and so she allowed herself to day dream of Fitz, Vermont, and their children more and more. If she would never actually get to live the dream, at least she could replay what it would be like over and over in her head. When she wasn't thinking of ways to escape, she was thinking of her life with Fitz. It consumed her. It kept her going. It kept her alive. Fitz kept her alive. Even if it meant going to war, even if it meant he wasn't the one to physically rescue her. It was him. It was their love. She was still here, in great part, because of that, because of him.

So when Fitz showed up at her apartment, she had wanted nothing more than to collapse into his arms and tell him she was ready to deal with whatever storm would come, as long as they could really truly be together. She wanted to tell him how he was the love of her life. She wanted to tell him that she had never, and would never love another man so deeply and so completely. She wanted to tell him she'd never known real love until him. She wanted be open and honest and vulnerable.

But when Fitz showed up at her apartment with his agents, reality hit her, and it had a very sobering effect. He wasn't just Fitz, the man who built her a dream house, he was also, and more importantly, Fitzgerald Thomas Grant the third, the President of the United States of America. And he should have acted like a president. He shouldn't have put the safety of the country in jeopardy for her. His first priority should have been to keep those troops at home, not to find her, whatever the cost. He was supposed to be a pillar, a monument, and he wasn't.

On the other hand, the more she thought about it, the more she was realizing the impossible situation he was in. Fitz loved her, she didn't doubt that. And as many times as she would deny it, she loved Fitz. If the situation was reversed, she couldn't have just let him die. Hell, she couldn't let him lose an election because she didn't want losing to break him. He might have had a lot to deal with, but she knew it wasn't physically going to kill him to lose. In that moment, Olivia realized how hypocritical she was being. She wanted Fitz to be presidential because it somehow had justified what she had done in Defiance. Of course he was a great president, and would do amazing things for the country, but she was holding him to this higher standard because of what she had done, not because of who he was.

Olivia's tears slowed, and she lifted her head up, looking at her hands. Her index finger looked so naked without her ring. She had never taken her ring off in anger before. It was unnatural to see her hand without it. It just felt wrong, and empty. She was getting worked up again, and as steady tears streamed down her face, she couldn't help but think about the day Fitz had given the ring to her.

It seemed like so long ago, and just yesterday all at the same time. She still remembered it so vividly.

Olivia swallowed her fear. "I'm in love with you too", she remembered saying as she stood over the Constitution with a newly elected Fitz. It was terrifying to admit, but she had been feeling that way for months. Her family life had been so screwed up, Olivia found it easier to shut people out than to let them in. But something about Fitz, a connection they had, and Fitz's perseverance made it impossible to shut him out.

She could see the shock and relief on his face when she finally admitted to it, and her stomach dropped ad if she had just gone down the biggest hill of the tallest roller coaster. Metaphorically, Olivia had done just that. She almost couldn't believe she had said it herself. But she knew it was the right thing to do. She felt it, and Fitz deserved to hear it.

They were in this together now, and there was no going back. She was standing with the man she loved in front of the Constitution, professing her love while he looked back at her with all the admiration in the world. It was the stuff fairy tales and dreams are made of. But, in fairy tales the prince is never married, and nobody ever has to sneak around. Besides all of that, their private moment wasn't all that private. It was being witnessed by a half dozen agents. The agents didn't make eye contact, and Fitz pretended they weren't there, but she was always aware. "Can we go somewhere, Fitz? Just us?" Olivia asked.

Fitz understood how hard him getting elected had been on her. It wasn't as if they could sneak off to each other hotel rooms anymore. They couldn't hold hands in the back of limos. They would even have to be careful how much they were seen in public now. It wasn't the campaign anymore. He wasn't a candidate, he was the president, and with that he lost certain freedoms. He was in the bubble, and under a microscope now. That was fine for him, he had voluntarily made the trade off, but she didn't. None of this was fair to her.

Olivia was nervous he hadn't answered yet, and quietly followed up with "Fitz?" He looked around at his agents "Of course Liv, Let me figure something out". They could go back to the White House, but after their argument in the Rose Garden about Mellie, he didn't think that was the best idea. It was late, and he had lots on his schedule in the morning, so Camp David was out. Olivia still hadn't found an apartment after moving from New York and had been living in a hotel since the inauguration. He figured going there would set off alarms in the press.

He excused himself from Liv, and went to the one agent he could trust. "Tom, do you think we can use the Blair House tonight? Would anyone know we were there?" Tom nodded, "We'll take care of it, sir."

As Tom went off to make arrangements, Fitz wandered back over to Olivia who was still staring at the Constitution. "Liv, come on lets go," he said as he smiled and held his hand out for hers. She smiled back and put her hand in his. Fitz placed a kiss on her temple, and they fell into a comfortable silence as the made their way back to the awaiting car. Secret Service escorted them from the National Archives and back to Blair House without ever being seen. It was weird to have so many agents know about the two of them, when their relationship was hidden from so many others. But Olivia would have to get used to it. If they were ever going to get alone time, this is how it was going to have to be.

When they arrived at Blair House, Fitz poured two glasses of red wine, while Olivia kicked off her high heels and sat on the soft beige couch in front of the fireplace. The Blair House was much more modern and inviting than she had expected it to be. She pulled a navy blue cashmere blanket off the back of the couch and covered up with it. "Liv, I know this is hard for you, but you have to talk to me. You can't shut me out", Fitz told her gently as he sat down next to her, handing her the glass of wine. Fitz was worried about their argument in the Rose Garden. He didn't know how much everything was upsetting her until she let herself explode at him.

"I know, Fitz, I will try," Olivia promised. They both took a few sips of wine before Fitz took their wine glasses and set them on the coffee table. The room was completely quiet except for the sound of the crackling fire. He put his hand on her cheek and gently moved his thumb in small circles. "God, you're so beautiful," he observed out loud, his voice barely above a whisper. He leaned in and kissed her lips, softly and gently, moving his hand to cradle the back of her head, his other hand intertwined with hers. Then he felt it. Her finger rubbing back and forth against his wedding ring.

He had stopped taking it off at Olivia's suggestion. "If you forget to put it back on, Fitz, it will set off alarm bells in the media," she warned. But her absent minded habit of rubbing his ring had come to a stop months ago; it was surprising to Fitz she was doing it again. He knew this was the moment he had been waiting for. He abruptly ended their kiss, got up, and announced "I'll be back, Liv. Please, please stay right here."

It took him a good 15 minutes to make his way through the tunnels under Pennsylvania Avenue to his top desk drawer in the Oval Office and back. His pace quickened on the way back, he couldn't get to her fast enough. Olivia had finished her wine and was starting to worry, when Fitz appeared in the door way smiling, slightly flushed, with a little bit of sweat on his brow.

"What are you up to, Fitzgerald? I know that sly look," Olivia said seductively. Then she saw it. Fitz was holding a ring box in his left hand. Her face fell, and she panicked. What on earth does he think he's doing, she thought to herself. He was married, and however cold, distant or dead his marriage was to Mellie, that piece of paper that binded them still existed. More than that, the American people had certain expectations of the First Couple. And Fitz standing in the Blair house weeks after his inauguration with a ring box for another woman was not one of them.

He saw the look on her face, and his smile fell. He had to say something, and fast before her panic drove her to leave again. He sat down next to her on the couch and looked deep into her big brown eyes, trying to calm her and help regulate her breathing with his lead. She followed suit.

"Olivia, I know I can't propose to you. I wish with everything I have that I was in a position to do that, but I'm not. You are the love of my life, I know people say that, and it's cliche, but it's so true. I never should have settled. That's my fault, not yours. And I am so sorry you have to pay the price for my mistake. You deserve a reminder of how much I love you, a token of my affection, something you can wear for the whole world to see, even if they can't know where it came from." Fitz opened the box, and Olivia gasped. The ring was beautiful. It was simple and elegant. It was understated yet gorgeous. A single tear fell from her eye, and Fitz wiped it away.

"Fitz, it's perfect", Olivia whispered staring down at the ring. "But..."

"Liv, please," Fitz implored. "It's important to me that you have this. I can't always physically be with you, and I want you to know that I am always thinking about you. That someday, when I can, I am going to buy you a diamond ring, and I am going to marry you. And we'll make babies, and build our dream house..."

"In Vermont," Olivia interjected. He smiled and put his forehead to hers. She said it as a statement, not as a question. She had dreamed about this too. Olivia was on board with this.

"Anywhere you want, if you want Vermont, Vermont it is," Fitz replied.

Olivia nodded back, and wiped a few tears away, and then held out her hand. Fitz grabbed the ring from it's box and slipped it on her left index finger. "I love you, Olivia Pope. You are the love of my life. I can't breathe without you, I can't sleep without you. My every feeling is controlled by the look on your face. We're in this together," Fitz repeated his statements from the Rose Garden, but this time they weren't arguing and he wasn't shouting. This time Olivia was wrapped up in his arms, and he was whispering into her ear. This time he was telling her the way it should have been done the first time. His words were soft and gentle and gave her chills. This time she didn't just hear Fitz, she listened to him. More importantly, she believed him.

He would have all night to show her how much he loved her, and how much he wanted her. But, in the morning they would have to go their separate ways. That reality stung. They would always have to go their separate ways, but only until they didn't. They had to hold on to the fact that day would come. They didn't know when, but they knew that it would. Then they could have babies and live in Vermont.

Olivia was brought out of her thoughts by a knock on the door. It startled her but only for a split second until she heard his voice. "Liv, I know you want me to go. But, the last thing I want to do is leave you here alone. I need to know you're safe, and I think you need to know someone is here." Olivia listened, but didn't answer. She appreciated his efforts, but didn't know how to respond.

Fitz paused, hoping for some kind of answer even though he hadn't asked a question. Was he just talking to himself? Or could she hear him, he wondered. Either way he continued, "I don't want to be overbearing or frustrating. I just want you to know, that I'm going to stay out here in the hall tonight. I hope that way you can sleep better."

Olivia still didn't respond, but she slowly stood up, put her forehead to the door, and let out a sigh. After another minute, she opened her door just a crack to find Fitz still in her hall, standing right in front of her. She was relieved he hadn't left. In truth, trying to sleep in her empty apartment, when she didn't know who could be out to get her, paralyzed her with fear.

Fitz could tell she had been crying, and he wanted to comfort her, but he also didn't want to frighten her. He was at a loss for words, and so he said the only thing that came to him.

"Hi," he said in his deep baritone voice.

"Hi," This time Olivia responded.

She opened her door wider, and Fitz walked back in.

Hey guys, thanks for reading. I was going to keep writing, but I hear the Scandal writers are finally going to tell us the story of the ring, and they can obviously do it better than me, so I'm not sure if I should keep it going. We'll see. Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

As the door opened, Fitz slipped the ring into his pocket. In all honesty, he wasn't entirely sure what to do when he stepped back into Olivia's apartment, but he didn't think bringing up the ring and the argument they just had was a good idea. He really didn't expect her to let him in, and hadn't thought much past announcing he was going to stay in the hall. This situation was delicate, and as much as he wanted to sit her down and figure out where her head was at as far as their relationship was concerned, Fitz knew it wasn't the right time. It would be selfish of him to bring it up now. Right now his immediate job was to get her through her first night back home, nothing else.

"Liv, you have to be exhausted," Fitz began breaking their silence. As beautiful as Olivia looked to him, her eyes were obviously bloodshot and the dark circles under them were just as undeniable. Olivia nodded, but didn't say anything. Fitz knew he needed to proceed very carefully if he didn't want to be sitting out in the hall with his agents all night.

"Let's get you comfortable, and tucked in." He flashed a small smile at Olivia, but it lacked it's usual boyish mischievous charm. Olivia began to shuffle back to her bedroom, with Fitz close behind her. The only sounds in the apartment came from their feet against the wood floor. Olivia was in a very clouded state, probably a combination of the trauma and the exhaustion. It wasn't as though she wasn't grateful Fitz was there in that moment, she just didn't have the energy to even vocalize a 'thank you'.

When they got to her room, Olivia sat on her bed, while Fitz walked over to her dresser. "Where are your comfy PJ's?' Fitz asked trying to keep his voice light and upbeat. Olivia finally began to come around "The top drawer," she answered letting out a huge yawn. She wasn't arguing, this is progress he thought.

Fitz rummaged through her drawer trying to find her something comfortable to wear to bed. As he pulled out a pair of cream colored silk pajamas, something caught his eye. In the drawer, with all of her pajamas, was a Grant for President t-shirt. The very one she wore on the trail. Fitz smiled. All this time, Olivia had kept it, that had to be a sign. Not wanting to draw attention to what he had just seen, Fitz quickly closed the drawer and disappeared into the bathroom.

Olivia heard the sound of the shower turning on, and then saw Fitz appear back in the her room. "Ok, hop in and get changed, Liv. Your pajamas are on the counter. I'll make you some hot tea to help you sleep." Before Olivia could say anything, Fitz was crossing the room, and heading out the door. She was amazed. He wasn't pushing, but he seemed to know all the right things to do in this very difficult situation. He was being there for her. He was being her rock. He was acting like they were in this together.

Then Olivia realized it, they were in this together. Fitz loved her, and that meant whatever happened to her, happened to him. And not just to Fitz the president, but to Fitz the man, the person. This is what it meant to have a partner. This is what it meant to have someone love you in the worst of times. Olivia shook her head trying to shake her thoughts away along with it. She was too exhausted to deal with this now, right now she just wanted to shower, change, and lay down.

Fitz made his way around the kitchen locating some earl grey tea. He added some honey to the tea, and grabbed a bottle of water for her from the fridge before he headed back to her room. He wasn't sure any of this was helping, but he had to do something. He placed the mug and the water on the night stand along with a couple of pills to help her sleep. and turned down her bed. Looking around the room for anything else to make her more comfortable, Fitz grabbed an extra blanket to put at her feet in case she was cold. As he heard the shower water turn off, he turned on her bedside lamp and turned off the overhead light.

Fitz suddenly began to feel out of place and awkward knowing she was going to be out of the bathroom any minute. He wasn't sure if he should stay or go. He decided she might want her space when she was falling asleep so he knocked gently on the bathroom door and let her know he was heading to the guest room for the night.

"Liv, I'm going to head over to the guest room now, but if you need anything, at all, please ask." He waited a minute to see if she had a response, he was just about to turn and leave when Olivia spoke up.

"Could you wait just a minute, Fitz?"

Olivia almost couldn't believe she was allowing herself to be so vulnerable and so vocal about what she wanted from Fitz. It might have been the security of being behind the bathroom door, or the inhibition from the exhaustion.

"Of course, Liv," Fitz replied trying to temper his excitement. She was finally telling him what she needed. It was a huge stride for them.

Olivia opened door and Fitz felt the steam from her hot shower on his face as it rolled out of the bathroom. Olivia noticed her night stand and thanked Fitz before taking her pills and a few sips of tea. She yawned and crawled into bed. When she was all settled, she looked at Fitz with her big brown eyes. Without a word being said Fitz knew exactly what she wanted.

The two had spent many nights together in Olivia's hotel rooms on the trail. But for the most part, Fitz couldn't stay through the whole night. He hated having to leave in the darkness of the early morning hours, especially when Liv looked up at him with that sadness in her eyes, the sadness that he knew was his fault for marrying Mellie, for not waiting for Liv. As consolation to himself as much as her, he would tuck Olivia into bed before he left. He would pull the covers tight around her, hug her gently and kiss her forehead before departing.

Now, Olivia was giving him that same look, and he didn't doubt for a second what she wanted. He pulled the white down comforter up over Olivia and tucked the sides around her. Then he leaned over, hugged her gently and kissed her forehead. Olivia closed her eyes and soaked it all in. It had been so long since he had done this, but it was still so comforting to her. Fitz went to turn off the bedside lamp when Olivia stopped him.

"No, leave it on please," she asked nearly ashamed. Her voice was cracking now, she was near tears. Barely above a whisper she added "and can you leave the door open too?" Fitz sensed her feelings in her voice, and tried to calm her.

In a soothing voice, he responded, "Of course, Liv, whatever you need. I will be in the guest room, if you need anything, I'm right down the hall. My agents are here, and you couldn't be in a safer place. Get some rest." Then there was an awkward pause. Fitz naturally felt as though he needed to tell Liv he loved her, but he didn't want to upset her either. Sharing his feelings might bring her stress, and that was the last thing he wanted.

Fitz turned and made his way down the hall to the guest room. He striped down to his boxers and crawled into bed. It had been a very long day and he was exhausted. He had a terrible time falling asleep though, as his mind kept racing. What if Olivia had been killed? What would his life look like without her in it? He shuddered at the thought. Eventually, Fitz's eyelids were too heavy to keep open, and he drifted off to sleep.

About two hours later, Fitz jolted up out of his sleep. Screams, he was hearing screams, Olivia's screams. He didn't think, he didn't process. He just threw off his covers and ran as fast as his feet would carry him to Olivia's room.

He found her sitting up in bed, in a cold sweat. She looked terrified. This time Fitz didn't question what he should do. He didn't worry about being too close to her, or too affectionate, or too overbearing. He didn't even pause in the doorway. He jumped into bed with her and scooped her into his arms. This had happened before, she had woken up screaming. Fitz knew this because Abby told him. Hearing about it was heartbreaking. But, experiencing it for himself shattered him.

He cradled her face and kissed her temple, rocking her gently back and forth.

"Liv, baby, it's ok, I have you. We're here, I'm here. You were having a bad dream," he told her trying to pull her out of it. For the first time since he had come to her door, he wasn't thinking about what to say before he said it.

Olivia grabbed onto his arms, and let herself melt into him. Her screams had turned to sobs. She was crying so hard now she could hardly breathe.

"Fitz, I was so scared. I was scared they were going to torture me. I was scared they were going to kill me. I was just so scared", Olivia confessed between her sobs. She wasn't thinking about what to say either, she was just rambling.

"I know, baby. You're here now, Liv. You made it, you were strong and brave, and amazing," Fitz didn't really know what to say. It tore him to shreds thinking about what she had to endure, he couldn't even wrap his head around it. What he was saying to her seemed to be working though. Her crying slowed, and her breathing was beginning to stabilize.

Fitz took one hand and began rubbing small circles on her back and she rested against his bare chest. He then leaned over to grab the water off her nightstand. "Drink," he said offering her the bottle from earlier. She drank a few sips, and Fitz put it back on her night stand.

He scooted back against the headboard, while Olivia readjusted, resting her head on his chest, placing her hand on his stomach and nestling into him. Fitz had one arm draped around her, and used the other to pull the covers up around them.

" I'm sorry" she whispered. Fitz didn't know what she meant. Was she sorry for waking him? For the fight earlier? He didn't feel like it was the right time to ask for clarification.

"Olivia, you have nothing to be sorry for," Fitz replied. Olivia just shrugged. Fitz knew she didn't believe him. He took his hand under her chin, gently pulling her to look at him. "You have NOTHING be sorry about, Olivia," he reiterated, looking directly into her eyes.

This time she seemed to believe him. She nodded and put her head back down onto Fitz's chest. Exhaustion was setting in again, and Olivia was lulled to sleep by the rise and fall of Fitz's chest, and the gentle sound of his breathing.

Fitz was feeling his eyelids droop, as the light sounds of Olivia snoring filled the air. He was so worried about what her reaction would be earlier, but that wasn't even on his mind now. "I love you, Olivia Pope," he whispered before kissing the top of her head and slipping into a deep sleep.

But his sleep wouldn't last long as just before dawn, Fitz woke to a soft knocking on the door. "Sir, we need to head back to the White House for your morning briefings," His agent gently reminded him. He knew this agent had drawn the short straw, none of them would have wanted to pull him away from Olivia.

Fitz looked over at Olivia sleeping soundly, he quietly rolled out of bed, and crossed the room. He opened the door a crack, thanked his agent, and told him he'd be ready to go in a few minutes. Ignoring the urge to wake her to say goodbye, Fitz softly kissed Olivia's cheek. He knew he needed to let her sleep. If she woke up panicked again, at least his agents would be there to let her know she was safe from harm.

Fitz tiptoed out of the bedroom before heading back down the hall to get his clothes from the guest room. As he was putting his pants on, the ring fell out of his pocket and to the floor. The same clinking noise he had heard the night before drew his attention to it. He bent down, picked it up, and smiled.

A few hours later, Olivia woke. Before she even opened her eyes, she reached out her arm only to find an empty spot on the bed. She knew Fitz couldn't stay forever. But she found herself silently wishing her arm would find Fitz instead of cold sheets. Olivia sighed and opened her eyes. As she was sitting up, something on her night stand caught her eye.

There, beside the bottle of water and a box of tissues was her ring, and a small note in Fitz's handwriting. It simply said "we're in this together". Olivia smiled and slipped the ring back on her index finger.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the kind reviews! I was a little overwhelmed, and I was worried about keeping the same quality of writing going forward as I had in the first two chapters. I hope I did it well! Right now, I'm planning to continue with this story, but I am a busy home schooling mom, so they might not come as fast as you'd like. Try and be patient with me! Again, thanks so much for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

Olivia and Fitz spent the next two weeks in the same routine. Fitz would show up at around 10 pm, tuck Olivia in, and wander down to the guest room. Olivia's nightmares were occurring with less frequency, but there were still nights she would wake up screaming, and Fitz would always be there to rock her back to sleep.

In the mornings, Fitz would make them both breakfast. Most of the time they would sit in silence, but it had become a very comfortable silence instead of an awkward one. He'd fix her coffee, and make her something simple like scrambled eggs or toast. She wasn't eating much, but at least she was eating something. It was a welcomed improvement.

But, Fitz always had to leave. Being President doesn't really afford you any personal days, and as much as he wanted to stay with Olivia all day, he knew he couldn't. Everyday before he left, he'd ask her if she needed anything. Though her reply was always the same, Fitz knew it was important to ask. Someday she might ask for something, and he wanted to make a possible request as easy as he could for her. He knew how much asking for help, even in the smallest form, was for Olivia. She was the fixer, she didn't want people fixing her.

The agents Fitz trusted the most were tasked with staying with Olivia during the day. Of course she was free to leave her apartment if she wanted to, the last thing Fitz wanted to do was make Olivia feel like a prisoner. But, so far she hadn't set foot outside her door. Their orders were simple. Make sure she is safe, make sure her apartment is secure, and let Fitz know the second anything out of the ordinary occurred. Some agents went out of their way to try and make sure she was at least being offered food during the day, even if she refused to eat.

Meanwhile, Olivia was inside her apartment reading books, playing ridiculous android games on her phone, and watching TV. She knew this wasn't her. She was bored, and stir crazy, but the idea of leaving the house was still terrifying to her, even if she knew the Secret Service would come along. She had started getting dressed during the day, even if it was in sweats and a tank top, she knew she was making progress.

Fitz was doing his best not to push her. He wanted her to talk to someone, and had mentioned it to her a few times, but she seemed to have a big aversion at even the suggestion. He would call her a few times throughout the day, he tried to keep it under three times a day, as to not seem overbearing. As much as he tried, he couldn't get a read on how she was feeling about his presence. Olivia always picked up his calls, but he wasn't sure if it was because she wanted to hear his voice or because she knew if she didn't pick up, the agents would come check on her.

The conversation was always light. The first few days, she answered in short one word answers if she absolutely had to speak. But, last week, she told him about how awful daytime TV was and how she couldn't believe anyone could sit around watching this all day. It wasn't much, but to Fitz it was progress, and he really was looking for any signs of improvement.

As much time and space as he wanted to give her, he was struggling. Having no idea where their relationship stood was driving him crazy. He didn't bring up the topic with her, though. The last thing he wanted to burden her with was their relationship status and where this was going. Obviously he really wanted to know where her head was at, but he knew he would have to wait. Reminding himself time after time this wasn't about him, Fitz would do his best to steer the conversation away from anything deep or emotional. She just wasn't ready, and he knew that.

Sometimes in the dark of the night, when she would wake up screaming, she would tell Fitz how much she needed him there. It had happened a handful of times, but it was hard to decipher what that actually meant. She was in tears, and shaking when she said that. Was she glad Fitz was there, or was she just glad someone was there? Just more questions Fitz didn't have answers to, and couldn't ask right now.

Doing his best to juggle his schedule so he could be with Olivia by 10 o'clock, Fitz knew he couldn't keep this up for long. His trip to London to meet with other world leaders had been on his mind. He would have to go. There was no rescheduling. After the disaster in West Angola, he needed to go for damage control if nothing else. He would have to leave, and he wouldn't be there to tuck her in, or scramble her eggs. Even worse, he wouldn't be there if she woke up screaming in the middle of the night.

The date was looming on his calendar like Armageddon. What if he left, and she didn't understand? What if she held this against him? It seemed like they were making progress, but what if this blew everything up for them? It didn't help matters that he had no idea where he stood with her.

He was living in this limbo because he didn't want to push her, but that meant that he had no idea how to proceed with anything in his life. He didn't know what to do about the presidency, he didn't know what to tell Mellie or his kids, and he didn't even know what to say to Olivia most of the time.

The only one he could really talk to about all of this was Abby. Cyrus wasn't about to lend an ear, and even though Mellie could have cared less once Olivia was home safe, it was insensitive to bring her into it. Every morning when he arrived in the Oval, Abby was there to give him the rundown for the day. Then, they would take a few minutes to talk, as friends.

Abby would ask how Olivia fared the night before. Olivia had only talked to Abby a few times since she had been back, except for Fitz's calls, most of the time Olivia ignored her phone all together. Fitz was exhausted, and Abby could tell. She was there to give him a pat on the back and let him know he was doing the right thing for Olivia. It was nice for him to have someone's encouragement.

The night before he would have to go to London, Fitz knew he needed to tell her. His agents had picked up gettysburger for a late dinner. She actually seemed pretty pleased with the surprise, and ate half of her burger. They talked about Fitz's day, and laughed at Cyrus talking about picking out preschools for Ella. He was really out of his element when it came to visiting preschools, and Fitz knew Olivia would get a kick out of it. She smiled, and even let out a few small laughs. More progress.

They both got ready for bed, her in some flannel pajama pants and a tank top, Fitz in his boxers and Navy tshirt. They settled in and watched some tv before she started yawning, and Fitz suggested it was time for bed. As they walked into her room, He started to panic realizing he had to tell her about his trip. He started to question his timing, knowing he could have and should have warned her about this earlier. As he was handing her some sleeping pills, he decided it was time to bite the bullet, there was no more stalling.

"Liv, I need to go to London for some meetings," he told her timidly. She looked up at him, clearly alarmed by the news.

"When?" she choked out.

Fitz took a deep breath. He knew he should have given her more warning, he just didn't want to stress her out. "I have to leave tomorrow afternoon".

Olivia's eyes widened. Fitz didn't expect this reaction. She clearly didn't want him to leave. In the middle of the night, when her dreams were haunting her, and she woke screaming, she had clung to him. But being so vocal about her need for her to have Fitz around had never happened when she was still so alert and awake.

"For how long?" She whispered.

Fitz sighed and sat down on the side of her bed. "Five days." Before Olivia could say anything else he continued. "I'm really sorry I didn't tell you, I didn't know how. Thats not an excuse though."

She looked right into his eyes, but Fitz couldn't read her. When she reached out to grab his hand, Fitz felt a wave of relief was over him. She leaned her head into his shoulder and he began to rub circles on her back.

"I'll make sure the agents are here, and Abby said she would stay in the guest room while I'm gone, so if you need anything-"

Olivia sat up and cut him off "I don't need a baby sitter, Fitz" Oh no, here it came, he thought, the lecture about his over bearing nature, how she could handle this on her own. Fitz knew what Olivia didn't though, this time she couldn't handle things on her own. She'd swing from leaning on him, to being angry, closed off and stubborn. It was happening with less frequency, but it was still happening. She needed help to get through this. Whether that help was him, or Abby, or a pyschologist, he didn't know. But he did know she needed help.

Fitz was getting well versed in how to handle her mood swings. He didn't argue, or raise his voice. Calming, he was always calming. "Nobody thinks you need a baby sitter", he said putting a few stray hairs behind her eaars. "We all just want to be here for you, Olivia," he was stern, but comforting.

"I know," she mumbled, looking down and avoiding eye contact. Then, she mustered up enough couraage to look up at him, right into his eyes. She swallowed hard, and paused for a minute. She knew Fitz needed to hear what she was thinking. "It's just, Abby isn't you. Your agents aren't you. I want you here Fitz, not them."

Hearing Olivia be so open and candid with Fitz, shocked him. But what she said resulted in such mixed feelings for him. He was extatic that she wanted him there, he was beyond grateful that she was finally starting to open up to him, but he was also heartbroken. He had to go, there was no getting around it. Leaving her after this development was going to be even more difficult.

He put his forehead to hers and breathed in her scent. "You know I wish more than anything that I didn't have to go," he told her honestly.

"Fitz," she sighed, "I didn't tell you that because I thought you would or even could stay. I told you because I thought you should know." He voice was a whisper, but it didn't sound like before. She wasn't weak, or scared. She was just sad. It was that simple.

"I'm still here tonight, and I will be here for breakfast in the morning, and you know the second I get back, I'll be here," he offered hoping to console her. "I'll call you so much you'll get sick of it," he added hoping to break the tension a little.

Olivia smiled and settled into her bed. "Oh I know it," she replied playfully, another welcomed sign for Fitz that she was making progress.

Fitz stood up, ready to tuck her in, and head down the hall to the guest bedroom. He pulled the covers up around her, and bent down to kiss her forehead, and then gave her a small hug, a routine he had done every night since Olivia returned. He almost couldn't believe he wouldn't be here to do it tomorrow. It was just as comforting to him as it was to Olivia.

Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts "Fitz, do you think you could stay In here tonight?" She whispered in his ear.

His could feel his heart thumping in his chest. "I would love to," he whispered back in her ear. He didn't want to seem eager, but he couldn't have been more excited about the invitation.

Pulling the covers back, he crawled into her bed. It was the most comfortable place on the planet to him. He laid on his back, and Olivia cuddled into him. Fitz smiled quietly and inhaled the scent of her hair. This was heaven. He decided not to think about his impending trip, but rather where he was right now, wrapped up in Olivia, warm in her bed, surrounded by all things Liv.

Olivia never said anything else. Eventually, her breathing slowed and Fitz could tell she had fallen asleep. Not long after, Fitz drifted off to sleep, happier than he'd been in months.

But morning would come too soon. Fitz awoke to his agents knocking on the door, he didn't want to disturb a sleeping Olivia, but he knew if he left her today without saying goodbye, she would be hurt, and angry. He shook her gently, and she stirred.

"Liv, it's time to get up," he whispered in her ear. A small groan escaped from her, as she tuned over onto her stomach. "Five more minutes," she grumbled into her pillow.

Fitz sighed. He always wished he could have five more minutes with her. Waiting for an answer, Olivia opened her eyes and turned toward Fitz. Both their heads lay resting on their own pillows, but they were nearly nose to nose. He looked at her intently, deciding to test the waters of where he stood. "One minute," he offered.

That phrase would seem insignificant to any other couple. But, to Olivia and Fitz, this phrase was at the very core of their relationship. One minute of forgetting the outside world where so much is expected of them, one minute where they don't have to be the people everyone expects, one minute where they are just a couple in love, just Liv and Fitz. The girl from New York who loves Gettysburger and has always wanted to learn how to make jam, and the boy from California who plays tennis and chops wood.

The look in Fitz's eyes said it all, and she didn't need to reply, she was always in for one minute with Fitz. She would fill the day with one minute after one minute if she could, and if she was being honest, that was the ultimate goal.

There they laid, nose to nose, Fitz's hand on Olivia's face, gazing into each other's souls. A tear escaped from Olivia's eye, and Fitz used his thumb to brush it away. He couldn't take it any longer, this moment was so intense and so intimate, he leaned into her and placed a slow and soft kiss on her lips.

Olivia flung her leg over Fitz and the kiss intensified, when a knock on the door stop them. "Sir, we need to keep you on schedule today," Fitz's agent interrupted. It was his agent John, again. That guy always seemed to draw the short straw.

Fitz groaned, "I know, we're getting up, thanks John." He gave Olivia one small quick kiss, and slowly got out of bed. He was like a kid on the first day of school. He didn't want to get back to his responsibilities, he wanted the carefree days of summer.

Olivia was very quiet the rest of the morning, and she didn't touch her breakfast. When Fitz couldn't stall any longer, Olivia walked him to her door.

"I am so sorry I have to go, Liv," he was pleading with her to understand. He knew on a logical level she did, but on an emotional level, he was worried. Her body language was very closed off and she stood with her arms crossed in front of her. Fitz took a step forward and rubbed her arms as if he was warming her up.

"I know, Fitz. This isn't your fault, it's something you have to do," she reasoned, though it seemed more like she was convincing herself than him. Her head knew that was the case, but her heart was breaking. She was almost angry with herself with how much emotional support she had been getting from Fitz. She hadn't even realized how much he was helping until being faced with the prospect of him not being around.

He leaned in and kissed her cheek. As much as Fitz wanted to hold her and kiss her, she just seemed too standoffish for that. "I will call you tonight, and Abby will be here sometime after six, ok?"

It wasn't ok, but it would have to be.

"Ok," she agreed. Fitz grabbed the doorknob, but stopped short of turning it. He didn't want to scare her off, but he had to let her know. "I love you Olivia Pope," he said into the door, before turning the knob and disappearing into the hallway. He didn't wait for an answer, he didn't want her to feel obligated to say anything back.

Olivia stood in her living room, still in her pajamas staring at the closed door. "I love you too, Fitzgerald Grant," she whispered to her empty apartment. Then the flood gates opened,and the tears began to flow freely. This was going to be a very long five days.


	5. Chapter 5

Just before six, there was a knock on the door. Olivia wondered how Abby could possibly get away with leaving the White House so early. When she was at the podium, she never saw daylight hours outside of the press room. Fitz had a hand in this, Olivia was sure of it. Not only did he ask Abby to watch her, but he was giving her time off to do it, too.

Olivia opened the door, but returned right back to her comfy post on her couch without saying anything or even making eye contact with her best friend. She felt like she was being babysat, and if she was going to be treated like a child, she was going to pout like one.

"Well, hello to you too," Abby said sarcastically, plopping down a large brown bag of food on the coffee table in front of Olivia. She looked at her friend trying to read her, but Olvia was refusing to make eye contact. Abby's voice softened, "I know you're not particularly pleased that I'm here Liv, but I want to be here."

That at least that garnered a look Abbys way. But the not so inviting look she got turned into a not so pleasant comment. "You're here because Fitz told you to be, and he's the President of the United States, you can't exactly tell him no," Olivia quipped, not really sure why she was being so harsh.

She was actually glad she wasn't alone. If she was being honest, she missed Fitz, and was angry he had to go. Not that Olivia was angry at Fitz, but she was angry with the situation. She wished he was there, and that anger was being misplaced.

Abby sat down next to her friend. "Yes, Fitz asked me to be here. And yes, of course I agreed. But he didn't ask as the President of the United States, he asked as a friend, he asked as the man in love with you, Liv"

Olivia was caught off guard. It wasn't often that she heard about Fitz's feelings for her from anyone other than him.

"And even if he didn't ask me, I'd still want to be here. You know I love you. I'm still your gladiator, even if I work in the White House. I'm still your best friend, Olivia. That won't change," Abby explained.

She spoke sternly and quickly, not knowing how Olivia would react to her rant. Abby began pulling salads from the bag in front of her and continued," We're all these important, public people, Liv. We matter to the world. He's the President, I'm the White House Press Secretary, Cyrus is Chief of Staff, David is the Attorney General, and you, you're THE Olivia Pope." She kicked off her high heels and pulled her legs up underneath her on the couch, turning toward her friend.

Abby handed a plastic fork to Olivia and continued, "But, we're also JUST people, Liv. We're people who drink wine and complain about our day, we order gettysberger and eat popcorn for dinner. We have twitter accounts, and watch the same five things on CNN for hours in a row. We make bake goods in each others kitchens." Olivia smiled at the memories.

"We're just a bunch of friends when it comes down to it, Liv. Just friends, friends who happen to have important day jobs. And you and Fitz, you're not the fixer and the president, you're soul mates," Abby finished.

Olivia didn't know how to respond, but Abby knew that, and she wasn't really expecting a response. She just wanted Olivia to hear her. "I'm here beocause I want to be with my friend who could use some company. Ok?" Abby asked as she took a bite of her salad.

"Ok," Olivia nodded. She pulled her salad off the table in front of her and leaned back into her couch. The the two ate in front of the TV watching CNN and talking about the latest White House gossip. Olivia was shocked at all she had been missing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Abby was right, they were just people. And half the people that worked in that White House still acted like high schoolers. She was laughing and making jokes. It felt so good to be so carefree for even just a moment.

Before Olivia knew it, it was 11, and Abby was suggesting they head to bed. In that instant the anxiety of going to bed without Fitz there had set in. She hated feeling so dependent on him. She had never been like this before. Abby sensed her hesitation and asked if she wanted to watch a movie instead.

"I have to go to bed sometime, Abby, but thanks for the offer. I do appreciate you being here," Olivia finally admitted.

Abby knew Olivia would come around. "Of course, Liv, what are friends for?" Abby looked around at the mess they had made from dinner. Olivia began to pick up, when Abby took the salad containers from her. "Don't worry about it, Liv, let me get it. You go get ready for bed." Olivia nodded and slowly drug herself back to her room. She was really dreading this.

Olivia showered and crawled into bed, when she noticed an envelope on her night stand. It was Fitz's handwriting. She smiled at the thought of Fitz leaving it for her. She wasted no time in picking it up and reading it's contents.

Liv,

Call me whenever you need me. Don't you dare worry what time it is.

Whether I'm down the hall, in our bed, or an ocean away, we're in this together.

I love you.

Fitz

Olivia ran her fingers over his handwriting, staring at the words he had written. He was so patient with her. All this time she had spent pushing him away, and he just kept coming back. He might have been the one who was unavailable in so many different ways, but she was the one emotionally unavailable to him. How was he still around? After everything she had done, and said? After all he had tried to give up for her?

Olivia was brought out of her thoughts when Abby poked her head in the door. "Are you all set? Can I get you anything?" the redhead asked sweetly.

"I'm fine, Abby. Thanks again." Olivia had really warmed to the idea of having someone else around. Her friends really were worried about her, and Liv was feeling the support. Growing up they way she did, with a mom who was gone and a father who was a super secret spy, she didn't really ever have a family. But Fitz and her friends, had become her family. She was seeing that now with how they were rallying around her. It felt warm, and supportive, and loving. It was just, nice.

Heck and Quinn were holding the fort down at OPA, Abby was taking care of her in Fitz's absence, David had sent flowers. Even as she was pushing them away, they were all doing what they could for her. They really were wonderful.

Abby nodded and turned to leave before stopping herself. "Oh, hey, you better call that man, too. He may be your soul mate, but he's also my boss, and if you don't call him, I might not have a job when I wake up in the morning,"Abby joked before heading down the hall to the guest room.

Olivia smiled and picked up her phone. He answered on the first ring. "Hi," his voice sounded deep and raspy.

"Hi," she responded, snuggling deep into her covers. He could hear the smile in her voice.

"How was your day?" Fitz asked leaning back in his chair. It was nearly 6 am in London, and he hadn't slept. Between the jet lag and the lack of Olivia in his arms, he knew it was going to be a very long day. Hearing her voice would help him get through.

"I miss you," she blurted out honestly.

Fitz sighed. It was so nice to hear her expressing her feelings, but it was heartbreaking at the same time. He just wanted to be with her. "I miss you too, Liv."

Something about talking to him on the phone felt so much more comfortable than talking to him in person. It was the comfort of being able to tell him how she felt without having to look him in the face. Besides that, along with the flood of emotions she had felt while reading Fitz's note, Olivia was feeling brave.

"I don't know what I would have done without you these past few weeks, Fitz. I'm so scared, and so relieved all at the same time. Sometimes I fell like someone could come and take me again at any minute, and sometimes I feel such a sense of relief it's over, and I'm back here with everyone, with you," Olivia admitted.

"You know there's no where else I could have been these past few weeks. You are what matters most to me. You and my kids, Olivia." Fitz decided if she was vocalizing her thoughts, he should too. He'd been holding off not to scare her away, but it was becoming more difficult by the day to hold it all in. " I love you, I adore you. I would do anything for you. You have to know that by now," he added wanting nothing more than to reach through the phone to hold her.

Olivia was quiet. Sharing her feelings was hard for her, but she wanted to try. "I think I'm starting to see that," she responded quietly.

The last thing Fitz wanted to do was make her uncomfortable, and he could things were heading that way, so he steered the conversation in a new direction and talked about their days. He told her about his trip on Air Force One, and she told him about her evening with Abby. They laughed about the White House gossip Olivia had been filled in on. They were just talking like a normal couple about their day.

Olivia was getting sleepy, and she knew Fitz needed to head off to his meetings for the day. When she could no longer keep her eyes open, or the phone to her ear, she let Fitz know. "I think I'm ready for bed," Olivia managed to say through her yawns.

"Ok Liv, sweet dreams." Fitz wanted to stall. Hanging up was almost as difficult at leaving in the first place was. But she needed his rest, and he did have things to do.

There was a long pause, and Olivia, in her sleepy state somewhere between dreams and reality dropped a bomb on Fitz. "I still want Vermont, Fitz," she whispered. It was so quiet, almost inaudible, but to him it was clear as day.

His love for her washed over him, and suddenly he had goosebumps. He had been so careful about not scaring her off, but he wanted nothing more than to pour his heart out to her. "You are the love of my life, Olivia Pope. Someday you're going to let me love you, and whenever that day is, whenever you are ready, I'm going to be there. And, Liv, it's going to be amazing." he responded in his deep baritone voice.

Olivia was so tired, she almost couldn't process what she had just told him, let alone his response. But one thing she did know, she had never really believed in the love between her and Fitz before. Not like she did now. She was finally seeing what everyone around them could: They belonged together.

"And, it's going to be amazing," she repeated softly. "Goodnight, Fitz," she breathed out before hanging up the phone.

"Goodnight, my love," he responded even though she had already hung up.

Thank you again for all your sweet and kind reviews! You guys rock! I hope I am keeping you all entertained!


	6. Chapter 6

Over the next few days Olivia seemed to improve. She hadn't had any nightmares, she was getting dressed every day and eating regularly. Abby stayed every night, and Olivia was even having visitors during the day, as Quinn, Huck and David had all stopped by to see her. They brought lunch, and had light conversations.

Everyone was so supportive, and reminded Olivia to do everything at her own pace. She appreciated the concern and the patience. It was all very eye opening to her. Of course professionally, they would do anything she needed. But, she didn't realize how much they were personally there for her until this ordeal. She was shifting her view of her co-workers. They weren't just the people who worked for her, or with her, they were a family, and her family had been looking out for her.

Even Jake had been calling to check up on her. Olivia knew at some point she was going to have to talk to him. She felt like she owed it to Jake to tell him where her heart was, but she just wasn't ready to do it yet. She sent him a a few texts back just to let him know she was improving, but she wasn't ready to talk yet.

For all the progress she seemed to be making, she still hadn't left her apartment yet. Though she was feeling a bit stir crazy, it just seemed like an insurmountable task to set foot into the world outside her door.

The agents were still there. She knew this because every morning she'd open her door just a crack to make sure they were still there. The rational part of her mind knew Fitz wouldn't allow them to leave. But, for some reason she felt better double checking.

Fitz was still in London. Olivia didn't know when he was sleeping because he seemed to be calling at all hours of the day. In reality, Fitz was exhausted. His schedule was jam packed, and he couldn't sleep even when he tried. Not only was he worried about Olivia, but going to sleep without her next to him proved a nearly impossible task. On top of all of that, he wanted to be available if she ever needed him.

Fitz called her to check in once during the day. It took everything in him not to call or text her every spare second he had, but he didn't want to seem overbearing. Besides that daily call, Fitz was sure to be up early in London, so he could talk to her before she fell asleep.

Their conversations hadn't been as intimate as the first night he was gone. Olivia hadn't been so open, and while Fitz was sure to tell her he loved her before they hung up, he hadn't really pushed the issue of their relationship. It wasn't something he really wanted to do over the phone anyway. In the back of his mind though, he couldn't help but be worried they were taking a step back. After all, he was always the one to call Olivia; she wasn't picking up the phone to call him. He tried to put that out of his mind as well. As hard as it was, he had to focus on being president.

It was Thursday night in D.C. and Friday morning in London, when Olivia's phone rang for her nightly conversation with Fitz. She excused herself from the living room with Abby where they had ben watching TV, drinking wine, and eating popcorn. It had been a good day, Olivia was feeling lighter. She was feeling stronger. She was smiling.

"Hello, Mr. President," Olivia answered playfully. She must have had a little too much wine, she thought to herself.

Fitz could sense her smile over the phone. He had tossed and turned all night, between Olivia and the mess in West Angola, the weight of the world was on his shoulders, and he was feeling it. But somehow, talking to her melted all of that away. "Someone is is a good mood," he replied.

Now Olivia was sensing his smile. "I had a good day, that's all," she shrugged.

Fitz couldn't have been happier to hear her say that. She was working through all of this and progressing. First and foremost that was amazing for Olivia. But that also left him with high hopes for the two of them being able to move forward soon. The state of limbo was killing him. He'd do it forever if he had to, but that wasn't ideal.

"I'm glad to hear you're doing better, Livie,"

Olivia smiled even brighter, she loved when he called her Livie, though she'd never admit it.

The two talked about the latest news, and Fitz told her all that he could about his meetings when eventually Fitz was being pulled away. He told Olivia he loved her, and reminded her of the countdown until he was back, like he did every night. Meanwhile, Olivia thanked him for calling in a strangely cordial way, like she did every night. When they hung up, Olivia turned off her bedside lamp, and went to sleep. Fitz continued on his day.

A few hours later, Olivia abruptly sat up gasping for air. Another bad dream had plagued her. She tried to calm herself, but he palms were sweaty and her head was pounding. She was disoriented and dizzy, and couldn't seem to get a handle on where she was. It took a second for her eyes to focus in the dark, and then without thinking she reached over, picked up her phone and dialed Fitz.

Seconds before walking into a scheduled meeting with the British Prime Minister and his wife, Fitz felt the vibration in his pocket from his personal cell phone. Immediately, he knew something was wrong. The only reason he had his personal cell phone was for emergencies, for Mellie and the kids, and for Olivia. His gut told him it was Liv. He had to take this.

He held up his index finger to his Secret Service detail to motion to hold on, and stepped off to the side of the hallway. He didn't even look at the phone before he answered, "Liv?"

Her breathing over the phone was all he needed to hear to know what was going on. "Baby, it was just a bad dream. You're ok. You're fine." He tried to steady his voice even though he was panicking at the thought that all this was occurring and he was an ocean away. There was no way to get to her, and that made him sick.

"Liv, you've got to talk to me. Just breathe, slowly in and out. Lets work on trying to catch your breath first, ok?" If he were there, he would have run to her room, kissed her forehead, stroked her hair, and rubbed circles on her back until she calmed down. But here he was thousands of miles away. He had never felt so helpless.

Olivia listened to his words, and listened to his instructions. Her breathing slowed and she began to get her bearings. She didn't even remember calling him, but she was glad to hear his voice.

Hearing her breathing return to normal, Fitz felt a sense of relief rush over him. Immediately after that sense of relief came something else though. Suddenly he felt very self-concious. He was in a hallway with people all around, if someone from the press had heard him, this would be everywhere. He didn't care for himself, he cared for her. He'd shout his love for her from the rooftops if he thought Olivia would ok with it. But he knew better.

As she regained her composure, she felt ridiculous for having called him. He was the leader of the free world, and he had very important things to do, and she was bothering him with some nightmares. "I'm so sorry Fitz, I shouldn't have called, you have places to be," she apologized.

This time Fitz was aware of his surroundings. He reminded himself to speak quietly and not to use her name. "You know it's ok," he said vaguely. "This is more important," he whispered into the phone.

"I just... I needed to hear your voice," she admitted.

Fitz sighed, not only could he not be with her, but he couldn't even safely vocalize anything he wanted to say to her. He wanted to tell her how much his heart was breaking that he wasn't there. He wanted to tell her how empty his arms felt because he couldn't hold her. He wanted to tell her that they needed to find a way to make sure they didn't spend anymore nights apart.

But he couldn't. Instead he had to answer being vague and quiet. "Anytime," he told her with as much feeling as he could. Hopefully she would get the message through the tone of his voice.

"And I wish you were here, I really just want you to be here" she sniffled. Slow tears were beginning to fall. Her guard was down, she was too tired emotionally and physically to keep her walls up.

Fitz felt as though he had been punched in the gut. God, did he wish he was there too. He had to get home. He had to get to her. "I do too," he choked out.

As Fitz wiped a tear away from his eye, he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Sir, the Prime Minister is waiting," his agent gently reminded him. Fitz knew he had to go, but he couldn't bring himself to get off the phone.

Olivia heard the voice on the other end, and felt terribly guilty for pulling Fitz away from work. "Oh my God, Fitz, I'm so sorry, you have to keep your schedule," she apologized again. "I'll talk to you later."

She didn't even give him a chance to respond before hanging up.

There were a lot of parts about being president Fitz didn't really enjoy, and not having the freedom to go where you personally needed to be was one of them. All he wanted to do was get on Air Force One, and go back to D.C., to Olivia. But, that wasn't an option at that moment. You don't just cancel on foreign dignitaries with no notice. Fitz tried to call her back, but she didn't pick up, so he tucked his phone back into his pocket before being shown in to see the Prime Minister.

Olivia had tossed and turned the rest of her night. She felt embarrassed that she had called Fitz like that. It was one thing when it was the middle of the night, and he was steps away from her. Then he had no where else to be, no other obligations. But, to have called him when he was in the middle of an important visit to London was another thing entirely. She couldn't believe she had done that.

What if someone had heard? She was being so reckless with her affection for Fitz, and she knew it had to stop. He had much more important things to attend to than her nightmares. His day couldn't stop for her, and she felt terrible that she had even implied that it should by calling him.

Fitz left her be for a few hours, hoping she had gone back to sleep. But, when it was morning back in D.C., he was sure to try and put in a call in every time he had a spare minute. Each time he tried to call her, she was too embarrassed to pick up. He felt helpless. It was always one step forward, two steps back with them, and that was going to have to stop. He thought it might be time to start pushing her a little harder, for the sake of everyone moving forward.

Fitz had spent his day in a fog, doing his best to focus, but his mind was always drifted back to Olivia. He had smoothed things over as much as he thought he would realistically be able to in London. Knowing his last day was mostly just social events, he told Cyrus and Abby he was going to head home a day early. He wasn't going to stay away from Olivia a second longer than he had to. It was time to fly home. Surely Abby and Cyrus could come up with a cover story, something about how well the meetings went, and how he had other matters to attend to at home.

Olivia spent her day reading, avoiding the outside world. She didn't want to turn on the TV for fear that a journalist would have heard his end of the conversation last night, and it would be all over the news. She would be painted as his mistress yet again. Squashing those rumors the first time wasn't terribly difficult, but doing it again would be a much harder sell, nearly impossible.

It wasn't like her to avoid a problem, but this was the new Olivia, and this Olivia didn't face her problems head on. If she was being honest, she wasn't a fan of this attitude of this new person she was becoming. She was more closed off then ever. She hadn't left her apartment in over a month. She was scared of everything, and the more she thought about it, the more Olivia decided she just couldn't take it anymore. Something had to change. The last thing she wanted was to spend the rest of her life hiding in her apartment, avoiding the world, avoiding her friends, avoiding Fitz.

That wasn't really living, and now that she had been given another chance, a chance to live a happy, fulfilled life, she needed to live every day to the fullest, she needed to stop worrying about optics and be happy. She needed to enjoy herself. If that meant going through some difficult times to be with the man she loved, then she would just have to cope with whatever consequences came.

Coming to the realization that she needed to deal with her issues, instead of hiding from them, Olivia felt a new sense of control, of power. She picked up the phone to dial Fitz. He would be back tomorrow night, and as much as she wished they could talk about this in person, she figured talking over the phone was better than waiting. But, she got no answer.

Olivia sat on the couch deep in though, her fingers mindlessly tapping her phone. Then she abruptly got up, grabbed her purse and opened the front door. The shock on the agents faces spoke volumes to her. It was obvious the agents couldn't believe their eyes, and Olivia was slightly embarrassed to be garnering this sort of response for a simple thing like leaving her apartment. Another sign things had gone way too far.

"Can we go to the store?" she asked the John, the agent she was most familiar with, nonchalantly. She was hoping if she acted like it was no big deal, it would be contagious.

"Of course Ms. Pope," he smiled. Agents rarely showed emotion, but John had been at Olivia's door for weeks, and he was happy to see her taking this step. He knew the president would be pleased.

The two headed out, and Olivia never looked back. The fresh, cool evening air felt good in her lungs, the interaction with people felt natural, and she never once felt uneasy. She was sure the presence of the Secret Service agent by her side helped her feeling of security, but she wondered to herself what took so long for her to finally take this step.

Olivia and John arrived back at her apartment with two bags of groceries in hand. Olivia had always hated the idea of losing her freedom as a result of being with Fitz. Having the Secret Service hanging around always seemed like it would be such a burden to her, but she was quickly realizing what a blessing they could be too.

Thanks to their presence, she wasn't really worried about her safety. She was more concerned that someone would notice the agents and alert the media, fueling speculation yet again about her relationship with Fitz than she was about anything else.

Abby didn't arrive until nearly nine that night. She knocked on the door, and when Olivia answered, Abby noticed a new glow to her friend's face. "You look good," Abby

observed, setting down the bag of food full of dinner. "I'm sorry I'm so late, things were crazy at the White House tonight."

"I remember," Olivia smiled. "And don't worry about dinner, I already ate," she added.

Abby was confused. "Last I looked in your fridge you had some wine and cheese, Liv; you need something a little bit more substantial than that," Abby lectured as she pulled food from the bag.

"Actually, I went to the store today," Olivia said proudly.

Abby dropped the container in her hand. "You left the apartment" she questioned turning around to look at her friend. She was so happy. She was in shock, but happy.

"I did. I'm really feeling better, Abbs. I went out, and it felt nice. It wasn't scary or anything. John went with me, but I still did it," Olivia responded. She knew it was a big step, and she was ok with Abby making a big deal out of it.

"I'm so happy for you, Liv. And, He's going to be so excited about this when you see you him tonight, Liv," Abby hugged her friend.

"When I see who tonight?" Olivia asked, suddenly confused.

"The president," Abby answered casually as she sat down to eat her dinner. As friendly as they were, she still had a hard time calling him Fitz.

"What do you mean? Fitz isn't supposed to be back until tomorrow night?" Olivia questioned.

Abby suddenly realized Olivia didn't know. "Have you not been watching the news? He's on his way back, Liv. He cut his trip a day short. That's why I was so late. The press had all kinds of questions about his early departure."

Olivia's look said it all, she had no idea. He was doing this because of her bad dream, because she had called him, and because she didn't answer her phone when he called. He dropped everything for her. She felt guilty and excited at the same time.

She sat down next to her friend on the couch, clearly shocked.

"He should be here soon, I imagine he'll want to come here as soon as he can." Abby told her. She had just assumed that Liv knew.

The two spent their evening watching a movie with a glass of wine. Just before midnight, when Olivia was about to fall asleep, there was a knock on her door. Olivia's stomach was in knots. She didn't know if he'd be angry with her for ignoring him today or if he'd just be happy to see her.

"Liv?" his voice pulled her out of her thoughts. She quickly got up, crossed the room, and opened the door.

She didn't even give Fitz the chance to say anything, and she didn't even worry about who was in the hall. Her body crashed into his as she wrapped her arms around Fitz's neck, ran her fingers through his hair, and passionately kissed him.

When she finally pulled away to catch her breath, Fitz leaned in and put his forehead to hers.

"Hi," he smiled.

"Hi," Olivia responded.


	7. Chapter 7

Olivia pulled away from Fitz, and grabbed his hand, walking him into her apartment. Her affection had caught him off guard, but he loved it. Truthfully, he was nervous about how she would react to his early arrival. She would often lecture him on his responsibilities as president, and if she had any inclination that he was neglecting any of them to be with her, she would become distant and cold. He was armed with talking points in case she argued with him about leaving a day early. Things had gone well in London, and he had accomplished more than he had hoped to. Not only that, but Abby and Cyrus were prepared to handle the press, and most importantly, Olivia needed him.

But Fitz didn't need any of those talking points. She was just happy to see him; he realized then that they had entered entirely new territory. Not only did it seem like she was getting better, but it seemed like things were actually progressing with them. That was a new development, a welcomed development.

Abby was still on the couch, feeling embarrassed at having witnessed their display of affection. Fitz smiled at her, and she nodded back "it's good to see you sir," Abby said breaking the silence in the room.

"Abby, you can drop the sir, we're at Olivia's apartment, not the White House. Here, I'm just Fitz," he told her honestly. It was nice just to be Fitz sometimes.

"See Liv, we're all just friends, friends who happen to have important jobs." She replied, referencing their conversation from a few days ago. " I guess I should be going then," Abby yawned. She was suddenly feeling like a third wheel.

"Abby it's late, just stay," Olivia suggested, not wanting Abby to feel like she had to leave just because Fitz was there.

"It's fine Abby, you take the guest room, I'll take the couch," Fitz added.

Abby scoffed sarcastically,"yea, because I'm just going to make the President of the United States of America sleep on the couch."

Olivia interjected, "Fitz can stay in my room, you can have the guest room, Abby." She didn't wait for a response before continuing, "ok, then, off to bed."

Awkward didn't begin to describe how Abby felt, but she was tired, so she had no problem heading down to the guest room and tucking herself in.

When Fitz and Olivia got to her room, he took off his suit jacket and loosened his tie. "Do you mind if I shower Liv, it's been a long day?"

Olivia nodded "you know where the clean towels are." She climbed into bed, and applied some lotion to her hands as Fitz headed off to the bathroom. Something about all of this felt so normal. The two of them getting ready for bed together, it had happened so many nights on the trail, but since then these nights have been few and far between.

The hot water running down Fitz's back felt amazing. He was exhausted, but energized at the same time, seeing her did that to him. He got out of the shower and toweled off. As he threw the towel in the laundry basket, something caught his eye. The Grant for President shirt he had seen a few weeks ago in her drawer was at the top of the pile of dirty clothes.

He smiled, and opened the bathroom door, rolling the steam from the shower into the bedroom. He grabbed the shirt out of the hamper and stuck his head out of the bathroom door, "Hey Liv? What's this doing here?" He asked playfully, but really wanting to know the answer. Ordinarily he wouldn't draw attention to something like this, but tonight felt different, they felt different, his Liv seemed different.

Her cheeks flushed. "Last night, after my dream, I slept in it, it made me feel closer to you," she answered, refusing to make eye contact.

Fitz, in his baby blue boxers, crossed the room and sat down next to her. He took his hand and brought it to her chin, forcing her to make eye contact. "That's very sweet, LIv. I hope it helped." He didn't want her to be ashamed or embarrassed. Not only did his heart leap at the thought of her still wearing the shirt, but he couldn't be more pleased she was vocalizing her feelings.

As soon as he dropped his hand, she was looking away again, but he wasn't worried, she was making huge strides. He climbed under the covers, and she adjusted on her pillow to face Fitz. There they laid, each on their own pillows, with their noses only inches apart. Fitz could feel the warmth from her breath on his face.

They didn't say anything, but instead laid their looking into each others eyes. The moment became very intense, when neither one of them looked away. Fitz brought his hand up to her face, and tucked some stay hairs behind her ear. A small tear escaped Olivia's eye, and he wiped it away. Fitz didn't say anything, but his inquisitive look prompted Olivia to share her feelings.

She had all kinds of things swirling through her head, and she wasn't entirely too sure what to say. Finally she settled on her statement "I'm just happy you're home, Fitz."

The word home caught Fitz off guard. Maybe he was reading into it too much, but she didn't say "I'm happy your here", or "I'm happy your back", instead she said home. And that meant something to Fitz.

He wanted to talk to her about her word choice, he wanted to talk to her about where to go from here, but it was late, and he just wanted one more night where things would seem simple and uncomplicated. Eventually, and sooner rather than later, they needed to talk about their future. They'd had plans before, so many times before, but this time was different. This time they'd finally follow through, they had to. This was their make it or break it.

He knew once this started moving forward, assuming optimistically it would, it wouldn't be enough to just stay a few nights at her place, and call her a few times during the day. He wanted more, and she deserved more. They had to start working towards something, towards Vermont, not just living for stolen moments throughout the day.

But, tonight wasn't the night to bring all of that up. "I'm happy to be home, Liv," he told her. She turned around, and settled into him, as he brought his arms around her. "Goodnight, Liv,"he whispered as he felt his eyelids get heavy.

"Goodnight Fitz," she whispered back as she gave his arms a squeeze. She felt so safe and content, as she was almost certain only good dreams could come to her tonight.

The next morning when she awoke, Fitz was gone. There was a note scribbled on a piece of paper on her night stand that read: I'll see you tonight, call me if you need me. I love you.

Olivia smiled. Things were looking up for her. She decided today not only would she leave the apartment, but she would head to OPA. She needed to get back to some sense of normalcy. The whole world hadn't been privy to her ordeal, and while that was best, for her safety and for Fitz's approval rating, people were also wondering where the great Olivia Pope had gone. She suspected their were rumors she had gone off the grid again, and she wanted to put those to rest. The last thing she wanted to seem like was a flake who kept disappearing.

Olivia poked her head out the door to let John know of her plans for the day, before returning back into her apartment to get dressed and eat some breakfast. She put on a short sleeved grey silk blouse, sleek black pants, and some black pumps. It felt so strange to have her feet in heels again, but it also felt empowering. She wasn't hiding anymore. Olivia grabbed her bag and headed out. John was more than happy to drive her over to OPA, and assured her he would stay in the office to ensure her safety, but far enough away he didn't impose.

They took the elevator up to the fourth floor. As the elevator doors opened, and she stepped out, Olivia took a deep breath and looked around. It looked the same, it smelled the same, but something felt a little off. It didn't feel quite the way it used to. John sensed her hesitation. "Is everything all right Ms. Pope," he asked gently.

Olivia nodded, "thanks John, it's fine. If you need coffee or anything, just help yourself."

John smiled. It was nice working with Olivia. It was a different job than protecting the president, that's for sure. He took his post in the hall, and Olivia continued to her office.

Not too much later, Quinn arrived, carrying coffees for her and Huck, ready to start the day. Shocked but pleased to see Olivia in the office, she set down the coffees and gave her boss and friend a hug.

"Olivia, it's so great to see you in here, are you back, is OPA back?" Quinn rapidly fired questions, until she realized it might be too much.

"Let's just see where we're at with everything, ok? I don't even know if people want me to be their fixer anymore. I'm not sure what I want to do. But, I won't leave you and Huck like that again, ok?" Olivia explained.

"Works for me," Quinn happily agreed. At that moment the elevator doors opened again, and Huck stepped out. His eyes got big at the sight of Olivia back in the office.

He stuck his hands in his pockets and shyly looked down at his feet. Huck wasn't good with hellos or goodbyes. Olivia knew she needed to take the lead on this one. "Hi Huck. It's good to see you."

Olivia held open her arms, and Huck walked into them. "Don't scare me like that again, ok?" He mumbled. Olivia shook her head in agreement and Huck pulled away. It was such a small interaction between the two, but that was how they communicated. It worked for them.

Quinn took a few minutes to get her up to speed, and directed Olivia to some accounting papers on her desk. When Quinn left and it was only Olivia in her office, she took a moment to soak it all in. She sat at her desk, elbows bent and hands folded. She just couldn't shake the feeling that she wasn't exactly where she belonged. It all just felt out of place.

The sound of her phone vibrating against the hard wood of her desk brought Olivia out of her thoughts. As soon as she heard the noise, she knew it was Fitz. Not hesitating, Olivia answered.

"I hear you're out and about," Fitz stated happily. Olivia knew it wouldn't be long until word of her day's events spread to Fitz.

"I went to the store yesterday, too," Olivia said proudly. Usually she hated anyone making a big deal out of anything she did, but this felt nice, reassuring, that Fitz was taking note of the steps she was taking to get back to normal.

Fitz swung his feet up on his desk and leaned back in his chair. "So how's it feel being back at OPA?" He questioned.

Olivia sighed "it's good, Fitz, but something seems off, a little weird. It's like in my gut, I don't feel this is where I belong."

Fitz raised his eyebrows. Maybe she wasn't ready for this. "It's still great that you're there, that you got out, that you're moving on," Fitz encouraged.

A light knock on the door of the Oval Office, and Fitz knew his rare spare moment between meetings was up. "Liv, duty calls, I have to go. I will see you tonight. Don't push yourself too hard, ok?"

"Ok. I'll see you tonight," she agreed.

Fitz hung up his phone on his desk. "What is it, Lauren," he bellowed.

His secretary stuck her head in the door. "I don't mean to interrupt you, but the First Lady's office called to let us know she's on the way down."

Fitz knew this was coming. He hadn't seen Mellie since he'd been back from London, and he was preparing for a lecture. She wouldn't be mad that he had rushed to see Olivia the second he got back. No, instead she would be worried about the optics of him coming home a day early. Mellie was always concerned with public opinion, and Fitz didn't necessarily blame her for that. His career was winding down, there were no more elections in his future. He didn't have to worry so much about the polls. But Mellie's career was just getting started, and she knew she needed the public on her side.

At least things had gotten better between them lately. They both finally seemed to be on the same page. They weren't together because they were in love, they were together to advance their own personal aspirations, and they had both finally admitted that fact. They were friends, or at least friendly, with each other. It was a working, functional relationship. It wasn't ideal or conventional, but it worked for them, for now.

Their relationship had changed drastically in the last weeks. When Olivia was missing, Mellie saw how much Fitz loved Olivia, how much he needed her, and Mellie even encouraged him to follow his heart. When Fitz saw the compassion in her, he wanted to return the favor and encourage Mellie to follow her heart, her dreams. He wanted to give her what she wanted. After everything they had been through, she deserved to be happy too.

In an effort to move forward, Mellie and Fitz had a handful of discussions about what they really wanted out of life. Mellie wanted power, she wanted the office someday. Fitz wanted Vermont, Olivia. Though they had never talked about what that would mean exactly, or the logistics of it all, they agreed to be supportive of each other going forward. It all sounded good in theory, but Fitz knew parts of this working relationship would have to change.

"Fitzgerald, we need to talk," a bright eyed Mellie announced as she came through the door. She was cold, and not pleased. Fitz could tell because she had used his whole name.

"Mel, look, I'm sorry, I did everything I needed to in London. It was only one day," he reasoned.

But Mellie cut him off "oh, I don't care about that. I care about this." Mellie dropped her iPad in front of him.

Fitz picked it up, and read the headline on the trashy entertainment website. His heart dropped, they were running a story about Olivia, and her kidnapping. He wasn't mentioned, but he knew if this story gained any sort of traction it would not only spell huge trouble for his presidency, but more importantly it wouldn't be good for Olivia, on so many levels.

"It's just one blog right now, Fitz. But we need to squash it. This could get out of hand fast. And, I don't want to say it, but you probably shouldn't be spending every night over there. Someone is going to catch onto it." Mellie was speaking sternly but she wasn't being unreasonable.

Fitz knew she was right, he knew he was being reckless in how much time he was spending at Olivia's. But she hadn't been ready to leave her apartment, and Fitz didn't want to push, so he just kept going to her. "I know, you're right, Mellie."

Mellie picked up her iPad and turned up her nose. "Of course I am," she said matter of factly. Mellie turned to leave, but before she got to the door, Fitz's words stopped her in her tracks.

"But I still have to go over there tonight," he told her. Mellie turned on her heel and stared back at him. Fitz tried to soften his words, "I promised her, Mel. This is important. I'll talk to her about this tonight, but I have to do it in person." His eyes pleaded with her not to argue over this.

"Alright, fine," Mellie relented. "You know what I want here. I want to be the senator from Virginia, and I want to be the president of the United States someday. As long as that still happens, you do what you need to do." And with that, Mellie was gone.

Fitz ran his hands through his hair. At least their new dynamic was working. It might not have been a pleasant conversation, but it was an honest one, and There was one more honest conversation he was going to have to have before the day was up. All he could do was hope Olivia was ready for it.


	8. Chapter 8

The West Wing kept Fitz busy all day, he returned to the residence just before 10 pm. He was hoping not to see Mellie, as he snuck into his closet to change his clothes and retrieve something special. He put on some jeans, and grabbed his navy blue cashmere sweater. Just as he was pulling the sweater over his white undershirt, he was startled by Mellie.

"I thought you weren't going to be here tonight," she questioned. He turned around and came face to face with his wife.

So much for avoiding her, he thought to himself. "I'm just getting something real quick, then I'm going to Olivia's," Fitz answered, clearly annoyed.

It was different to be so honest with Mellie about his relationship with Olivia. It wasn't always easy, but it was best for everyone if he didn't try to hide anything.

"Ok, you are going to talk to her tonight, right Fitz? I don't care what you two do, but if you get caught over there, we're both done. It'll ruin my run for the Senate for sure, Fitz." Mellie actually sounded very matter of fact about the whole thing, like she was just asking him kindly to keep how this affected her in mind. She didn't want to nag either, but this was important to her.

Fitz felt bad, she was being cordial about it, and he was giving her a snotty tone. "I know, Mel, I'm sorry. I'll talk to her," Fitz gave Mellie a kiss on the cheek to try and smooth things over and headed out the door.

On the way to Olivia's he couldn't help but dwell on this new, weird relationship with Mellie. They were getting along fine, like friends. But, Fitz was worried about what was to come. He couldn't just stay married to her forever. If she really did want to be president someday, he couldn't be around for that, at least not in the same capacity. He had put his life on hold with Olivia for his presidency, and he regretted it nearly every day. He couldn't possibly ask her to wait through someone else's presidency. Besides that, he didn't want to wait any longer.

He knew bringing up divorce with Mellie wouldn't go over well. Fitz felt guilty, and selfish for putting his happiness above her dreams, when he knew Mellie had put her life on hold for him. But he couldn't just stay around for that. It wasn't fair to Olivia, and it wasn't fair to him. It wasn't even fair to Mellie, she deserved someone who loved her the way he loved Liv. He feared she wouldn't see it that way though.

His car pulled up to Olivia's building, bringing him out of his thoughts. He was suddenly very aware of his surroundings. Though he and his agents had taken precautions to be discrete, it would be pretty easy to figure out he was here. If word got out, it wouldn't be good. Of course part of him thought about his polling numbers, and part of him thought about Mellie's bid for Senate, but really his concern was with Olivia. If this got out, it could spook her. She could pull away from him. This could all be over, once again, before it even really got started.

Fitz took the elevator up to Olivia's floor. His palms were sweaty and he was clearly nervous . He knew these conversations were coming, but it didn't make them easier. He could negotiate with some of the most frightening world leaders, without batting an eye, but discussing the future with Olivia left his stomach in knots.

His worries evaporated the moment Olivia answered the door. She looked radiant. "You look nice," she observed. Tonight was the first time Fitz took the time to change clothes, instead of heading right over in his suit and tie.

"I thought I'd go casual tonight," he responded playfully.

"I like it, you look relaxed" she told him as she closed the door and made her way over to the couch. She handed him a glass of wine as they sat down. "Did you eat? I had dinner with Quinn, but I can make you something if you're hungry," she offered.

"I'm fine, thanks," he said settling into the couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table. Olivia cuddled up next to him, and they were both struck by how natural it felt. They seemed like such an ordinary couple, coming home, telling each other about their days, having meals together, going to bed together. But, in the back of their minds they were both very aware of just how extraordinary their circumstances were.

Olivia shared her feelings about being back at OPA, and surprised Fitz when she told him it didn't really bother her to have agents around. In fact, she said she was grateful for the level of security their presence brought to her.

As Olivia talked, she noticed how quiet Fitz was. "Is everything, alright, Fitz?" she questioned looking up at him with her big brown eyes.

"I'm just tired. Between things in the oval and the jet lag, I'm really feeling it," he answered purposefully leaving out his apprehension about the conversation he knew he needed to have with her.

"Come on then, lets go to bed." Olivia got up, and reached for his hand, pulling him off the couch.

"Did you want me to stay in the guest room tonight, or with you?" Fitz blurted out on the way down the hallway, not wanting to assume one way or another. He honestly didn't know.

Olivia thought she had been more obvious. She didn't want him sleeping in the guest room anymore, she wanted him sleeping in her bed, in their bed. She wanted to be close to him. Olivia didn't answer, instead she held his hand and pulled him into her room.

They both went about their nightly routine, which had become very comfortable to both of them. Olivia climbed into bed while Fitz stripped down to his boxers, and joined her. They laid next to each other, each on their own sides of the bed, looking directly into each other's eyes. Fitz grabbed Olivia's hand. Tonight he was the one getting misty eyed. The thought that this couldn't keep happening, that he couldn't be with her every night, was killing him.

His emotions were worrying her. She figured if he had something to say, he would tell her, and instead of prompting him, she leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his lips. Fitz melted into the kiss. Her lips were soft and warm. His hand moved up to the back of her neck, and the kiss intensified.

Fitz had been very careful not to push her physically, and as the kissing intensified and as she moved her hands down to the waistband of his boxers, he pulled away. The last thing he wanted was to have her initiating this because he was clearlly upset. That wasn't what this was about. He broke the kiss, sat against the headboard and took a deep breath. Maybe now was the time to have the conversation with Olivia, maybe now was the time to start to gently nudge her into talking about where all this was heading.

"Olivia, we need to talk," Fitz said in a soft but stern voice. Those were not words women liked to hear, and Olivia was no exception. She retreated to her side of the bed, clearly feeling rejected. Immediatly, Fitz realized that he had come across uninterested in her. "Liv, don't do that. It's not about that," he motioned between them with his hands.

She looked unconvinced. "Liv, I want to be with you, I do. But, not like this, I don't want just all these stolen moments", he said trying to calm her. "I just meant we need to talk about where this is headed."

There was a long pause as Fitz tried to convince her with his eyes that it was ok. Eventually, something in Olivia told her just to trust Fitz and listen to him. She scooted up next to him, her head on his chest, which FItz took to be a sign to continue. "We need to figure out how all of this is going to work, how we can move forward"

Olivia sighed, it was so nice to just live in the bubble of her apartment, but Fitz was right, it couldn't be like this forever. It was still just stolen moments, and she wanted more. It was time for more. They both deserved it. But she really didn't know where to begin. "I know," she relented.

"You know I'm not concerned about the optics, Liv. If I was the only one effected, I'd walk up to the podium in the press room and tell every reporter that I'm in love with you, and I have been since the moment I set eyes on you." Fitz stroked her hair as he spoke.

"But I know that's not fair to you, and it's not fair to Mellie. It's selfish of me to even think about doing it that way. We've had plans on how to do this the right way before, I don't know why some version of those plans couldn't work now." The sadness in his voice was unmistakeable.

Closing her eyes tight, Olivia tried to stop the tears. He loved her, and she had put him through so much jerking him around. One minute they had plans to be together, the next minute she was canceling them. It hurt her to do it, but she was seeing now how much it broke his heart every time she sent him away.

"I know," Olivia whispered. It wasn't much of a response, but it was something, and Fitz was grateful for that. He knew even talking about this would be difficult for her.

He squeezed her tight and kissed the top of her head to let her know he appreciated the response. Then Olivia sat up in the same position as Fitz with her back against the headboard. She checked her emotions and went into fixer mode.

Even her tone of voice changed. "You're right, it's time to make a plan and follow through."

Fitz nodded in agreement. "I'm not running for reelection anymore. This is it, the rest of this term, and I'm done."

"I can wait three more years, Fitz." Olivia told him honestly. She'd told him she would wait for him before, she surely could do it now when it was less waiting time then ever before.

"But that's just it, Liv. I can't. I don't want to. I'm not going to." Fitz told her. He wasn't threatening, he obviously wasn't going to leave her. But, he wanted her to know waiting until the end of his term wasn't really an option.

"Then how do you see this working?" Olivia's tone was snarky. Fitz knew it was more her frustration with the situation, and less with him. He was going to have to be very patient with her through all of this, and he knew that. If it was anyone's 'fault' they were in this mess, it was his.

He hated that his presidency had kept them apart. He couldn't stomach the things it had done to his family, to her. If he could go back and stay governor of California, he would have. But even thinking that made him feel guilty. He didn't want to seem ungrateful or disrespectful to the office. No matter how he got there, no matter how he felt about her, he had a place in history.

The presidency wasn't just a job he could quit. It wasn't just a job at all. It was a duty, a service, a calling, and It was part of him. More importantly, he was part of it. He wasn't just Fitz, he was a historical figure, a pillar, a monument, just like everyone said. His life wasn't solely his own anymore. His picture would forever stand along side the other 43 men who had been president. He would be listed with dates and facts and accomplishments. Nobody would know the love of his life was kidnapped, or his marriage to Mellie had always been a political arrangement. That didn't matter to the history books.

History would place him with other men who had led the country through wars and depressions and tragedy. Some of those men had also done great and wonderful things, for their country and for the world. Some of them had royally screwed up, and been the cause of those wars and depressions. But, they had all given up their lives, and a piece of themselves to lead, and nobody would ever really know the sacrifices each and every one of those men had made in order to put the country above themselves. Nobody cared. Those guys weren't people in the history books, they were legacies. For better or for worse, those men had each left a legacy, and Fitzgerald Thomas Grant the Third would be no different.

He didn't just want to be mentioned along with the Jeffersons and Lincolns of this world for his ego. He wanted to be noted for doing something, for change, for leading America into one of its most prosperous times. Not for the recognition, just for making the world a better place. And he knew as much as he wanted that, Olivia did too. Like he said that night in the Rose Garden years ago, if he could escape all this and run away with her, he would. But he couldn't, the office he held didn't allow it. It was bigger than him, than her, than the two of the together. They were at the mercy of the presidency. It was beyond complicated.

"Fitz?" Olivia nudged him pulling him out of his thoughts.

"I have to divorce Mellie, even if I'm still in office-" he started. But she cut him off before he even could complete his thought.

"Absolutely not, there's a million reasons why that's a nonstarter, Fitz" Olivia lectured.

This time he cut her off "why? Because no president has gotten divorced in office before?" He didn't wait for an answer before continuing "No bachelor president had been in office before Buchanan, and no divorced president had been in office before Reagan. Someone has to be the first one. And besides, they can't impeach me for wanting a divorce, Olivia."

Olivia was silent and folded her hands on her lap in front of her. She was sitting with her legs crossed, and everything in her body language was telling Fitz she was closing up. He knew he had to keep talking, or this conversation would be dead.

"Mellie is running for Senate in the special election for the vacant seat that Susan left in Virginia," Fitz told her.

Olivia nodded. She hadn't talked to Fitz about it, as she was avoiding talking about Mellie in general, but she had seen plenty about it on the news. "I think she's going to win, and once she does, we'll let the dust settle and we'll announce the divorce."

Olivia's mind was racing. Her thoughts jumped to post presidency. They were in Vermont. They spent their days together by the fire, holding hands, and taking care of babies, their babies. It was everything she dreamed of.

She needed to back up and think more practical. "But then what, Fitz, you just move Mellie out of the White House and move me in? The public is never going to go for that. This whole thing will become a circus, and nobody will take you seriously. You'll be lucky if congress passes any bills you support, and the next few years all anyone will focus on will be this-us" Olivia motioned her hands between the two of them, clearly exasperated.

"We just need to frame it the right way, Olivia," he was talking softly, trying his best not to get worked up. This was a frustrating conversation, but they needed to have it, and he needed to make sure it didn't go off the rails.

She didn't seem to be listening to him, but he continued anyway. "We'll take this one step at a time. But that first step in any scenario, is ending my marriage. Whether you want to be with me in the long term or not, that has to happen. It's been a long time coming. I think she knows it's heading in that direction - things have been different with us lately, we have this, understanding. She encouraged me to do what I needed to do for you- to get you back home. I'll support her through her Senate election, but after that, we have to move on-"

"I do," Olivia interrupted.

Fitz was confused. "You do what?"

"Want to be with you in the long term," Olivia replied, softening her voice. She finally looked up at him, and he took her hand in his.

"So we're in this together," he said as more of a statement than a question.

Olivia squeezed his hand in agreement.

There was one more conversation he had to have. "There's something else we have tto talk about," he said with his head down. He really didn't want to talk about this, and he didn't know how he could soften this blow for her.

He decided to just drop the bomb. "I can't stay here anymore. At least not this much." He told her sadly. "Not if we want to keep us out of the news."

Tears immediately began to fall from her eyes. Deep down she had been thinking about this too, but she really didn't want to deal with it. She liked Fitz staying over, she needed Fitz to stay over.

He tried to make he feel better. He pulled her close to him, and hugged her tight as she cried on his shoulder. "This just - I can't even- I wish-" Fitz couldn't find the words, he was just stuttering.

She wasn't mad at him, she knew he was right. But the thought of being without him every night was almost more than she could handle. She sobbed and held onto him as tight as she could.

Fitz's heart broke. He hated to see her like this. "We can arrange for you to come to me," he told her trying to console her. "You can stay at Blair House, we can go away to Camp David." After a long pause, he added "We could go to the house."

She wiped her tears and calmed herself down. The house in Vermont. She hadn't asked if he had sold it, but she hoped that he hadn't. Thinking about spending time with Fitz in that house again gave her butterflies. But, she was still sad. Olivia didn't want to see nights like this come to an end. When she loosened her grip on Fitz he excused himself from the room to retrieve something he had for her.

When he returned, he was holding a T-shirt in his hand. He held it up for Olivia to see and she immediately recognized it as his Navy T-shirt. "I brought you this so when I'm not here, you can sleep in it. To feel closer to me. If you want, if you think it will help." Suddenly FItz questioned his gesture. He wasn't sure if it was something she would like, or something that would seem juvenile to her.

"I love it, Fiitz," Olivia whispered as she held out her hands, and took the shirt from Fitz. Tears returned to her eyes. This was going to be really difficult.

"I will call you when you go to bed and when you wake up, and..."Fitz trailed off. He was just babbling now. He wasn't sure if he was trying to make her feel better, or himself. He cuddled up next to Olivia and kissed the top of her head. Finally he just gave up on trying to make the situation sound better. "I'm going to miss this too, Liv," he said quietly to her.

_Sorry it took a bit for this chapter, I have had it written for a few days but I don't love it. I eventually just decided to post it anyway. Hope you guys think it's ok! I appreciate all the love and reviews! Thanks to you all! _


	9. Chapter 9

Before the sun even came up the next morning, Fitz was back in the Oval Office. His schedule was full, but even as he signed the letters on his desk he couldn't focus on anything but Olivia. He had woken her up before he left, not knowing the next time he would be able to wake up next to her. The thought nearly crippled him.

He understood this was going to be a process, and it was going to take time and require as much patience as he could muster. But, that didn't mean he had to like it. What was frustrating him more than anything was all the wasted time of going back and forth. If they had just stuck with any of their previous plans to be together, they would have already made it through to the other side of the metaphorical tunnel. But instead, here they were just heading into the darkness.

Shaking his head, he tried to put those thoughts out of his mind. He was the president, and with that came certain responsibilities. He was angry about just how often he had to remind hiimself of that. Mentally, he needed to toughen up. This was going to be a long road, and he needed to prepare himself to handle the storm that was coming in his personal life and the duties of the presidency simultaneously. There was no getting around that fact.

Still, leaving Olivia that morning was beyond difficult. She clung to him as they engaged in a hug longer and closer than they had in years. It wasn't just him holding on to her, or her to him. It was them holding on to each other, a rarity for them. Being on the same page with Olivia was a welcomed change, but it was so unusual, Fitz couldn't help but worry it would all crumble. It wouldn't be the first time Olivia backed out.

As the sun came up and shone in the windows and across Fitz's desk, Abby and Cyrus made their way to the Oval for their morning briefings. Cyrus was preparing to lobby for votes for the upcoming bill Fitz was desperately trying to pass, and Abby was bringing some questions to the president from the press. After discussing the agenda for the day, Cyrus and Abby gathered their things, and began to head out.

"Abby, could you stay behind for a minute?" Fitz asked.

Cyrus gave a confused, cynical look, and left in a huff. He did not like to be left out of conversations, and it annoyed him endlessly every time he was.

"Of course, Mr. President," Abby replied. As the door closed behind Cyrus, Fitz motioned for her to sit, and Abby took a seat on the couch across from Him,

"Can you look into something for me?" His tone was quiet, and his eyes told Abby this was a personal favor. He wasn't asking the Press Secretary; He was just asking his friend.

"Sure, whatever you need, sir," the redhead replied, having no idea what was coming next, but ready to handle whatever it was.

"Can you find out what this is all about, and where it came from?" Fitz handed her the article about the kidnapping Mellie had brought to his attention yesterday.

Abby's eyes immediately bugged out of her head. She knew how much trouble this was. Not only for the president, and as a result her job; but also for Olivia. Her hands began to tremble, but her voice was steady "Of course, I'll look into it."

Fitz smiled. He knew asking Abby was the right thing to do. He needed to tell Olivia about the article at some point. The secrets, even the ones with the best intentions, had to stop. But, he wanted more information before he brought it to her attention. "Thank you," he told her kindly.

After Abby left, Fitz found himself with five minutes to spare before his meeting with the Secretary of State. Naturally, his first instinct was to call Olivia. Between the talk of his latest bill not having the votes to pass, and showing the article to Abby, Fitz was already tense. It all melted away the minute he heard her voice.

"Four hours, that's some kind of new record," she commented looking at her watch. He had been with her at her apartment just a few hours ago, this was unusually early in the day for Fitz to be calling her.

"I know, just a tense morning," Fitz sighed, turning his swivel chair around towards the windows. Something about looking outside while he talked to her, calmed him. It was like he could forget for just a second where he was.

It wasn't that Olivia ever forgot that Fitz was president. That fact wasn't ever lost on her. But, Fitz didn't often talk about the stress of the job with her. He might ask for her advice, but he always seemed calm and collected. His strength was something she greatly admired. Because of his demeanor, sometimes it slipped her mind just how much weight Fitz was carrying on his shoulders. "I'm just teasing you, Fitz," she replied trying to lighten the mood.

"So how's things at OPA this morning," he asked changing the subject.

"Good. Just some more paperwork. I have a couple of meetings today with perspective clients, you know, the usual politician needing some scandal to be buried," Olivia answered brightly.

"That is what you do best," Fitz smiled into the phone. She really was amazing. She had come so far since she had gotten home. His Liv was strong, and fierce and determined. He was so proud of her.

"We'll see," she remarked. Her tone had changed. Clearly she was feeling the gravity of their situation as well. She had gotten many politicians and prominent figures out of much messier situations, but her confidence when it came to fixing her own personal life was sorely lacking.

"One step at a time," he reminded her. A knock on the door told Fitz it was time to end the call. "I have to go, Liv. I'll call you later, ok?"

"I'll talk to you in an hour, maybe two," she joked back.

After the two hung up, Olivia quickly got back to work. She met with a potential client, a new female Representative from Oklahoma who had an old ex boyfriend claiming to have naked pictures of the congresswoman he was threatening to expose. It was a case she had handled in some variation a million times. She sent Huck and Quinn to look into the ex boyfriend and found herself alone, with only the secret service agent, John, in the office.

The silence of OPA was interrupted mid-afternoon when Olivia heard the dinging of the elevator followed by a familiar voice, "Liv?"

Olivia walked into the hall and came face to face with Jake. She had genuinely felt bad that she had spent the last few weeks avoiding him except for a few stray text messages. Not ready to deal with him or the situation just yet, she had chosen to mostly ignore him.

She didn't really know what to say to him, instead of a greeting, she mustered a weak smile and a small wave.

"It's good to see you back at OPA," Jake said lightly, clearly trying to strike up a conversation.

It wasn't really working though, as Olivia didn't respond.

Jake decided to try again. "It's nice to see things getting back to normal."

Olivia just nodded, even though she was cringing on the inside. Things weren't back to normal. She was carving out an entirely new sense of normalcy, and she hadn't quite pieced together where OPA fit in there yet. Besides that, this new normal wasn't going to include a relationship with Jake, at least not in the capacity he was hoping for.

Knowing she couldn't avoid him forever, she motioned for him to follow her into her office. Olivia closed the door behind her. "Have a seat, I think we need to talk about some things," she told Jake. As much as she didn't want to have this conversation, she owed it to herself, Fitz, and Jake to bite the bullet.

"Uh-oh, this sounds serious," Jake countered. He knew the business like tone of her voice meant something big was coming, and he likely wasn't going to be to happy with whatever it was.

Having a difficult time on where to start, Olivia sat on the opposite side of the brown leather couch as Jake and tried to collect her thoughts. "Jake, I'm really sorry I've been avoiding you," she had decided to lead with an apology.

"I owe you an explanation, I just don't really know what to say," she admitted.

Jake knew where this was headed. He could tell by her body language and her tone of voice. She had chosen Fitz. Jake wasn't surprised. He had driven by her apartment to check on her late at night a few times, and he had seen the secret service hovering. He tried to put it out of his mind, and come up with excuses for it, but the only conclusion he could come to was that Olivia had been with Fitz. Deep down Jake had always known if she had to choose, it wouldn't be him.

Getting the direction of the conversation before it had really even begun, Jake started to get up to leave. "I get it Olivia," he acknowledged angrily.

Olivia motioned for him to sit back down and he obliged. "Jake, I don't want you to leave angry. It's just, my heart is somewhere else," she stated trying to break it to him gently.

"With him?" It wasn't a question Jake needed the answer to. He already knew. If he was being honest, he had always known. Even on the island in Zanzibar, it was clear she was missing Fitz. she would smile, and laugh. She seemed happy, but in the quiet in between moments he could read the look on her face. She was thinking about FItz, she was missing Fitz. He wasn't enough for her, because he wasn't Fitz.

"I know it doesn't make sense, and I know it seems ridiculous," she said looking at her hands refusing to make eye contact. Jake had his flaws, and things weren't always on the up and up with him, but somehow Olivia believed he was a good guy, or that he at least wanted to be a good guy. She did have feelings for him, that wasn't a lie. They clearly had something special, but he wasn't her soul mate. He wasn't FItz. All roads always led back to Fitz. No matter how she felt about Jake, it wasn't the same.

In that moment, she began to focus on her ring from Fitz and tears unexpectedly filled her eyes. "I love him more than I could ever vocalize, Jake. It's not that you and I didn't have a connection. It's just, Fitz is my other half. I feel empty without him, and I feel complete with him." She didn't know where her bravery was coming from, but she was overwhelmed with her feelings and she was trying to articulate them the best way she knew how.

"I want you to be happy," Jake conceited. "If Fitz makes you happy, than he makes you happy." It was a nice sentiment, but his voice was dry and flat.

Olivia looked up and wiped the tears from her eyes. There was a long silence, before Jake shook his head and spoke again. He just couldn't wrap his head around how Olivia and Fitz actually thought they could be together.

"But, I just don't know how you two think that will work," he spat. There it was, he was throwing her fears back in her face.

That was enough, Olivia didn't need to respond to snarky, loaded questions like that. "It's not for you to worry about. I really hope we can be friends, but I understand if that's not something you want," she offered.

Friends, she wanted to be friends. Jake was annoyed at this point. She had clearly felt this way for weeks, maybe months, and she hadn't gotten the courage to tell him this until now. She owed him more than that.

He didn't answer, instead he stormed out without saying a word. Olivia took a deep breath and leaned back into her sofa. Somehow she didn't think this would be the last she would see of Jake, but she had hopes that he would cool down and be level headed about the situation. She wasn't trying to lead him on or hurt him, but she had to finally be honest about her feelings.

For years Olivia had lived her life trying to move on from Fiitz. She didn't believe they could ever actually be together, and so she tried to find that same love in other places. She tried to rekindle things with Edison, and tried to make herself fall in love with Jake. While she had love for them, she was never in love with them. All of that was doomed from the start, because of her love for Fitz, because they weren't him. Olivia could see that now. It seemed so simple and clear.

After Jake left, John poked his head in the door to her office, "Everything alright in here Miss Pope?" he asked concerned. He must have seen Jake storm out, she thought to herself. Olivia was a little embarrassed, but she had to remember John was there for her safety, not to be nosy.

"I'm fine, John, thanks," Olivia assured him. She was shaken by the conversation, but at least it was over. It was one less hurdle out of the way.

He nodded and headed back to his post, and Olivia picked up her phone to call Fitz. She wanted to tell him everything, but then she realized he was probably in meetings. It was hard for her not to call him whenever she needed him, and Fitz would tell her she could call whenever she wanted. But he had more important things to do right now.

Instead she sat there in silence looking around her office. She still couldn't shake the the feeling that being here didn't feel right. Nothing was the same, the fire in her belly just wasn't there anymore. Maybe it was just the argument with Jake that was unsettling her, she thought to herself. Olivia shook her head and tried to forget about her nagging feelings.

She went about the rest of her day in a fog, but getting everything she needed to taken care of. Quinn and Huck stopped back by the office with all the dirt they had found on the exboyfriend, and asked her to dinner. At first Olivia declined. She just wanted to go home. Then it struck her, she wasn't going home to anyone. It would probably be best if she went out with her friends.

_It's a short chapter, I know, but I thought I'd share it anyway, I hope you enjoy! As Always thank you so much for your kind words and sweet reviews! _


	10. Chapter 10

It had been a long, stressful day for Olivia. Between saying goodbye to Fitz, the conversation with Jake, and being back at OPA, she felt overwhelmed. Dinner with Huck and Quinn helped, but as she walked back to her room to get ready for bed, she couldn't help but feel the weight of the day on her shoulders.

As she flipped on her overhead light, she looked around at her room. It felt so empty without FItz there. Her whole apartment felt empty. It was the first night since she had been back that she was spending the night alone. Abby had called to see if Olivia wanted company, but she declined. The agents were there to keep her safe, and she was going to have to do this sometime. Out of the corner of her eye she she spotted Fitz's grey Navy t-shirt with blue lettering folded nicely on top of her dresser. Grabbing the shirt, Olivia headed off to the shower. She could do this.

As she toweled off and pulled the shirt over her head, she inhaled his scent. Fitz had given it to her hoping it would provide even the smallest sense of security and comfort to her, and he had succeeded. She crawled into bed and waited for her phone to ring. She knew as soon as humanly possible, Fitz would be calling her.

He hadn't checked back in after their brief conversation this morning, and she wasn't quite sure what she was going to tell him about her talk with Jake, but he did deserve to know she had talked to him. It was important to Olivia that FItz see her taking steps for them to be together, since she had always been the one to back out every time they had tried this before.

Her phone rang just before eleven, and his deep baritone voice greeted her on the other end. She could tell by his tone, he was clearly exhausted.

"You sound tired," she observed.

"Long day," he responded yawning. He was still in the Oval Office, even though most of the staff had gone home. Fitz was acutely aware of how much had been sacrificed so that he could be president, and he had felt a great responsibilities to honor those sacrifices by working long hours. Between his demanding schedule and Olivia he was running himself into exhaustion.

Olivia felt bad, she didn't want him calling her out of an obligation to check up on her. She didn't want it to be one more thing on the laundry list that was FItz's to-do list.

"We can talk in the morning," Olivia told him trying to hide her disappointment.

Panic washed over Fitz, he was tired, but he absolutely wanted to stay up a little longer and talk. He had been looking forward to it all day. "Please don't go, I want to hear about your day, I missed you," he said sheepishly.

"I missed you too," she admitted. Fitz knew by her tone, he could settle in, so he poured himself a scotch, loosened his tie, and put his feet up on the resolute desk.

Olivia went on to tell him about her dinner with Huck and Quinn, and her day at OPA. But she had left out the part about Jake, she didn't want to discuss things like that over the phone, but she would probably not have a choice. Phones were going to be their primary source of communication for awhile.

Not wanting to think about how to tell him anymore, Olivia blurted out, "I talked to Jake today."

Fitz was surprised and his facial expressions showed it. He knew she would have to talk to Jake, but he hadn't pushed her, and he was sort of shocked she took the initiative to do it without prompting. "Oh yea, How'd that go?" Fitz asked, genuinely wanting to know.

"I don't really know. I mean he seemed like he knew it was coming, but he ended up storming out," Olivia sighed, recalling the day's events.

Wanting to encourage her, Fitz offered his support, "it's good you talked to him, no matter the outcome, Liv. We're making progress, taking steps." He didn't want to sound too happy about something he knew was so difficult for her, but he was secretly thrilled.

After she had gotten that off her chest, Olivia's day was catching up to her as well. "I'm getting pretty sleepy, FItz," she yawned.

Sensing the conversation was coming to en end, Fitz felt the need to express his feelings. It might have been the scotch or the exhaustion, but his walls were down. "I hate that I'm not with you tonight, Liv. It's killing me."

He sounded so sad. Olivia felt the same way, but right now this was the way it had to be. Fitz didn't need anything from her in that moment but her understanding and patience.

"I know, me too," she choked out, holding back the tears. "I put on your navy shirt though, and that helped," she offered. She could hear Fitz smile through the phone.

Olivia hadn't planned on telling him what she was sleeping in, but she thought it might make him feel better. "I'll call you if I need you," she assured him. Her eyelids were heavy.

"Ok. I love you," he said not even thinking. He had avoided using those words too much, not wanting it to freak her out. He almost couldn't believe the slip. But before he even had the chance to back pedal, his mind was put at ease.

"I love you too," she whispered. His heart leapt at the sound of her voice saying those words. But before he could say or do anything else, she had hung up.

He held the phone in his hand against his ear for another minute before he finally hung it up.

Then, Fitz looked around his office and took a deep breath. As hard as it was to be away from Olivia, it was a necessary evil right now. This office was important, he couldn't forget that. He was sitting in the same place so many other presidents had sat, and that wasn't lost on him. He was a part of history.

The Oval was only lit by the lamp on his desk, but he could see perfectly clearly. The room was crowded with his personal memories. Teddy had played on the floor, Karen and Jerry had sat on the couches to do their homework. Then there was Olivia, they had a history here, a complicated and messy history, but it was their love story for better or for worse.

His eyes shifted to the portraits on the wall. Most presidents chose Lincoln or Washington. They seem like the obvious choices. But when asked what president Fitz wanted on the wall he went with FDR. Not only did Fitz have political aspirations that aligned with the beliefs of the 32nd president, but he couldn't ignore the similarities in their personal life.

Fitz obviously didn't have polio, and he wasn't much for dogs, but their marriages seemed to be eerily similar. Eleanor was a smart woman, she revolutionized the office of the First Lady. Had it been a different time, she probably would have run for office herself. But, her marriage eventually evolved into one of political convenience. Beyond that, it appeared that FDR spent his life in love with another woman, a woman who was not his wife.

Fitz would have eight years as president, not just over twelve, but either one felt like eternity when you couldn't be with the person you loved. After years of being apart but corresponding by letters, Lucy and president Roosevelt snuck away for a trip to see each other in Georgia. But fate would not be kind to them, and that same trip FDR had a cerebral hemorrhage and died. Lucy and Franklin never had the chance to be together.

Fitz chose that portrait as a reminder. A reminder not to let that happen to him and Olivia. A reminder that life is short, and it could end at any moment. A reminder not to be FDR and Lucy.

But to the press, he chose that portrait because the country needed a new direction, a new deal. The public and the press would never know he chose it because of Lucy, because of Olivia. It was all so ironic, but that portrait always made him smile. It was like his own little inside joke.

Fitz sighed, pulled his feet off the Oval Office desk, turned off his lamp and headed up to the residence, he would be back in a few short hours to do it all over again.

Days passed and Olivia and Fitz fell into a routine. They both filled their days with work, but they would call each other every morning. Sometimes Fitz would find a spare second in his day, and if he did, he would call to see how she was. The conversations were always brief, but just hearing each other's voices made getting through the day a little easier.

Fitz called Olivia every night before bed too, but he had abandoned talking to her in the Oval, and instead would wait until he was in his bedroom. A few times they had left their phones on speaker phone all night, just to make it feel more like they were together. It was hard on both of them, and eventually FItz had enough.

It was mid-afternoon when Olivia's phone rang. She almost never heard from Fitz this time of day, a worried Olivia picked up immediately. "Is everything ok, Fitz?"

Fitz sighed, his patience for being without Olivia had run out. "Not really, Liv." He didn't wait for her to respond before he continued. "I need to be with you, I need to see you. I need to kiss you."

Olivia didn't know what to say. In the silence, Fitz went on, "it's just been a long day, and I miss you." His voice sounded defeated.

It had been six days since they had seen each other. He was exhausted, a result of having a hard time sleeping without her. He just wanted a good nights sleep with Olivia in his arms.

"I don't know if it's such a great idea for you to come to my place though, Fitz. Nothing has changed since last week." In actuality something had changed, Olivia had gotten more paranoid about the press reporting anything about her relationship with FItz. She almost couldn't believe she had let him come over so many nights in a row without really considering the consequences.

Fitz let out a sigh. He was clearly not pleased with her answer. "How about the Blair house?" Olivia proposed.

"The German chancellor is staying there," Fitz informed her. the chancellor was supposed to be gone yesterday, but her visit was being extended, leaving the BLair house unavailable to Fitz.

He was getting desperate. "Just come to the White House, Liv ." His voice was pleading with her.

"What about Mellie," Olivia said cooly. She couldn't believe he was even asking her to come to the White House when Mellie was there.

"Honestly, Liv, she spends all her time in another wing of the residence" Olivia didn't like the answer, something Fitz could tell by the light scoff he heard on the other end of the line. "It's a big place," he reasoned. "And she won't care anyway."

Olivia was not buying it. They had avoided the topic of Mellie, in all their conversations over the last few days. But part of Olivia had been expecting to hear something about Mellie ever since She had told Fitz about her talk with Jake. Now was as good of time as any to approach the subject with Fitz. "Have you talked to Mellie yet?" Olivia asked, trying her best not to sound like she was annoyed or nagging.

Fitz knew this was coming. He had every intention of sitting down with Mellie and laying out his plan, but every night by the time he got up to the residence, she was either already in bed, or up working on her campaign and didn't want to be bothered. Besides that, by that time of night, Fitz just wanted to lay in bed and hear Olivia's voice. He knew those were all just excuses, and that Olivia wouldn't want to hear any of them, but he offered them up anyway. "No" he mumbled. "I haven't exactly had the chance."

Now Olivia found herself slightly annoyed. Nothing was moving, no wheels had been in motion, no steps had been taken. "Well, it sounds like you have plenty of time on your hands tonight," she said in a snarky tone. Olivia's annoyance was coming through loud and clear.

Fitz decided it was best to wave the proverbial white flag. "Ok, I will talk to her," he conceited. "But then you have to promise me that I'll get to see you soon". Fitz wanted at least the promise he would see her soon. It might help ease the sting of her absence if he at least knew when he could wrap his arms around her again.

Olivia's tone softened "I promise."

_Another short chapter, I know. I like writing Olivia and Fitz together much better than apart, but It'll get back to that eventually. I do have plans for where this is all headed and all the things you guys have mentioned in your reviews, so stay tuned! _


	11. Chapter 11

That night Fitz headed up to the residence early. He had cleared his schedule in the hopes of seeing Olivia, but that was off the table now. His feet drug along the red carpet of the stairs as he walked up them, dreading what was to come. She was right, he had to talk to Mellie. He couldn't put it off any longer. Olivia was giving him the push he needed, just as he had been pushing her these last few weeks.

As he turned the handle to the double glass doors to head into the residence, he took a deep breath. He stepped inside and set off to find Mellie. The residence was large, with too many rooms that nobody ever used. Lately, he had been thankful of it's size, as it seemed him and Mellie were hardly ever crossing paths. While Fitz felt privileged to live in the historic building, he never felt at home here. It wasn't his ranch in California, and it certainly wasn't the house in Vermont.

He finally found her in one of the sitting rooms. She was surrounded by paperwork of polls and data. Mellie was taking her Senate run extremely seriously. If Fitz thought she would do anything to be First Lady, he hadn't seen anything yet.

He knocked softly on the open door. "Mel, do you have a minute?" He asked, his words clearly startling her. She was so engrossed in her work, she hadn't heard Fitz approaching.

Mellie smiled brightly and looked around her. "I'm really just in the middle of all of this FItz. The latest polls suggest that I have a lead, but I'm not polling well with the lower class." Mellie's tone was pleased and upbeat. In all honesty, Fitz had never seen her this excited. She she was thrilled when he was inaugurated, but this was a whole other level for her. She was loving this.

Mellie looked up at FItz, and noticed his serious expression. She dropped the data in her hands to her lap and conceded. "Ok, we can talk," she said as she patted the couch next to her.

Fitz walked across the room and sat down, he didn't really know where to begin.

"Is this about Olivia?" Mellie asked, sensing the tension in the room.

"Yes, and no," Fitz mumbled looking down into his hands. His posture was terrible, as he sat hunched over rubbing his hands together. He was going to need to get a backbone to talk to her about this. He would have to tell Mellie clearly and concisely what his plans were, and he would have to stick to them. He wasn't letting Olivia push him away this time, and he wasn't going to let Mellie push him around. He was a determined man, and he needed to act like it.

He sat up straight, looked her in the eyes, and changed his tone. "Mellie, I appreciate everything you've done for me. I know you've dealt with a lot over the years, and it isn't that I'm not grateful."

Mellie was fully aware he was softening her up. "Get to it, Fitz. I really have a lot of work to do." She clearly was not pleased with where the conversation was headed, but sounded more annoyed than anything. She just wanted to get back to her campagin.

"I can't do this anymore, Mel," he told her honestly. He felt terrible saying it, but that was the truth. Olivia or not, this marriage had taken a toll on both of them. It had become one of political convenience, and it had made him feel trapped. He needed out.

"Fitz, you know I don't care if you see her, it's fine. I just didn't want you going to her apartment, and I didn't want you to lie to me about it. Go to Camp David, or the Blair House. Bring her here if you have to, I'm sure the secret service will make sure she isn't seen." Mellie answered casually.

The way Mellie spoke, gave Fitz chills. She was so matter of fact about it, she really didn't care. But it was also so screwed up. His wife was telling him to bring the woman he was in love with into their home. Despite their arrangement, it felt wrong. "It's not just seeing her, Mellie. I want to be with her. And even if I didn't..." Fitz trailed off. He needed to adjust his words, to think very carefully about how to present all of this to his wife.

He didn't want to make this about Olivia. As much as he wanted to be with her, to be married to her, to live in Vermont and have babies with her, that wasn't why he needed to divorce Mellie. He needed to do it because they had no business being married, Olivia or not. Their marriage was cold, distant, dead, just like Olivia had noted years ago, and that hadn't changed.

"We can't stay like this, Mellie. We need to finally end this. People weren't meant to be married to advance each other's careers. I don't know how we ended up here, but we haven't been married for love in over a decade, Mellie. If we ever were." He cringed at his words. Perhaps he should have stopped while he was ahead.

Mellie rolled her eyes. "Are we really having this conversation again?" She asked sarcastically.

"It's the last time we're having it," Fitz said with a steady voice, looking her directly in the eyes. He wasn't trying to be mean, he was just standing his ground.

He cleared his throat. "I will stay by you for this Senate Race. I don't want to ruin this for you. But once you win, I am going to file for divorce." Fitz was clear, this was happening.

Mellie stood up, and stormed across the room and then began pacing back and forth. Fitz felt like he could see steam coming out of her ears. She was clearly angry. "That'll derail my whole career, Fitzgerald! Are you kidding me with this right now? I have stood by you, I have done EVERYTHING to make you who you are, and just when it's my turn, you're going to bail for that whore?" Mellie was fuming. Her words were sharp, and her eyes were wild.

Fitz felt rage, and the second she referred to Olivia as a whore, he wanted to yell and argue. He wanted to tell Mellie she may have been there, but she didn't make him. He made himself, and she was there for the ride. She wanted to be FIrst Lady, and she got it. But, Fitz needed to control the situation. Yelling and arguing his perception of their life together was not going to make anything better.

"Can we please just sit down, and talk about this?" Fitz asked calmly. Mellie, shocked by his composure, pouted and sat down next to him without saying another word.

"We will get you elected to the Senate, Mellie. But then we have to file the paperwork," he reiterated.

"And just like that my dream for the presidency is gone?" her tone was still very argumentative.

Fitz couldn't take it anymore. Yes, maybe she wouldn't be president because of this, but maybe she wouldn't be president anyway. It annoyed him how easy she seemed to think getting elected to the presidency was. She acted like it was a forgone conclusion that if he stayed with her, they could get back in the White House. When in reality, the chances of that we're so slim. Then, what would they even be staying together for? It would all be a waste. Of course he couldn't tell Mellie that. He would have to frame it another way.

"Look Mellie, we need to be realistic about this. You will probably win the Senate seat, and that's great, it's amazing. It's a huge accomplishment," he told her not wanting to downplay her accomplishment and trying to soften her attitude.

"But the presidency isn't going to come so easy. You can't run when I'm done, not if you want to win. You just won't have the political resume for it. A couple of years in the Senate is not enough." Someone had to be honest with her. But her eyes were shooting daggers at FItz, and he knew she was not pleased with the direction of this conversation.

"I am not saying it can't ever happen, but you have to have patience," he finished.

"Patience?! I've sat by for years and watched Fitzgerald Grant, the golden boy get everything, while I've gotten nothing. It's my turn!" She argued again. Her childish behavior about the situation, coupled with her stubbornness was testing FItz's restraint. He got up and began to pace the room. He couldn't sit anymore. He needed some distance from Mellie.

"It doesn't work like the, Mellie. You don't just get to be president because it's your damn turn. You work for it, you earn it. And you haven't earned it yet," he told her point blank.

She sat back in her seat, slouched with her arms crossed, and looked up at him with hate in her eyes. "Because you earned it?" She spat.

The insinuation of Defiance nearly sent him over the edge. But he knew she was doing that to push his buttons. He knew she was trying to worm her way out of what this conversation was really about and get him angry enough to storm out in order to end the whole thing. He wasn't going to do that.

Instead he ignored her comment, and continued. "Someday you might earn it, and I will support you, and I will endorse you. I will go on the trail for you, I will never speak ill of you. But, I will not be married to you, Mellie."

Fitz was crystal clear with his statement. She could tell he wasn't going to let this go. Her wheels were turning though, and Fitz could tell the plotting had begun by the simultaneous look of panic and deep thought on her face.

He decided to address it head on. "There's no plotting, Mellie. This is happening. You can fight it, and things will get messy and ugly. We will both come out looking terrible, you know how that works. It won't matter to me, because I'm not the one who needs the public behind me anymore. But it will derail any chance you have of becoming president."

Mellie knew he was right about that part. She had already gone on TV once before to air their dirty laundry and had to deal with the backlash. Victim or not, she was attacked. If he was really determined to do this, and she fought it, they'd both become tabloid jokes, and it would kill her career. There was a reason she told Fitz to make sure he wasn't seen at Olivia's, and it wasn't for his approval ratings, or Olivia's privacy.

All her threats of ruining him, of spilling his secrets, were empty now. She knew it, and Fitz knew it. Ruining him would bring her down too, and she wasn't prepared to do that. Her hatred for Olivia and Fitz was oversshadowed by her desire for power, her desire to be President.

She was angry at him for putting her in this position. It didn't seem fair, or right, but Mellie was quickly realizing over the years she had lost her leverage, her worth to him. She had helped him get here, but this was it, the top of the mountain. There was no where else to take him. Nothing more for her to achieve. She might have big dreams and aspirattions, but his had already been achieved. The worst she could do to him was put a small stain, a footnote on his legacy, but her career would be over before it began. Mellie knew she was powerless to stop this.

"So that's it then, you're just screwing me over?" All she had left was to play on his guilt.

But Fitz was not having it. "I will do what I can for your political aspirations Mellie, and I will always be the father of your kids. But, this marriage has to be over. Doesn't it concern you that your reasoning for refusing a divorce is for your career? Not that we love each other, not that we should try and work on things, but because you have political dreams?" Fitz almost felt sorry for her. She didn't have a love like he had in Olivia. She didn't know how it felt to want to be with someone so bad your heart ached for them.

Mellie didn't answer. He could tell she was still thinking of ways to get out of this whole ordeal, but that she was coming up empty. He could tell she was going to come to the conclusion she had no options, and would have to agree to an amicable divorce.

"You can stay in the White House," Fitz told her.

"What?" She responded clearly confused.

"After the divorce, during it, whenever. I'm not going to kick you out. This place is plenty big enough. But if you'd feel more comfortable one of us can stay in the Blair house," he was getting into the logistics.

It was too much for Mellie to process. "Ok," she said looking back down at her polls. She just wanted this conversation to be over. She wasn't completly giving up, but she didn't feel like she had any other option but to agree with Fitz right now.

"Ok what, Mellie?" Fitz asked. He wanted clarification.

"Ok, I'll sign whatever papers you need me to." She was dejected and defeated. Fitz felt bad, but her tone wasn't a result of the end of her marriage, instead it was at the prospect of her political career being over before it began.

"Now, can I get back to work?" She said, her voice returning to normal.

Fitz said nothing else, crossed the room and walked out of the door, closing it behind him.

As he walked down the hall, He let out a sigh of relief. He knew it wouldn't be the end of this, but it was a start. One step closer, he thought to himself.


	12. Chapter 12

Fitz had the whole night left ahead of him, but he didn't think calling Olivia right away was the best course of action. He really wanted to talk to her in person, but she'd never agree to come out to the White House tonight, and the last thing Fitz wanted to do was go over to Olivia's and set off Mellie. He knew he was on thin ice with her, and all it took was one bad day, a wrong turn in a conversation, one misstep, and it would send her over the edge. She might have agreed to Fitz's plan for now, but he wasn't naive enough to believe this would be the end of it.

So, Fitz opted to head down to Teddy's room instead. It was nearing his bedtime, but Fitz could probably make it in time to read him a story and cuddle his baby boy to sleep. Fitz opened the door quietly, not wanting to disturb his son's bedtime routine. But, it his efforts were futile. As soon as the toddler saw his father he yelled "daddy!" and burst out from under his covers, running to Fitz. The little brown eyed boy hugged his fathers leg.

It would have been a lovely moment, but the nanny was clearly perturbed. She had been trying to get Teddy to bed for 45 minutes, to no avail. Just when she thought she was winning the bedtime battle, Fitz entered the picture. But, she couldn't or wouldn't voice her frustrations, not to the president of the United States. Instead she smiled. "Good evening, sir," she said brightly.

"Hey Emma," he replied, clearly less formal than she had been. "You can go ahead and take off, I've got it from here," he told her while picking Teddy up into his arms. Emma had forgotten how much easier President Grant was to deal with than the First Lady. Emma smiled, ruffled Teddy's hair and said goodnight to the president. She wasn't going to argue having the rest of the night off.

As soon as she was gone, Fitz directed his attention to the little boy in his arms, who wasn't so little anymore. He was growing up so fast, and Fitz was missing it. Everyone talked about the sacrifices Mellie had made, or Olivia had made. But he had made them too.

Instead of having his family around, Teddy was being raised by nannies and the White House staff. It just felt like his family had fallen apart. Mellie was only attentive to the kids when it seemed to serve her political aspirations; despite Karen's protests to stay in D.C., she had been sent back to boarding school; Fitz didn't have enough hours in the day to be around as much as he liked; and Teddy would never remember his big brother Jerry, except for the stories he was told.

That thought broke Fitz's heart, and his eyes began to fill with tears. He had lost so much. This presidency had taken so much from him. He tried to keep himself from going down the rabbit hole of guilt, but it was extremely difficult not to succumb to the darkness. He blinked back his tears and directed his focus back to his son in his arms.

"Can daddy read you a bedtime story, buddy?" He asked. He loved to read stories to Karen and Jerry when they were little, he made sure to do it every night. Teddy wasn't afforded the same privileges. The little boy nodded and clapped. Fitz set him down, and he ran in his footie pajamas over to his bookshelf to retrieve some books.

An hour later Fitz sat slouched on a large blue chair, with his feet propped up on the coordinating ottoman surrounded by books, a sleeping Teddy laying against his chest. Fitz's hand rubbed up and down the boys back while the soft sound of his snores filled the air. These were the moments parents cherish, and Fitz knew more than anyone how fleeting these moments were.

As Fitz's eyes closed, his thoughts drifted. He may have missed out on moments with Olivia, and that killed him. But he was missing out on so many moments with his children too. Worse than that, his kids were missing out on moments with their dad. Mellie wasn't a terrible parent. She had her moments with the kids where she was understanding and loving, but ultimately she just didn't know how to be emotionally there for them. It wasn't her fault, he knew that before they had kids, and he pushed her into it anyway. Mellie only agreed because every good politician needs to have a few kids running around. If they wanted to be in the White House they needed the perfect family portrait.

As Fitz sat there, rubbing his sons back, he realized so much needed to change. It wasn't just his situation with Olivia, it wasn't just his availability to his kids, he needed to change. He needed to have a backbone, he needed to follow through on his promises, and his threats.

He decided then to make bedtime a priority with Teddy, even if he just came up to read one story, tuck him in, and go back to the Oval. As for Karen, if she truly wanted to come home from boarding school, it was time to make that happen. There were plenty of good schools for her in D.C.

Fitz felt his phone in his pocket vibrate. Only one person would be calling him. He gathered Teddy in his arms and carried him over to his bed. The little boy stirred slightly, but quickly snuggled into his bed as Fitz pulled the covers over him. bending over, he kissed his son's forehead and quietly snuck out of the room. As he closed the door behind him, Fitz pulled his phone from his pocket. He had missed a call from Olivia.

Olivia sat on her couch, drumming her fingers against her wine glass with one hand, holding the phone with the other. Their last conversation was weighing on her mind, and now he wasn't picking up the phone. Her heart was aching to spend time with Fitz, and she worried she made the wrong decision by turning down his invitation to come to the White House. Her phone rang, bringing her out of her thoughts.

She quickly picked up. "Hi," she answered.

"Hi," he replied. One word, two letters, that's all it took for each of them to know this conversation was going to take on a very different tone than the last one.

"I'm just calling because I didn't like the way our conversation went last time," she said nearly ashamed. It was still so hard for her to be so open and honest with her feelings. It was still very much a work in progress.

"No, don't be sorry, you were right." Fitz didn't want to talk about the details of his conversation with Mellie over the phone, but he wanted Olivia to know he was listening to her concerns.

Olivia didn't want to pry, and she didn't want to seem like she was nagging him. "I miss you," she said honestly, avoiding the subject of Mellie, his evening, or their last conversation.

Fitz ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "I miss you too, Liv. So much." There was a long pause, neither one of them seemed to know how to proceed.

"I was thinking about, maybe, bringing Karen home," he told her breaking the silence.

Knowing how much Fitz was against boarding school in the first place, Olivia was surprised this hadn't been brought up sooner. "If she wants to be home, Fitz, I think that's a great idea." Of course Olivia's first thoughts were how happy the situation would make Karen and Fitz, but the fixer in her also thought it would be much better for Karen if she were at the White House over the next few months. The press was on a leash there, and they wouldn't be able to go at the story by involving Karen.

"I haven't talked to Mellie about it yet," he said without thinking. He was trying to avoid brining up the subject of Mellie, and now he had done just that. He tried to cover it up by continuing, "But I think it would be best for everyone."

Olivia was quiet, and as much as FItz didn't want to have this conversation over the phone, he also didn't want to make her uncomfortable by avoiding the topic. "I talked to her tonight, Liv," Fitz finally told her after a long awkward silence. When he got no response from the other end of the phone, he continued. "She knows what I want, and she knows the time table for how much longer I'm willing to play this charade."

"That's good, Fitz. It's a step." Olivia's attitude was defeatist. Fitz could tell the tone behind her words meant something else entirely. Olivia would only believe it when she saw it.

Their conversation had been awkward. It was choppy with huge moments of silence mixed in, and Olivia was ready to be done with it. "I'll talk to you tomorrow," she abruptly told him, before hanging up. Fitz didn't get the chance to say another word.

The next morning when Cyrus and Abby came in to discuss the morning briefing, Fitz was completely unfocused. He had something else on his mind, he was rattling through thoughts of what Mellie might be up to, replaying his conversation with Olivia back in his head, and figuring out how to juggle his schedule to spend more time with the kids. It was just too much. But, he didn't have a choice, he was President. This was the day mapped out for him. He had to focus.

As the two of them rattled through the agenda, they could tell he wasn't paying attention. "Sir, is everything alright?" Abby finally asked.

"Mellie has to win," he announced, completely off topic, avoiding eye contact with either of them. He began to pace back and forth in front of his desk, while Abby and Cyrus looked on from the couches. "She has to win," he reiterated.

"I'm sorry, what?" Cyrus wanted clarification. He had been against Mellie running for office, but he had also kept his mouth shut about his feelings. Cyrus, however, wasn't the best at hiding his displeasure, and it was well known he wasn't a fan of Mellie the candidate.

"The Senate Race, she has to win," Fitz reiterated.

"And why exactly does she HAVE TO win?" Cyrus asked. He sounded like a parent about to scold their child for disrespecting them.

"Because, if she doesn't win, then she won't have anything to lose, and if she doesn't have anything to lose, than she is going to become a very dangerous threat to this administration." Fitz's voice boomed across the Oval Office.

He was framing it in a way so Cyrus would get on board, implying if Mellie didn't win she would spill their secrets. He really didn't know if she would or not. But, it was better not to find out. More importantly Fitz needed her to have something to lose so he could be with Olivia, so that his plan would work.

Abby had been quiet, so Fitz turned to her point blank and said "I'm divorcing her once she wins. She HAS to win, though." He was pleading with Abby to do whatever she could to ensure a Mellie Grant victory.

"Understood," the redhead replied confidently.

Cyrus, meanwhile, was fuming. "This again? You can not be serious?"

"It's time to get on board Cyrus, this is happening. Mellie wins the election, I get a divorce, and the Olivia and I -" Fitz trailed off. He may have filled Cyrus in here and there about his feelings for Olivia, but he knew Cyrus didn't approve.

"It's happening," Fitz stated with resolve. He was firm in his decision.

Cyrus gathered his things and stormed out in a huff. Abby, however, remained. Fitz, clearly exhausted from everything going on in his personal life, took a seat on the now empty couch.

"Sir?" She said trying to get Fitz's attention. When he turned toward her and Abby knew she has his attention, she cleared her throat. Now she was the one up and pacing the room, clutching onto her paperwork as though it were a life raft. She had been dreading this.

"That blog, that article about Olivia-" Abby paused as Fitz nodded for her to continue "as best as Huck and Quinn could tell, well, sir, they, well, they say it came from ...Jake." She was fumbling over her words.

Abby could immediately see the rage in the presidents eyes. But it wasn't just rage, it was betrayal and sadness, too. "Are they sure?" He questioned her.

"Yes, sir, they are," she confirmed. Fitz looked away, clearly reeling. Abby suddenly felt very awkward and excused herself. As her hand was turning the doorknob, she heard the sound of Fitz's voice. He was pleading with her again. "Mellie has to win, Abby, she has to."

"I know, Fitz," she said looking at the man sitting on the couch clearly in shock. He was telling her as a friend now, not as a boss. Abby's use of his first name confirmed she understood that, and as his friend, she was going to do everything she could for him. With that, Abby left the room, leaving Fitz to his thoughts.

Fitz sat there his head back, his eyes closed. How could Jake do such a thing? Did he not know all he was jeopardizing? Beyond that, could he not see how much trouble leaking the story could cause Olivia? Did he not care? Why would he of all people do this? Was it out of spite? Out of jealousy? He sat there, his mind racing.

But the longer he sat there, the more confused he got. Coming up empty on any reason why, Jake would have leaked that information, Fitz realized he wasn't going to get answers sitting there wallowing, besides that, he had work to do.

Hands in his pockets, he got up, crossed the room and looked out the window to the Washington Monument. It was a view he never got tired of. He gave himself a pep talk. Despite all he had on his plate, he knew he could handle it. He just needed to take it one step at a time.

Fitz took a deep breath and sat down at his desk. He would have to deal with all of this later. In the meantime, he had a stack of paperwork on his desk that needed his attention. Sitting on the very top of the pile was the FIrst Lady's schedule. Fitz looked it over and smiled.

"That might work," he said out loud to an empty room.

I_ know it's been awhile, it's just been a busy week for me! I hope you all enjoy this chapter. It might not be the most exciting, but it is going places. I hate how the kids hardly ever get mentioned on the show, I'm not saying they should be front and center, but if you wrote them there in the first place, you should at least acknowledge they are part of the story. I really debated on if the whole Jerry storyline should stay true in my story, but if I was truly picking up off where the story was when I started it, then I felt like I should include it. _

_I'll try and get the next _chapter up sooner. As always, thanks for the reviews and the kind encouraging words! Xoxo


	13. Chapter 13

Olivia tossed and turned all night, her conversation with Fitz had left her uneasy. She should have called him back; she really didn't want to push him away. That may have been what was comfortable for her, but it wasn't a path she wanted to go down again.

The morning came too soon, and it seemed just as she was dozing off from sheer exhaustion, the alarm was blaring. Begrudgingly, Olivia rolled out of bed and got ready for work, she greeted John in the hallway, and the two headed off to the offices of OPA, sharing their usual morning pleasantries and conversation.

Having an agent was becoming common practice for Olivia. She had thought about asking Fitz when they were going to stop watching her, and then she realized the answer was likely never. As the love of the presidents life, she needed just as much protection as if she were the actual First Lady. She was starting to realize how reckless she had been before. Fitz had offered her agents, and she had refused. If only she hadn't, Olivia thought to herself. This time Fitz wasn't offering, he was telling her, and she knew it was for the best.

Things at OPA weren't clicking with Olivia, and everyone could tell. She just didn't have the same fire and drive. Huck and Quinn were worried about her, but thought maybe she just needed time to adjust back to normal life. As time went on and not much seemed to change, their theory became much less valid. Olivia was turning down clients, and seemed uninterested in the cases that were brought to her. She knew that she had to talk to Huck and Quinn. This just wasn't working for her anymore.

"Huck! Quinn! Can I see you in my office," Olivia called out as she stepped off the elevator. She had brought coffee and danishes with her hoping it would soften the blow. A minute later they both appeared looking concerned, but unsurprised.

John took his post in the hall and three of them shuffled into Olivia's office. Huck and Quinn took a seat on the couch, grabbing their coffees and bracing themselves for what was to come.

Knowing she just needed to spit it out, before she lost her courage, Olivia wasted no time. "I don't want to do this anymore," she announced motioning at her office.

Quinn wasn't oblivious, she had seen this coming, but for some reason she was still asking for clarification. "What exactly can't you do?" She wasn't angry, she was concerned.

Olivia sighed, and sat down next to her friends on the couch. She wasn't going to avoid this, she was going to face this head on. Huck and Quinn had done anything and everything for her, she owed it to them to explain this the best she could. "OPA...Fixing...I just don't have the same fire in my gut for it. And without that, I'm not the fixer I was. This isn't what I want my life to be anymore."

Olivia's eyes were filling with tears. The thought of not coming to work here anymore, with her friends, was sad. But she couldn't keep doing all of this just for them. She had to do things for herself. She had walked away from Fitz before for them, she had given up chances to live a normal life for them. But, she had also left them high and dry before, and she didn't want to do that either. The new Olivia was facing her feelings and her problems. She wasn't running from them, and she wasn't apologizing for them,

Quinn nodded and hugged her friend. She suspected it was only a matter of time. She was prepared for this, but tears still streamed down her cheeks. Saying goodbye to OPA was going to be difficult.

Huck wasn't shocked, either. "It's ok to let this go, Liv," he choked out. He was getting emotional too. This had been his home, but since Kim and Javi were back in his life, he didn't need it in the same capacity anymore. Above all else, he wanted Olivia to be happy.

"Of course, I'll make sure you guys have whatever you need, and I will find you jobs, whatever you want, whatever you need," Olivia explained, sniffling, wiping her tears. She didn't want them to worry about being unemployed.

Huck shook his head. "You don't need to do that, Liv. I have plenty of money, and we all know I'm not suited for any desk job." He hugged Olivia and left without saying anything else.

"We'll be fine, Liv," Quinn assured her as she gave Olivia's should a squeeze and left Olivia's office.

Now sitting alone, in a kind of shock, Olivia looked around. She would need to pack all of this up. Years worth of cases and memories, both good and bad. The office was haunted with ghosts of her past, and ghosts of her friends. The whole prospect was a daunting, but it was a task that could wait until tomorrow. She just wanted to go home and curl up on the couch.

She grabbed her bag and headed back out to the hall. "Leaving already?" John asked. Olivia just nodded and the two headed out. The whole thing had gone much smoother than Olivia had pictured. But in reality, there wasn't much to say, or much explaining to do. Everyone had seen the writing on the wall. OPA hadn't really been the same since she had left with Jake. If she was being honest, they had become so consumed with B6-13 that they hadn't really been functioning as OPA in over a year. She was tired, and it was time. She needed to stop fighting everyone else's fight, and fight her own.

Meanwhile, Fitz spent the day in his usual meetings and briefings with a few meet and greets thrown in for good measure. He needed to look over some reports, but it was nearing Teddy's 7:30 bedtime and Fitz was determined to read to his son and tuck him in. He'd make a trip up to the residence, and then come back to the Oval to finish up his work and sneak in his nightly call to Olivia.

On his way back down to the west wing, Fitz passed Mellie in the sitting room, once again surrounded by campaign data. He had some things to discuss with her, and there was no time like the present. He poked his head in the door. "Hey, Mel, how are the polls looking today?" He asked, clearly softening her up.

Mellie didn't seem to mind. In fact, she seemed delighted he asked. "Good, good, they have me up a couple of points."

"Do you have a few minutes? I want to run some things by you." Fitz sat down in the chair next to her and leaned back, crossing his legs out in front of him.

"Oh, I suppose," she agreed. Mellie knew he would press until she agreed anyway, and she wanted to save the time.

"First of all, I talked to Abby and Cyrus, we have some ideas for your campagin. I think the four of us should schedule a meeting to discuss it." Fitz had planned out very carefully how to begin this conversation, and he knew she would relish the idea of a campaign meeting in the Oval. It would be a good lead-in.

"That's wonderful, Fitz! We should schedule it right away. I have all kinds of campaign stops in Virginia this weekend, but I'll be back late Sunday. Does early Monday work for you?" Mellie was so excited, she didn't seem to have any idea this was a ploy to butter her up.

Fitz would continue to play along. "Sure, I'll have Lauren get with your office and we will schedule something." In all honesty, Fitz had no idea if he had time for a meeting on Monday, but he'd figure it out if it meant she would be ok with his next request.

"About your weekend trip," he started.

Mellie's attention had gone back to the papers in front of her. "Mm hmmm," she replied absentmindedly.

"I was thinking, if you're ok with it, I'd like to have Olivia come to the residence." He was treading lightly. Mellie had offered to have Olivia come to the White House when she asked Fitz to stop going to her apartment, but he wasn't sure how serious the offer was. Fitz knew Olivia wouldn't show up if Mellie was there, but he had a fighting chance if Mellie was gone.

For a moment, Mellie stopped shuffling her papers around. She was shocked by the request, but not as much because Fitz wanted Olivia in the residence, and more so because he was asking her permission. Part of her wanted to tell Fitz to keep that whore out of her house, but she didn't want to jeopardize Fitz rescinding his offer for the campaign meeting. On top of that, she also didn't want to risk Fitz going over to Olivia's. He had all the leverage right now, and they both knew it.

"Do not let anyone from the press see her, Fitz," Mellie warned. Although, it would be much easier to explain away Olivia Pope at the White House than it would to explain the President of the United States at Olivia Pope's apartment.

"Ok, then," Fitz said in agreement. "I'll leave you to it." He headed back down to the Oval to finish up his work with a bounce in his step. All he needed to do was to get Olivia to agree.

Around nine that night, Abby arrived at Olivia's apartment. "Who sent you, Huck or Quinn?" Olivia asked her friend as she opened the door. She was grateful for the company, and it had been days since she had seen Abby, but she knew there was a reason she had picked tonight to come over.

"Huck," Abby smiled as she gave Olivia a hug. She put down her purse, took off her jacket and slipped off her shoes making herself comfortable on Olivia's big white couch.

Olivia grabbed another wine glass, and poured some for her friend. "I just don't want to be everyone else's fixer anymore, Abby," she explained.

Abby took the wine glass taking a long sip. "You don't need to explain anything to me, Liv. It's your choice." The concern in Olivia's eyes was obvious. "They're going to be ok," Abby added referring to Huck and Quinn.

Nodding, Olivia took a sip of wine and changed the subject. "How are things with you?" She asked deflecting the attention away from her and on to Abby.

"Things are going really well with Leo," the redhead smiled. "And work is, well, it's the usual crazy press room stuff."

The two friends continued to catch up. They flipped on the tv for some background noise, laughed, and drank way too much wine. It felt good to have Abby around again and forget the stress of the day.

As the night wore on, Olivia couldn't help but wonder if Fitz was going to call her. She hadn't heard from him all day, and it made her uneasy. Her fears were calmed when her phone began to vibrate. Abby took this as her cue to leave, but Olivia motioned for her to sit back down.

"Hi," Olivia answered.

Fitz returned the greeting in his usual soft, loving voice.

"I wasn't sure you were going to call me today," Olivia confessed.

It broke his heart that she was worried about that. They might have been navigating some rough waters the last few days, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to call her. He was, however, worried about how she was going to receive the news about the article, and Jake. Again, it was something he wanted to talk about in person but he hadn't been afforded that luxury.

"I'm always going to call you," he assured her. "Until I don't have to call you, because you're with me."

Olivia sighed, "someday soon," she whispered. Being with Fitz sounded so wonderful. She missed him. They may have spoken every day, but not seeing him was taking its toll. She needed to have his arms wrapped around her, she needed to kiss him, she needed to just be with him.

"How about this weekend?" He asked, his tone of voice pleading with her already.

"I thought you had meetings and things his weekend," she asked. They had been scouring his schedule for a time they could get away, but it hadn't worked out yet.

"I do, but you can come to the White House." Before she had a chance to protest Fitz continued. "Mellie is going to be gone, and she doesn't have a problem with it."

"I find that hard to believe," Olivia mumbled into the phone.

Fitz sighed. He knew this was going to be a hard sell. "Liv, I need to see you. I can't get away for the next few weeks, we can't be at your place, and Blair House is occupied this weekend. Mellie won't even be here, and I just think we have to take what we can get. Please?"

Olivia wanted this, she needed this. The situation was not ideal, but she was giving in. "Ok," she agreed, a smile forming across her face.

Overjoyed, Fitz pumped his fist in the air. "Thank you," he said with all the sincerity in the world.

Suddenly aware Abby had been witnessing her side of the conversation, Olivia said goodbye to Fitz and ended the call.

"What was that all about?" Abby asked with raised eyebrows.

The last thing Olivia wanted to do was put Abby in the middle of her mess, but she was worried about Fitz. He seemed to be keeping it all together, but he had so much to deal with. "How is he?" She asked her friend. Abby saw him everyday, and part of Olivia was jealous.

Abby set her glass down and looked her friend in the eye. "He misses you." She paused and then continued. "And he's going to do everything he can to make sure you guys are together. That's one determined guy you have there, Liv."

Thinking about the days events, Abby's mind went to the article, and to Jake. She had been avoiding this conversation all night, not knowing if it was her place to say anything, but feeling like she was hiding a big secret anyway.

Abby's look suddenly changed. She went from lighthearted to serious in a matter of seconds. "There's something you should know, but I'm not sure if I should be the one to tell you."

"What is it, Abby?" Olivia's tone matched Abby's. There was no going back for Abby now. You don't drop something like that on Olivia Pope and refuse to elaborate.

Rummaging through her purse, Abby pulled out her phone. Calling up the article, she took a deep breath and handed it over to Olivia.

As soon as she started reading, Olivia felt the wind knocked right out of her. "This is not good, Abby. For Fitz, for me, for any of us." Her voice was shaky and panicked.

"Now Liv, that's an old article. We're handling it. It's a small blog and it never picked up any traction. Reputable news organizations wouldn't run it without a second source to corroborate." Abby told her gently, trying to calm Olivia's nerves.

"Who was the first source?" she asked horrified.

Abby knew she had to answer, despite her reluctance. "It was Jake, Olivia."

Silent tears began to stream down Olivia's face. "How do you know? How long have you known?" Questions were flooding her mind, overwhelming her.

"We saw the article awhile ago, we didn't want to stress you out, and we wanted to get to the bottom of it first," the redhead offered.

"We?" Olivia's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Huck, Quinn, and...the President," Abby clarified. If she was going to tell Olivia about this, she didn't want to tell half truths.

The old Olivia would have been angry. They all knew about this, but they weren't filling her in. But the new Olivia felt differently. Her friends, Fitz, they were trying to protect her. They didn't want to give her partial information. They wanted to give her the whole story. They wanted to protect her. Olivia was grateful for their efforts, but her silence was making Abby nervous.

"He wanted to tell you, but in person, and right now that's not really an option," Abby offered hoping to soften the blow. But what happened next was the most surprising thing Olivia had ever done.

She didn't get mad, she didn't yell or lecture. Instead, Olivia leaned over and hugged Abby. "Thank you," she whispered, wiping her tears away.

Olivia Pope was excepting help. This was new, and unexpected and wonderful all at the same time.


	14. Chapter 14

The next few days could not have gone by any slower for Olivia or Fitz. They were both consumed with work; Olivia with going through her office, talking to her clients, and Fitz dealing with more unrest in the Middle East. Despite everything they had going on, both of them were consumed with thoughts of the weekend.

Olivia still hadn't told Fitz she knew about the article or Jake, and Fitz still hadn't offered the information. She hadn't talked to him about her decision to close OPA yet either. Not only was she feeling anxious about talking to him in person about all the things she had been putting off, but her stomach was in knots at the thought of seeing him again. She felt like she was in high school and her boyfriend had invited her over because his parents were out of town. It was not the ideal situation to be in at her age, but it was the situation she was being dealt right now. She would have to deal with it.

Fitz on the other hand, still hadn't talked to Olivia about his talks with Mellie, or any of his plans. He wanted to tell her about the article and about Jake, but not over the phone. Besides all of the things he knew he'd have to talk to her about, his mind was racing at the thought of finally being able to touch her and kiss her again. He felt so empty without being able to see her. But having her come to the White House wasn't ideal.

Knowing it wouldn't all be the amazing reunion he had hoped for, he asked Lauren to clear his schedule for another visit someplace better. She had re-arranged some things and figured he could get out of Washington in two weeks. The Secret Service were already setting things up. Hoping to soften the blow of being separated again, he at least wanted to be able to tell Olivia when they could be together next when their weekend was over. Hopefully she could make it work with her schedule, he thought to himself.

Mellie hadn't been by the Oval in days, and Fitz hadn't seen her much in the residence except for a few times in passing. In all honesty, he was grateful for that. He didn't want to deal with her bringing up the weekend. Though he had noticed a meeting had been scheduled for Cyrus, Abby, Fitz and Mellie to discuss her campaign on Monday morning.

By Thursday night, Mellie was on her way to Virginia. Fitz, meanwhile, was down in the Oval working by the light of the lamp on his desk. He had been up to read to Teddy, just like he promised, every night. But, this week, with the situation in the Middle East he was back in his office after he tucked his son in. By the time he was ready to head up to the residence, he was exhausted, and he still hadn't put in his nightly call to Olivia.

It was nearly midnight when her phone rang. She had been drifting in and out of sleep waiting for Fitz to call. Packing up her office was taking a toll on her emotionally, and she had been waiting all day to hear his voice. Part of that made her uneasy, she didn't like feeling she was waiting around for him. It felt codependent, and weak. But, she had to reconcile the fact that right now, his voice was soothing to her. She didn't always have to be the strong, put-together, unbreakable Olivia Pope. Sometimes it was ok to be Fitz's Liv.

"Hi," Olivia yawned out, trying not to sound as tired as she was, but not doing a very good job.

"Hi," he replied, his tone matching hers.

"You sound tired, Fitz," Olivia observed. "You should get some rest."

"Just talk to me for a little bit, you know I won't be able to go to sleep otherwise." Fitz's tone paired with his words told her just how depleted he was. Fitz hardly ever admitted to being tired.

"Of course," Olivia smiled. He needed her, just as much as she needed him. "How was your day?" she asked him, purposefully trying to keep the conversation light.

Fitz laughed at her attempt to ask a normal conversation starting question. For any other person that's not a difficult question to answer. But for the President of the United States, it's quite complicated. "Oh you know, same old same old, just trying to keep the world from imploding."

His tone changed after a small pause. "I cannot wait to see you tomorrow night, Liv. I just need some time with you." He was serious and intense. Though he had tried not to bring up their visit much, not wanting to scare her off, he was so exhausted and depleted from the day, his guard was down.

Olivia couldn't help but agree. "Me too, Fitz,"

"You know, you could come over here tonight," he offered knowing it was a long shot. They had agreed on Friday, and even when Mellie decided to leave Thursday night, they hadn't changed their plans for one reason.

"And you know I can't, Fitz," she whispered. Olivia Pope showing up at the White House during daylight hours was perfectly acceptable. But if anyone caught her being snuck in during the middle of the night, tabloids would be running with the story by morning. "But I want to."

"One more sleep," he said, brightening his tone. There was still sadness behind his words, but Olivia could tell he was trying to lighten the mood.

"One more sleep," she agreed yawning once again. Her eyelids were heavy. Tomorrow would be here before she knew it.

"You'll be here for a late dinner, just the two of us?" he asked confirming their plans.

"I'll be there. Good night, Fitz," Olivia breathed out. Her mind already heading off into a dream state, thinking of what tomorrow night would bring.

"Goodnight, Liv," he replied hanging up the phone. He took a deep breath, turned off his lamp on his desk, and headed up to the residence.

It was 7:30 when Olivia walked out of her apartment the next night wearing a white off the shoulder sweater and jeans that hugged her curves. She looked casual and comfortable. John was waiting for her, as always, and grabbed her bag from her. "Ready to go, Ms. Pope?" he smiled. Olivia nodded and the two headed out.

About the same time, Fitz was wrapping up a meeting with the Secretary of State. He had checked his watch a million times throughout the day, hoping he could sneak away to the residence early tonight. The thought of seeing Olivia again made him nervous and excited all at the same time.

But, his excitement came to an abrupt halt when just before eight, he was told of a roadside bomb that had blown up an American convoy in Iraq. His heart sunk. His mind went to the soldiers and their families. Three had been killed, more were injured. He would need to head into some briefings to receive all the details.

The weight of the world was sitting on his shoulders, and in moments like these he felt it was hard to breathe. These men would never come home to their families. A father, a son, a husband had been lost. It was a harsh reality of war and no matter how many times Fitz was told of a soldiers death it never got any easier. No matter the circumstance, he always felt partially responsible. It had happened on his watch. It felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him every time. He may have looked stoic and in control in the meetings, the calls, and the protocol that followed; but his heart could feel the loss, every single time.

Olivia arrived at the White House and was taken up to the residence without being seen by the press, or really much of anyone. Even if she had been, with the news out of Iraq, no self respecting journalist would have questioned why she was there in that moment. She hadn't been told what was going on, only that Fitz had been tied up with other matters. Making herself at home, Olivia pulled off her brown leather boots and curled up on the couch. She wasn't upset, she would wait as long as she had to.

She flipped on the TV, and saw the news about the American troops. She knew immediately that was what was holding Fitz up, and she understood completely. Acutely aware of how hard the loss of a solider was on Fitz, she made a mental note to talk to him tomorrow about the issues that had been plaguing her. Tonight, he would have much more important things on his mind. It was hours later, when she heard the creak of the door behind her. "Fitz?" she called out instinctively.

But it wasn't Fitz, instead her eyes were drawn to a little boy in the shawdows. It was Teddy. He had tear stained cheeks, his dark brown hair a tussled mess. He was holding a book in his left hand, his other hand reaching up to the doorknob he could barely touch. "Is my Daddy here?" he asked innocently.

He was so much bigger than the last time Olivia had seen him. It struck her just how much he was starting to look like Fitz. She pulled herself out of her thoughts, realizing how upset the little boy was. "No, sweetie, your daddy had some work to do," Olivia answered. Teddy didn't budge at her response, he clearly wanted Fitz.

Sometimes Olivia was awkward around children. Given her family life growing up, that really came as no surprise to her. She was good with the children she had come across working at OPA, but that was different. This tiny person before her, clad in his green footie pajamas, needed her. Mellie was gone, and Fitz wasn't available to him. So, Olivia got up and crossed the room. When she got to the doorway, she bent down looking Teddy in the eyes. "But you can stay with me until he gets here," she offered.

Just then the nanny appeared. "Oh, Ms. Pope, I'm so sorry, I tucked him in, I didn't realize he had gotten back out of bed," the young girl apologized."I'll get him back to his room."

Teddy's eyes were wide, his checks still stained with tears, but what Olivia knew about him, she knew he wasn't going to object. He was easy going, and did what he was told. Her eye's went to the boy and then to his book. She recalled Fitz telling her he had been making it a point to read to Teddy each night, and she quickly realized what was happening. Fitz had serious matters to attend to, something there was no possible way he could leave, and reading to Teddy wasn't possible tonight. The boy was too young, though, to understand. It didn't matter to him if Fitz was the President of the United States. No, Teddy was too young to comprehend that. This was Teddy's world, and in his world, his dad wasn't there to read to him, plain and simple.

"Don't worry about it, I can take it from here," Olivia said dismissing Teddy's nanny. She turned her attention back toward the little boy. "I'm Olivia," she offered knowing there was no way he could remember her from the few times they had been in each other's presence. "And I can read to you tonight, if you like," she told him, adding "until your daddy gets here."

Teddy nodded in agreement and dropped his hand from the door knob, making the way over to the couch with his book still in his hands. He climbed up to the couch, and Olivia made herself comfortable next to the boy. Teddy wasted no time in cuddling up to Olivia, as she pulled the blanket around them with one arm and adjusted her other arm around Teddy. He was asleep before she was half way through the book.

Olivia took a moment to take in the scene. Here she was in the White House, Fitz's son sleeping in her arms. It felt so right and so wrong at the same time. She wanted this, all of this, even the pressures and pitfalls that came with being First Lady, but it still seemed so out of place. It felt like she was a little girl, dressing up in her mother's closet. As much as she wanted to have all the clothes and the jewelry, it just didn't fit. It wasn't hers.

She sat there with a sleeping Teddy in her arms, thinking about being more than the First Lady, she thought about being a mother. This little boy was so sweet and so innocent. He was so perfect, but he wasn't hers. Mellie would always be his mother, and she would have to settle for step-mother status. Olivia couldn't believe how far she was letting her mind wander. She couldn't help but question if she would ever get to marry Fitz, but she knew that she wanted to. With every fiber of her being she wanted to marry him, and have a family with him. Not only that, she wanted this family with him.

Jerry and Karen had gotten to know Olivia well on the trail. They spent a lot of time together, and she was fond of both of them. Though she didn't show it, it nearly broke her when Jerry died, not just because of the pain she knew Fitz was going through, but because of her loss as well. When the Grant kids needed anything during the campaign, there was Olivia ready with a sympathetic ear or an indulgent ice cream sundae. They mad thee trail fun and bearable. She knew they were amazing kids the moment she had met them.

Not only was it heart breaking that Jerry was gone, but it was sad she hadn't been around for Teddy in the same capacity. He didn't really know her, but she wanted him to. It was too much to think about tonight, she thought, as she closed her eyes, slipping off into a sound sleep herself.

It was midnight by the time Fitz found himself on the way up to residence. He was tired, and shaken. It had been a long, trying day. He couldn't help but be grateful that Olivia would be up in the residence waiting for him. He searched the residence for her, finally finding her in the living room. When he saw her, his heart leapt out of his chest. There she was, the love of his life, sleeping peacefully, with his son in her arms. The two of them together looked natural, and loving, the perfect pair.

He stood in the doorway, his arms crossed, resting against the doorjamb for a moment taking in the scene before him. It was the picture of perfection to him. Tears began to fill his eyes. He wanted this. More than anything in the world, he wanted this.

_Lots more to come from Olivia's weekend at the White House, but I've been holding on to this chapter for a few days and I thought I'd put it out there. _


	15. Chapter 15

She was such a sight for sore eyes. He didn't realize the extent of his heart ache from their seperation until he saw her in front of him. To have found her with Teddy like this was just the icing on the cake. Fitz crossed the dark room. He bent down and placed one hand on Teddys back while the other cradled Olivias head. He placed a soft kiss on her temple and she stirred. "I missed you," Fitz whispered into her ear, as Olivia's eyes fluttered open.

Disoriented at first, Olivia inhaled deeply. As soon as she got her bearings, a smile came across her face. She looked over at Fitz and found his eyes. The room was only lit by the light coming from the hallway, but she could see the expression on his face and it meant everything to her. He was a man in love. She wanted to kiss him, but Teddy was still sleeping in her arms, and it seemed wildly inappropriate.

"Here, I'm going to get this one to bed," Fitz whispered picking Teddy up and carrying him off to his room. Olivia grabbed his book and followed closely behind. She stopped in Teddy's doorway to let Fitz take care of the rest. The little boy didn't move until Fitz was pulling the covers over him.

"Daddy?" he asked confused and disoriented.

"Yea, buddy, I'm here," Fitz replied, pushing his son's hair off his forehead.

"Livia?" the little boy asked clearly fond of his new friend.

"I'm here too, Teddy," she said from the doorway. "It's time for bed now, ok?"

Teddy didn't say anything else as he rolled over and went right back to sleep. Fitz placed a kiss on his son's cheek. It was as if the little boy was just checking in, making sure everyone was still there before he went back to his dreams. Olivia handed Fitz the book and wandered out into the hall. Fitz put the book back on the shelf, turned on Teddy's night light, backed out of the room and then quietly closed the door.

He turned around and smiled at Olivia. There was so much he wanted to say to her, to tell her, to talk to her about. But in that moment, all he could think about were her lips on his. In one fluid motion he stepped toward her, his hands on her face, his lips crashing into hers. Fitz was kissing her with all the feeling and intensity of the last few weeks. He couldn't help himself. He just needed to be close to her.

Eventually, needing air, they both pulled away. He put his forehead to hers with his left arm around her waist and his right hand cradling the back of her head, his fingers through her hair, as they both caught their breath. After their breathing returned to normal, Fitz grabbed her hand and walked her down to his room.

He closed the door behind them, and Olivia dropped her hand from his as she looked around. She hadn't been here in so long. All the pictures of Mellie and Fitz together had been removed from the room, and there was no trace of Mellie anywhere. Her things no longer occupied the night stand.

Fitz had moved to the closet, and was changing into something more comfortable. When he reappeared he noticed Olivia's facial expression. "You know, she hasn't stayed in here for a long time, Liv. It's ok," he assured her.

Fitz and Mellie hadn't shared this room in over a year. The staff at the residence was more than aware of the separation, and had been very accommodating. But Fitz was realizing now that he had never told Olivia any of that. There was always a lot going on, and it was not something they discussed. "But we can stay in another room if you'd be more comfortable," he added trying to be sensitive to the situation.

Olivia waved him off "it's fine, Fitz," she sighed. Walking over to the window, Olivia looked out at D.C, at the Washington Monument, all lit up. It certainly was a different view of the city. She felt Fitz's arms wrap around her. "It's really beautiful, Fitz."

"It really is," he agreed looking at Olivia with admiration. He was talking about her, not the view. She was radiant. He couldn't even believe she was here.

After letting out a yawn, Fitz suggest she change into her pajamas. She had packed a bag, but instead he handed her another one of his Navy shirts. Shortly thereafter, the two were cuddled up on the four poster bed, under the fluffy down comforter.

Fitz wanted nothing more than to make love to her. She was here in the White House, in his bed, looking more beautiful than she had ever looked before, but he could tell she wasn't ready for that yet. Instead the two laid nose to nose looking at each other, holding hands.

Nothing was said out loud, instead they gazed into each others eyes, willing for the other to know how deeply they were feeling this moment. A stray tear escaped from Olivia's eye, and rolled down onto the pillow. "You know, I love you." Fitz said finally breaking the silence. It was more of a statement than a question. She had to know.

Olivia nodded, too choked up to speak, so Fitz continued. "The day I meant you, I told you I would be lucky to have you, and I've always felt that way. I'm so lucky, Olivia. God, I've done so many awful things, but you're still here. I am so, so lucky." Fitz was in awe.

She could feel the butterflies in her stomach, and looked down away from Fitz's blue-grey eyes. He still had that effect on her all these years later. Olivia remembered that day vividly. A man had never looked at her the way Fitz did in that hallway. It was angst and worry, but it was something more than that. If she never believed in love at first sight, that day had made her a believer. And that bond had only strengthened over the years, despite some serious set backs.

As her thoughts drifted back through their time together, she absent-mindedly began rubbing Fitz's ring finger. It was then that she realized it was bare, and her eyes shot up to meet Fitz's.

Her inquisitive look prompted an explanation from Fitz. "I've been taking it off, it feels like I'm being suffocated when I wear it." he shrugged. "But don't worry, I wear it during the day to keep up appearances," he added in response to her raised eyebrows. He knew the fixer in her would worry about the optics.

His hand went up to her face as he tucked some loose strands of hair behind her ear. "Eleven more days. After all the days we've spent waiting, just eleven more, Liv," he told her referring to Mellie's election.

It was a nice thought, but Olivia was pessimistic. It wasn't like it would all just happen over night. It wasn't as if the second Mellie won the Senate seat, she would disappear into the sunset and Olivia would become First Lady with the whole support of the country behind her. Fitz was the romantic one. He had dreams of weddings and babies. While she shared those dreams, she also had nightmares of tabloids and headlines.

He could see the panic in her eyes, and he scooted even close to her. "Baby, it's going to be ok. I promise." His voice was reassuring, his physical presence was reassuring, and Olivia just wanted to enjoy her evening with him, so she allowed her body to melt into his. She closed her eyes to take in his touch, and she was quickly realizing how sleepy she was. With the room dark and silent,soon both Fitz and Olivia were asleep, wrapped up in each other.

Morning came too soon, when Fitz's alarm was going off at 5:30. He shot up out of bed, hoping not to wake her, but it was futile. Still dark outside, he encouraged Olivia to go back to sleep. Her eyelids were heavy, and she obliged. Fitz showered, changed, and stopped back by his bed to kiss Olivia's forehead before he headed downstairs. He hated that he had to leave her. She looked so perfect laying there in his bed. It saddened Fitz to think that he didn't get to have this every day.

Olivia's eyes opened just before 9. For a split moment, she didn't know where she was. It was disorienting waking up in the White House, but it was also very comforting. If only it could always be like this. She couldn't believe how late she had slept. At the same time she felt more well-rested than she had in years.

She found her way to the kitchen, where Teddy was eating his cereal, while his nanny cleaned up the morning mess. "Good morning, Ms. Pope, can I get you anything to eat?" the young blonde girl asked. Teddy, noticing Olivia's arrival smiled and waved. Olivia returned the gesture.

"Oh, no, thank you, you don't have to worry about me," Olivia answered pouring herself some coffee and taking a place at the table next to Teddy. It felt odd to ask Teddy's nanny to make her breakfast. Surely she could manage on her own.

Olivia wasn't sure what to do with her day, Fitz would be tied up for most of it, though he had told her he'd be back up for lunch. She looked over at the little boy chomping on his cereal, and noticed how unphased he seemed by today's events. Both of his parents were gone, and a stranger was in his house, yet he didn't question any of it.

Teddy noticed Olivia looking at him. "Do you want to play today?' he asked. That was his agenda today, play. It was simple, from the mind of a preschooler.

It sounded good to Olivia, so she agreed. "That sounds like fun, Teddy. I'd love to," she answered. Suddenly realizing how awkward having a nanny around was, Olivia turned to the young woman. "Why don't you take the day off," she offered.

The woman thought about it. She wasn't confident Olivia had the power to give her the day off, but the idea of going on with her friends on a Saturday night caused her not to debate it very much. "Thank you, Ms. Pope, do you need anything else?" she smiled as she was half-way out the door.

"No, thanks," Olivia replied. But, in reality, she probably should have asked some questions. She didn't know the first thing about being around Teddy. She would just have to figure it out as they went along.

The pair spent their morning playing with blocks, watching a movie, and reading books. When it came time to make lunch, Olivia realized she had no idea what to do. She didn't know his likes or dislikes, or her way around the kitchen. She settled on something easy, grilled cheese.

As she was flipping the sandwiches, Fitz strolled in. Teddy sat off in the other room playing with his toy trucks, and Fitz knelt down beside him and pretended to drive a few cars away, even making sound effects. He shared a smile with Olivia and then walked over to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

It was all very domesticated for Olivia. Here she was in the White House kitchen making grilled cheese sandwiches after having spent the morning with Teddy. It was a huge departure from anything she had ever done before, but it felt right, it felt like it fit. It was obvious how much he loved his kids, but it was a side to Fitz that not many people got to see. She felt privileged to be one of those people.

"You know we have staff that can do all this," he said, grabbing a few grapes off the plates Olivia had made. "The kitchen could have made you anything for lunch."

"I know, but I wanted to do it myself," she said quietly, shrugging her shoulders. Olivia wanted to prove she could slip into this new life awaiting for her, and she didn't need cooks and housekeepers and nanny's to do it.

Fitz knew she needed this. "Ok, then. Let's eat," he said loud enough for Teddy to hear, the little boy scrambled over to the chairs, gobbling up his food. It might not have been a three course meal she cooked, but Teddy seemed pleased, and that was enough for Olivia to feel like she had accomplished something.

They talked over lunch, keeping the conversation light. Olivia knew how much stress Fitz was under, and she wanted to give him a nice break. When Teddy was finished, he went back to his cars, and Fitz leaned back in his chair.

"So, it seems you sent Megan away," he noted smiling. "How are you guys doing up here on your own?" He seemed concerned, not because he thought Olivia couldn't handle herself. She'd taken down some of the worst criminals, she survived a kidnapping, surely she could handle Teddy. But, it was more of a question if she wanted to handle a preschooler. They'd always talked about being together, they'd talked about the press, but they never really talked about Fitz being a dad or Olivia's role in their family.

The only thing that upset Fitz about the divorce, was thinking of not seeing his kids as much. But, he also knew that while the divorce papers would split custody 50/50, Teddy would end up with him most of the time. He found solace in that, but he wasn't exactly sure how Olivia would feel about being a mother figure to the little boy who was brought into this world to keep them apart. It stung to think of Teddy that way. As fiercely as Fitz loved his son, it was the reality of the situation.

"We're great, right Teddy?" Olivia responded cheerfully. Teddy gave her a thumbs up from across the room and went back to his toys. Olivia leaned in to Fitz much quieter and whispered "Although, I really have no idea what I'm doing. Does he still take a nap? And what about snacks, is there a time for that?" She asked as if she was a teenager babysitting for the first time.

Fitz smiled at her, and reached out for her hand. "You're great with him, Olivia." Olivia's frown told him to answer her questions. "He takes a nap after lunch and then gets a small snack," he clarified.

"Ok, I can handle that," she said nodding. It seemed like she was assuring herself more than Fitz. She looked up at the clock, and realized Fitz should get back downstairs. "You need to go, you have work to do," her tone was light but stern. As much as she wanted to spend time with him, She didn't want to hold him up from things he had to do.

He got up and kissed her forehead. Pulling away, he looked right in her eyes. "I'm so glad you're here," he told her. He didn't need to say it, she could see it in his eyes.

His tone changed as he turned towards his son. "I'll be back later, buddy, ok? I won't miss bedtime stories tonight."

Teddy shrugged. "It's ok, Livia can read them." He said nonchalantly. Fitz turned and raised his eyebrows at Olivia, she was doing just fine. Olivia smiled and nodded. As FItz walked out of the room, he heard the two of them talking and laughing. His job was difficult, today had been emotionally taxing in the War room, but coming upstairs to the two of them made it much easier to deal with the stresses of the day. If only it could be like this all the time, he thought to himself.

After Olivia had put Teddy down for his nap, she poked her head out the glass doors of the residence. There she found John standing guard with another agent. "Can you keep an eye on Teddy for a few minutes, he's napping in his room," she explained to John.

"Sure thing. Ms. Pope," he nodded. As he walked into the residence, Olivia walked out. She took the back staircase and hallways trying not to be seen, before arriving down at the Oval Office. Lauren smiled at her presence. "He's in there with some paperwork, go right in," she told Olivia, without any prompting.

As the door opened, Fitz looked up. Seeing her face in his office, like this, was everything to him. She wasn't here on official White House business. She wasn't here because of some crisis, or to argue with him. She was here because they were together.

"Teddy's napping," she told him. "So I thought I'd come down and say hi." Olivia wandered to the middle of the room, and Fitz got up, came around his desk and put his arms around her. They were standing on the presidential seal, and Olivia looked up at the cameras.

"It's ok, Liv," Fitz assured her. He pushed her hair behind her ear and let his hand linger, but she looked unconvinced. Fitz nodded in the direction of the windows, and guided her out of the cameras views.

She smiled up at him, suddenly very nervous. She wasn't sure what to do next, or why she had even come down here, she just wanted to see Fitz, so she wandered down without even thinking about it. It was odd to be standing at this window in the daylight in the middle of a Saturday, both dressed casually. It was a different feel than the usual buzz and business of the West Wing.

Forgetting all that she stood on her tippy toes to place a soft kiss on his lips. "The cameras, I still worry about them," she explained, clearly embarrassed that they bothered her still.

"Ten more days," he said, continuing the countdown. "Then the cameras won't matter," he said optimistically.

But Olivia was growing annoyed that he didn't seem to see that ten days was just the beginning, and they'd be lucky to make it through the storm that was coming. she rolled her eyes and walked away from the window.

"Liv?" He questioned. He didn't know why he was getting that reaction from her.

"It's not ten days, Fitz. You can say that all you want, and it sounds romantic and amazing. But it's not true," she said clear annoyed, turning around with her hands on her hips.

"The election is in ten days, Olivia. Then it'll all be over, and we can move on," her told her still questioning her attitude.

"No, it won't. It's not like next Wednesday we can just walk out to the press room holding hands, tell them we're in love, and they'll shower us with well-wishes. Fitz, you aren't being realistic about this. Yes, next Tuesday hopefully Mellie wins, and ideally she'll sign whatever papers you put in front of her. But then, you have to deal with press, and the fall out." Olivia's tone was becoming increasingly argumentative and hostile.

As Fitz stood there stunned at her sudden outburst, she continued without him getting a word in edgewise. "And they're not just going to let this go. This hasn't ever happened before, a sitting president divorcing his wife. You'll have to do interview after interview, and you can't be seen with me in the mean time, or the alarm bells in the media will sound immediately. They'll be a dog with a bone." She was pacing now, and the panic was setting in.

It wasn't that Fitz was surprised, he knew she would have moments of panic. As on board as Olivia seemed with the plan at times, he was fully aware her reservations would pop up here and there. He knew her. Obviously, she wanted to be with him, but it was a lot to handle, a lot to deal with. But Fitz didn't see her panic coming out like this, in the middle of their weekend together.

He walked toward her, and she didn't back away. It was more than he used to get, a little bit of progress in a frustrating moment. At least she wasn't running. "Liv, I know this doesn't all magically go away in ten days. I would love it to, but it won't. We have to be patient and take it one day at a time."

She was listening, but she wasn't responding, so he continued. "And we're going to need these little countdowns to the next step, or it's going to drive us crazy. I don't want to say eventually anymore, Liv. I want to give you times and dates. It isn't a hypothetical anymore. This is happening." Fitz finished and pulled her in for a hug, she was on the verge of tears and all he wanted to do was hold her. Olivia responded to his touch and melted into him.

"I just feel like it's not though. I feel like it's going to be like all the other times. I'm upstairs and I'm taking care of Teddy, and it's wonderful and amazing. But, it just feels like I'm playing house, Fitz. In the back of my mind, I know tomorrow morning I'll be gone, and Mellie will be back. It's her house, it's her child," Olivia's voice was cracking, and tears were falling. "it's her husband," she added barely above a whisper.

His heart broke, and his face fell. It's true, everything she said was true. If only he had met her sooner. If only he had waited for her. Fitz hugged her closer. "I'm so sorry, Liv," he whispered into her ear, at a loss for anything he could say in this moment to make it better. He was taking steps, but it would never be fast enough. Not for him, and not for Olivia.

A knock on the door made Olivia pull away, and wipe her tears. It was her natural reaction to put physical space between them whenever anyone was around. Fitz sighed, they were always being interrupted it seemed. Lauren stuck her head in and reminded the president his advisors were waiting for him in the War room. Duty called, and he had to go. He thanked Lauren and she left.

"Liv, you know I don't want to go," he told her, concerned she might just head home and end the rest of their weekend. She nodded in reply. Olivia felt ridiculous, she didn't want to come down to his office to argue with him and cry, it just had come out.

Fitz crossed the room and put his hand on her waist. "Hey, I have this meeting, and a few other things to do. But, then I'm all yours," he was clearly trying to lighten the mood before he left. "Lets have dinner tonight after Teddy goes to bed. I'lll make you something this time," he searched her eyes, hoping for some kind of read on her emotions.

"Ok," she agreed giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. She was doing her best not to run away from this, and she didn't want Fitz to feel guilty that he had other things to do. He had a lot to juggle.

"Then it's a date," he smiled, giving her a kiss on her temple before he strolled out of the Oval and back to work.


	16. Chapter 16

By the time Fitz arrived back up in the residence that evening, Teddy had been bathed and fed. He was in his pajamas, sitting with Olivia Indian style on the large blue rug in the middle of the floor in his room. They were surrounded by his trains and were busy putting different tracks together, when Fitz found them.

Fitz never compared Olivia to Mellie, because in his mind there wasn't anything to compare. But, seeing her here with his child, it became apparent that Olivia had the motherly touch that Mellie sorely lacked. He would never find Mellie in Teddy's room like this. It wasn't that she didn't love her children, but most of the time she just didn't interact with them in a motherly way. Fitz cleared his throat, and the little boy's face lit up when he saw his dad. "Hey buddy," Fitz said as Teddy ran over and clung to Fitz's legs. "I told you I'd be here for bedtime tonight."

Olivia smiled, and began to pick up the mess of trains and tracks. She was embarrassed about her outburst earlier, and she didn't make any eye contact with him as a result. Fitz took notice, and filed it away for later; they would have a lot to talk about over dinner. But for now, he would read Teddy his story, as promised, and tuck him in. Olivia said goodnight to Teddy, and he held out his arms for a hug. Olivia, of course, obliged. She was honored he had taken to her the way that he had. "Night Livia," he told her in a sleepy voice.

Leaving the room to give Teddy and Fitz some father son time, she made her way to the kitchen, where she poured herself some red wine, and took a seat at the island on one of the stools. Her mind drifted to this afternoon and their conversation in the Oval. She hated how confrontational she was. He didn't deserve that. She could blame him all she wanted, but the truth is, she was to blame too. It isn't as though he hadn't tried to be with her before, but she always pushed him away.

Twenty minutes later, she was pulled out of her thoughts when she felt Fitz's arms slipped around her. "Thanks for waiting," his husky voice whispered in her ear. His touch sent chills down her spine.

"Of course," she replied turning around in the swivel seat. She was now face to face with Fitz. He looked so handsome in his grey V-neck sweater and jeans. She reached for his hand, and pulled him slightly closer. He was nearly straddling her, and Olivia felt the sexual tension in a way she hadn't since she had been back. She pulled his face to hers and started kissing him feverishly.

But Fitz eventually pulled away. She knew he would want to talk about today, and she was right. "Liv, as much as I love kissing you, we need to talk." Fitz had been thinking about their conversation too, and he needed her to know some things.

Olivia couldn't help but feel rejected by him, he had done this just a few weeks ago, too. She got up to distance herself physically from him. But Fitz followed her across the room. "Don't do this, Olivia. You keep pushing me away. I know that's easier for you, but it has to stop. Maybe that's what today was about, I don't know. But, Liv, I need to you know, this time is different. It might take longer than we want. It might not be the ideal situation in the meantime, but this is how it is, and we need to get through it. We need to get through it together." Fitz was serious, she could tell by the look on his face. His eyes were begging her to believe him, to finally listen to him.

Then it hit her. Fitz kept telling her this time was different, and the only way it would be, is if she was different. She couldn't keep running away or coming up with excuses. "I'm sorry about today," she apologized. "It's hard, though. It's hard to be in her home, with her kids and her husband."

Fitz felt the twinge in his heart. "Please stop saying that." he pleaded. HIs face had the hurt he was feeling written all over it. But, it wasn't for him. It was for her. He didn't want her to feel second to anyone.

She knew that, but it didn't stop her from feeling that way anyway. "It's the truth though," Olivia shrugged, as if it didn't matter. Her apathy alarmed Fitz.

The fire in his eyes was there. She knew he was about to lecture her, and she wasn't wrong. "Yes, she is still legally married to me, so she is the First Lady. That makes 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue her address. But, that doesn't make it our home. A home is somewhere you go to be with the people you love, to feel safe and content, where you share memories with you family. That's not necessarily an address, Liv. My home is with you. You're there for me, Olivia. Wherever you are, that's my home."

Olivia didn't seem to listen. It looked like it was going in one ear and out the other. "I haven't always been there for you, Fitz" she whispered, ashamed. He knew she was talking about running away after Jerry's death. The memory of sitting on the floor in the Oval, needing her , calling for her, all to no avail was as vivid and painful as ever. But, Fitz also knew the guilt and pain that Olivia felt for her parents role in Jerry's death. This blame game of who and what kept them a part needed to be over.

"Liv, you cannot blame yourself for everything that's happened. It's not fair to you, or to us. You've been there for me so many times. You were there through the campaign, you were there when my father died, you were there when I was shot. I'm the one that hasn't always been there for you," he had held out his hand for hers, and she obliged.

He was trying to make her feel better, and it was admirable. But her perception of reality spoke a very different truth. She ran away when he found out about Defiance. She ran away when her father showed back up. She ran away when Jerry died. Fitz couldn't have possibly forgotten all the times he tried to do what he could to be with her, only to be turned down.

"That's not your fault either, I've pushed you away," she said still not making eye contact. She was leaning against the counter now, with nowhere else to go. He needed her to face this, and keep talking.

He took his free hand and drew it up to her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. "And I let you. That's on me, Olivia. I just walked out. I let you back out of plans, I went along with others. I did whatever you told me to, because that's what I thought was best. But, it wasn't. You need pushing, Liv. You're strong and driven and intelligent. But when it domes to matters of the heart, you need pushing. I should have seen it. I should have seen that you needed the push from me, and instead I just walked away every time you told me to. It took you taking off that ring for me to realize that I needed to put a stop to it," He explained as he rubbed his thumb back and forth across her infinity ring.

Olivia looked up at him with her brown eyes, she was listening now. Her interest had been peaked. Capitalizing on that interest, Fitz steered the conversation back to his original points. "And this home, anyway, that you say isn't ours, is littered with memories of you and me. We danced in the Oval on inauguration night, you stood there in the press room to support me after I had been shot, you told me you'd wait for me in Cyrus's office."

Those memories made Olivia smile, and Fitz could tell his words were finally getting through, so he continued. "And it's true that you didn't give birth to Karen of Teddy, but that doesn't mean you can't be a mother figure for them. Karen called you when she got in trouble at school, she talked to you on the trail when she needed someone to listen. And my God, look at how well you did with Teddy today, Liv. You're a natural, and just when I think there's no possible way I can love you anymore, I see you with him, and there's a whole other layer of you to love."

"I fed him lunch and played with him, Fitz," she said discounting her accomplishments today.

"Stop, just stop," he said raising his voice a little louder than he intended. "Don't devalue what you did today. I don't want to see you do that anymore. You devalue my feelings for you, as if the fact that you're the love of my life doesn't matter enough," his voice was softer now, and he was so close she could feel his hot breath on her neck. It gave her goosebumps.

"It matters, Fitz. It's just, it's everything," she choked out, her eyes filling with tears.

His hand went up to her face, as his thumb rubbed back and forth against her cheek."And that husband part, it's all coming to an end soon, Liv. Then, I'm going to be your husband, and you're going to be my wife," he whispered into her ear.

Her body went numb and all she could feel were the butterflies in her stomach. His romanticism might bother her sometimes, but it was also one of his greatest attributes. The tears began to fall from her eyes, and Fitz wiped them away.

Feeling he needed to lighten the moment, he changed the subject. "So, I promised you dinner, what should I make for you?" He asked.

Olivia's stomach was in knots, she needed to talk to him about that article, Jake, and the fact that she knew about it. She also had to tell him about OPA.

"Maybe we should just do wine and popcorn, I'm not very hungry," she told him.

After protest from Fitz, citing popcorn as a snack not a meal, the two were back in his room with wine, a large bowl of popcorn, and a fire crackling behind them in the fireplace. They had changed, Olivia sitting under the blanket in Fitz's Navy shirt with only a pair of boyshort panties underneith. Fiitz meanwhile, sported a grey t-shirt and blue plaid boxers.

Fitz wrapped his arm around Olivia, as he covered the two of them up with a blanket. His feet were propped up on the coffee table, her's were outstretched on the couch. "I need to talk to you about some things, Fitz," Olivia said seriously once they were all settled in.

A sigh escaped Fitz's lips, "I need to talk to you too," he explained. Olivia gestured him to go first. "There was a blog, Liv. It mentioned you being taken." Not wanting to alarm her, he quickly continued. "It didn't really go anywhere obviously, and we looked into it, to make sure you were safe," he explained. Fitz was worried how she would take this all, so when she started laughing, he was beyond confused. "How exactly is that funny?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

"Fitz, you should probably know, you can't tell Abby anything and expect her not to tell me," Olivia explained through her laughter. The article wasn't funny, but the fact that he was clearly nervous about telling her something she already knew, was amusing.

"So you know where the article came from then?" he questioned. Olivia immediately stopped laughing.

"I know," she sighed. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to Fitz about Jake. Olivia desperately wanted to change the subject, so she just blurted out her next piece of news. "I'm closing OPA," she said bluntly.

"What? Why?" Fitz asked genuinely shocked by the news.

"For a lot of reasons. You talked about your home, well OPA used to be my home. But, since I've been back, it just doesn't feel that way anymore, Fitz. It doesn't feel like I fit or I belong. I just don't have the same drive for it that I had before," she explained. "With Harrison gone, and Abby here, it's just not what it used to be. It's not what I want my life to be," Olivia explained.

Fitz knew something was off about how she felt at OPA, but he had assumed the feeling would pass. "If closing OPA is what you want, then you should do it. But, just make sure it isn't on my account." Fitz didn't want her to regret it, and someday blame him. It was the same reason Olivia wanted him to run for a second term. It was a role reversal from his re-election campaign for sure.

He remembered the night of their discussion about running again perfectly well, they were in this same room, and she was the one pushing him into making the decision he really wanted to make. "I know things are different for you now, but you might not feel the same way in a couple weeks. If you want to close OPA because you truly want to walk away, Liv, that's noble and brave, and that's perfectly fine. But if you're doing it to run away, or if you're worried about what might happen when the news about us gets out, then that's not ok." Fitz was looking out for her, just as she had done for him.

"No, no, it's not any of that. I think, it's just I've spent my whole life fixing other people's problems, and I've used that as an excuse not to fix my own. Now that I want to fix my own, it isn't as rewarding to fix everyone else's. I want to work on us, on me, right now," she answered.

All of that was music to Fitz's ears. If she wasn't at OPA, it would certainly be easier to have her with him more often, but he also wanted her to be happy. He was skeptical that closing the office would help her find that happiness, but he wanted to be supportive.

"Ok," he acknowledged. If she said she wanted this, he would have to trust her on this one. Fitz pulled her closer, and Olivia snuggled into him. It was comfortable and calming. All the nights he had wished he could just hold Olivia, and now she was finally here. They sat in silence as Fitz rubbed circles on her back and Olivia took in his scent. It seemed like such a simple thing, cuddled up on the couch together, but it was a luxury for them. Someday, he thought, this would be their daily lives. When it was, he would never ever take her for granted.

"I wish this was my life," she told Fitz honestly breaking the silence. "And it should have been, so many times. But, then we put everyone else ahead of us. You had to stay for Mellie, and I couldn't leave OPA." Her tone was sad and apologetic.

"We can't dwell on how things should have been, or could have been, Liv. I should have left this all behind the day I met you. I should have reacted differently to so many situations. But I didn't, and here we are. We have to just take it from here." His voice was soothing and calming. She couldn't get close enough to him, but she would try, pulling him even closer.

"I want this so bad," she whispered so quietly he could barely hear her. Fitz's heart broke into a million little pieces. Her tone was desperate, she was almost begging him. That's not how he wanted her to feel. She should be confident in his love for her. She should know that when he tells her they're going to be together, that there is no question in that. It was his fault that she was so unsure, and that had to change.

He had to do something. Fitz thought for a moment, and then he threw off the blanket and ran to the closet to pull on a pair of shorts. He handed her a pair of his pajama pants. "Put these on," he instructed her.

Olivia was confused, but she decided to play along. She pulled on the pants and tightened the drawstring. Before she could do anything else he was pulling her by her hand out of the room, down the hall, and out of the residence.

It was late and the entire White House was empty and silent except for the few agents tasked with keeping watch, but they didn't pay any attention to Olivia or Fitz. Her feet were bare, and Fitz led her outside to the rose garden. The grass was cool, and full of dew beneath her feet. He didn't seem to care and neither did she.

"It's our spot, remember?" he asked her. Of course Olivia remembered, she nodded and rubbed her arms to try and warm herself. She wasn't sure what she was doing out here. Fitz moved closer to her and took both of her hands. Looking into his eyes warmth washed over her body.

"This is where I'm going to propose to you," Fitz smiled.

The panic in Olivia's eyes told Fitz to continue, quickly.

"Not today. But the moment I can. Maybe I shouldn't be telling you this, maybe it should have been a surprise. I want you to know, I need you to know, though, that this is happening. We've tried this too many times, and we've never gotten it right, but that's done. It's over. Damn the consequences, Olivia. These are our lives, and we have to start living them." Fitz was ranting and he knew it, he needed to get back to his point.

"This is where I'm going to propose," he reiterated taking a deep breath, slowing his words and softening his tone. "I'm going to bring you down here and I'm gong to get down on one knee, and tell you as best as I can how much you mean to me, how much I love you. I'm going to take off that placeholder," he said referring to her infinity ring," and I'm going to slip the most amazing diamond ring you have ever seen onto your finger. And then the whole world can know, what I have known since the day I first laid eyes on you, that you, Olivia Pope, are my soul mate."

His confidence was overwhelming. There was no doubt in Fitz's mind all of that was going to happen. It was reassuring and terrifying. Olivia wanted him to know something though. "And I'm going to say yes," she whispered.

Fitz pulled her close, and felt her body shiver. He had thought about proposing to Olivia hundreds of times, but he was never all that confident she would agree under any circumstances. Now she was telling him, there was nothing to be worried about. It felt like a weight had been taken off his shoulders. The only dilemma was that he couldn't do it yet.

Taking her face in his hands, Fitz came in for a kiss. His lips were soft and warm, and she melted into the slow and soft kisses he was giving her. When she pulled away, he put her forehead to hers and let out a slow, relieved breath.

Olivia broke the silence between them. "But, do you think maybe it could be a little warmer?" she joked.

Smiling, Fitz grabbed her hand and the two walked back up to the residence in silence. Something about it felt strange. But it felt strange because it didn't feel out of place. Roaming the halls at night, she felt like she was sharing something special with him. They made their way back up to Fitz's room.

It was getting late, and a long drawn out yawn from Olivia suggested it was time to climb into bed. As he turned down the covers and she climbed in, his heart sank at the thought that tomorrow night he would be all alone again.

They settled in, and snuggled close. Both of them holding on to each other, not wanting the night to end, knowing the morning would bring her departure. Fitz put his hand on the back of her neck and leaned in for kiss. At first it was soft and slow just like in the Rose Garden but eventually he was on top of her, and the intensity had increased dramatically. His hands ran up her spine, underneath her shirt.

Olivia had wanted this for weeks now, but something felt wrong. and she pulled away. As much as Fitz assured her Mellie hadn't been sleeping in here, that it wasn't Mellie's house or bed, it just felt wrong, and uncomfortable. She had waited for this, she wanted this moment to be perfect, and the last thing she wanted was to be thinking about Mellie. Olivia sat up, her back against the pillows.

"I'm sorry," he sighed, positioning himself so he was sitting next to her. He assumed she had been turning so hot and cold because of everything she had been through. He didn't want her to feel pressured.

"I just don't want to do this here," she said looking around at the room. She was clearly uncomfortable. That was the last thing he wanted.

Fitz tucked her hair behind her ear. "Baby, it's ok, come here," he assured her pulling her close again. Olivia sighed. He was being so patient and understanding. She wasn't sure what had changed, but he wasn't letting her push him away anymore, and it was assuring and attractive, and everything she ever wanted him to be. Fitz pulled the covers back up over them, and they cuddled into bed and fell asleep for the second night in a row, wrapped up in each other.

But all too soon the morning light was shining through the curtains. Fitz had woken early, lacking the ability to sleep in, an occupational hazard of sorts. He stayed in bed, watching her sleep, marveling at her beauty, trying to push back the tears at the thought that she would be gone in a few hours. It seemed like she had just gotten there. His wheels were spinning on how to make all of this their new reality as soon as humanly possible.

Olivia's eyes fluttered open, and the first thing she saw was Fitz's face inches from hers. She couldn't have asked for a better way to wake up. "Hi," she smiled giving him a morning breath kiss, that neither of them minded.

"Hi," he replied, his hand finding hers, as their fingers intertwined. He pulled her hand up to his lips. "I've been stalling, I don't want to get out of bed,"Fitz sighed.

Olivia knew she couldn't stay too long. There was no telling when Mellie would be back, and accepting of the situation or not, Olivia didn't want the run in. She looked away from Fitz, leaving him was going to be really difficult.

Fitz had been thinking about the next opportunity they would have to spend time together all morning. He knew that two weeks from now, he would be able to get away. He hoped she would be agreeable. "Hey, look at me," he said concerned. Olivia obliged. "A week from Friday, the election will be over, I have my schedule cleared. Let's go to the house," he said simply.

Olivia smiled "Vermont?" She asked, clearly excited by the idea. Fitz could see the light in her eyes. He nodded, and she continued. "That is the best idea, Fitz," she said placing a quick kiss on his cheek.

His proposal of Vermont lightened the mood just had he hoped. It was one thing to have to leave her, but if they didn't have plans to see each other again, it was more than his heart could handle.

"I should probably go make Teddy breakfast," Fitz grumbled. He always made breakfast for Teddy on Sunday's because he could get away with spending most of the day in the residence. He usually loved his Sunday breakfasts with Teddy, but today he really just wanted to stay in bed. But, It was a weekly event Teddy looked forward to. He had to follow through. "Do you think you could stay for a little bit?" He asked her.

Olivia was honored to be invited to something that was their thing. She hadn't planned on staying through breakfast, but she didn't want to miss spending more time with Fitz, or Teddy. She was surprised at how attached she was to the little boy after just spending a few days with him. "I wouldn't miss it," she answered.

Fitz gave her one more quick kiss and then rolled out of bed, and put on a shirt. "I'll see you out there," he winked at her before disappearing into the hall.

Olivia showered and got her stuff together before finding Fitz and Teddy in the kitchen. She didn't think she could be more attracted to him, until she saw him in his boxers, flipping pancakes while his son looked on.

"Livia!" Teddy exclaimed as she walked in the room, coming over to give her a hug.

Bending down and picking up the little boy, she carried him over to Fitz and they watched on as he cooked. "What's dad doing over here, Teddy?" She asked him playfully.

"Pancakes!" Teddy yelled excitedly clapping his hands. "My dad's a good cook," he told Olivia.

She played along, "oh is he now?"

Teddy scrunched his nose. "Well, sometimes he burns them," he whispered into Olivia's ear loud enough for Fitz to hear. Olivia smiled.

"Hey, it was one time," Fitz defended himself laughing.

Their moment was broken when they were all startled by the shrill voice behind them. "Well, isn't this just the cutest little thing," Mellie noted in her fakest happy tone.

The tension of the moment was lost on Teddy. "Hi mom," he waved from Olivia's arms. The awkwardness of the situation might have been unknown to Teddy, but Olivia was feeling it enough for everyone. She put Teddy down, expecting him to run to his mom he hadn't seen in days. Instead he climbed up to his chair at the table, and didn't interact with her at all. Fitz put a plate of pancakes in front of him as a distraction.

Mellie was staring daggers at Olivia, and Fitz stepped up to his wife, blocking her view. He wanted to shield Olivia from this moment, and he didn't want to argue with Teddy right there. "Do not make a scene," he whispered to her so that their son could not hear. "You knew this was happening, and don't pretend you didn't expect to find her here, you weren't going to back for hours. You want to climb the political ladder, you want to be the next one with all this power, that's fine. I'll help you get there. But all I want is to be with her. Us getting to what we want, this is what that looks like right now," he said sternly but quietly.

"That does not mean I have to like walking in on this sickening little family moment," she spat more loudly than Fitz would prefer. Olivia wanted to shield Teddy from the situation, so she sat down next to him and helped him cut is pancakes into little pieces, talking to him to try and create a diversion.

"Lower your voice, Mellie," Fitz warned. "I'm not at her apartment, just like you asked. I would have filed the paperwork for the divorce weeks ago, but you want to get elected, Mellie, and I'm respecting that. I'm doing that for you," he reminded her.

Mellie sighed, and left the kitchen without another word. Her anger was evident at the slamming of doors as she moved around the residence. She was hoping he'd let go of this silly divorce nonsense, but he still seemed pretty determined that he would file the papers once she was elected. She only had nine days to figure something out. Her mind was racing. She had to come up with something, time was ticking.

Once she was gone, Olivia knew it was her cue to leave too. "I guess I better be going," she announced. There would be no breakfast with Teddy and Fitz for her, the dream had been shattered by reality. This was still Mellie's house. Teddy was her son, and Fitz was still her husband.

"Livia, you should stay," Teddy said, sadly, looking up at her with his big brown eyes. His pouting made him look more like Fitz than ever before. But, Olivia couldn't stay. Teddy wouldn't understand the circumstances, so she needed to let him down gently.

"Sorry, buddy," she said leaning down to give him a hug. "But, I have to get going. We're going to hang out really soon though, ok?" She promised. Teddy nodded and hugged her tight.

Olivia blinked back her tears, as she broke the hug with the little boy. She left the kitchen to gather her things in the bedroom. Fitz excused himself from the kitchen, promising Teddy he would be right back, and went after her, finding her in his room. He stopped in the doorway. "Liv," his voice was thick with an apology.

"It's fine, Fitz," she snapped. Clearly it wasn't.

He walked over to her and put his arms around her. She responded by holding on tightly to him, and the tears she had been holding back poured out. She was audibly sobbing, and it was breaking his heart.

Olivia hated how emotional she had been lately. Everything had become so overwhelming. She was used to being so put together, and now she was anything but. She was not the girl who needed saved, she wasn't the girl who needed reassurance. But, something, somewhere had changed. Fitz was trying to save her. He was trying to save her from living in the shadows. He was trying to rescue her and bring her out into the light for everyone to see. Maybe, she thought, letting him be her knight it shining armor wasn't such a bad thing. She could take care of herself, if she had to. Olivia knew that much. But maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to have a partner to help you through.

"Liv, listen to me. Do not let her rattle you. You belong here. We belong together," he assured her. He was still holding her tight. He wasn't going to let her go until she really heard what he was saying. "You are everything to me. This house, this job, it doesn't mean anything without you. I need you. I can't breathe without you, Liv." He was assuring her of her value, he needed her to know how much she meant to him.

She was calming down, but still holding tightly to Fitz. "It's so hard to leave," she sniffled into his shirt.

The wind felt like it had been knocked out of him, they were both hurting, but he wanted to be strong for her. "I know, Liv, it's so hard to let you go," he kissed the top of her head. "But, we have a countdown, and I will see you in Vermont."

She pulled away, wiped her tears and nodded. Her eyes were red, and Fitz hated to have her go like this. As she grabbed her bag, Fitz made one last ditch effort to get her to stay a little longer. "You don't have to go just yet. You could stay."

His efforts were futile. "I should go," she said sadly. She looked up at him, and he was trying to get a read on her. He was afraid her last moments here were going to negate the last day and a half with her. In a moment she walked out the door and was gone. He didn't get a proper goodbye, he didn't get a kiss. He didn't even get to tell her he loved her.

Fitz was seething. Mellie's outburst did this. Fitz tried to be understanding where Mellie was concerned. He'd given her a pass on so many things because she's had it rough. They had both lost a child, they both sacrificed a lot to be in their positions. It was ok she wasn't particularly motherly to Teddy, it was ok that she was demanding and often times degrading. It was ok she tried to undermine FItz, because there was always some reason, some thing that had happened to her that could explain away her actions. But, at some point he couldn't just forgive her outbursts because he felt sorry for her, because of the guilt he felt. At some point he had to put his foot down, and that point was now.


	17. Chapter 17

"Just a second!" Olivia shouted as she began to unlock the plethora of locks on her door. It had been a long day since she left the White House, but she had gone to run some errands, gone over to the offices continuing to sort through paperwork, and went for an evening run before having dinner.

When she opened the door, she found Abby standing there. "How are you?" the red-head greeted her with a smile and a small hug.

Olivia smiled. "Fitz?" She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he had sent Abby to check on her. It was a thoughtful gesture, because he knew Olivia wouldn't call anyone for company, even if she desperately needed it.

Abby nodded, unbuttoning her coat. "I see you got his flowers," she said looking over at the giant bouquet of lilly's over on Olivia's piano.

"They were here when I got back, the man wastes no time. I guess when you're the president, you can make just about anything happen at the snap of your fingers," Olivia answered. Anything but getting a divorce, and moving on, she thought to herself.

Abby pulled a bottle of red wine out of her bag. "I thought you might need this," she said holding the bottle up.

Olivia grabbed two wine glasses from her cabinet, and set them down on her coffee table. "Thanks for this, Abby, for coming over, for the wine." Olivia didn't love the fact that she was leaning on people lately, but she couldn't deny that it was nice to have her friends around her.

"Did he tell you about this morning?" Olivia asked taking a large sip of wine. As perfect as it was to spend the weekend with Teddy and Fitz, she couldn't get past the way that it ended, with Mellie reminding Olivia that everything she wanted, Mellie had.

Shaking her head, Abby wanted to clarify her relationship with Fitz. They may be friendly, and he did reach out to her for Olivia's sake, but they weren't calling each other talking about his feelings. Abby was simply a bridge, a bridge that Fitz very much appreciated, but still, just a bridge.

Telling Abby about the weekend, and how it all ended, Olivia had finished one glass of wine, and was on to the second. She didn't omit much of anything, taking care of Teddy, the argument they had in the Oval, the moment in the rose garden, and this morning with Mellie.

Abby was stunned, but for a wide variety of reasons. First of all, she was shocked at how open her friend was being. In all the years they had known each other, Olivia wasn't one to sit around and talk about her personal life, especially not in the last couple of years. The way Olivia was glowing when she talked about her time with Teddy also came as a surprise. Not to mention, Abby couldn't believe Mellie's little stunt.

"She wasn't even supposed to be back until late tonight!" Abby announced appauled. With access to the First Lady's schedule, Abby knew Mellie came back early just to rattle Olivia. "That meeting with her tomorrow morning ought to be interesting," Abby said sarcastically.

Olivia wasn't aware of any meeting and her raised eyebrows told Abby as much. "Tomorrow morning, the president, Cyrus, Mellie and I have a meeting to discuss the final push for her campaign. I'm sure Mellie's camp will be there, that wretched Elizabeth North and all," Abby clarified. "I mean, I know why the president needs her to get elected and all, so of course I want to help, but nobody is looking forward to that meeting, besides Mellie who's been begging for it for weeks."

Fitz had told Olivia that Mellie needed to win, and had she thought about it, she would have understood why. But honestly, Mellie's Senate bid was the last thing on her mind. Hearing Abby talk about it, Olivia wass getting a sense of how important it was to Fitz that Mellie win, and she was finally understanding his reasons. "He has to have something to dangle in front of her, something she could lose. Something he could take away," Olivia said thinking out loud.

"If she has nothing to lose, she becomes a very real threat to your happiness, Liv, not to mention the rest of Fitz's administration," Abby confirmed.

"But, why hasn't he asked me for help?" Olivia asked confused. She didn't want to offend her friend, Abby would have some great ideas. But nobody was better at shaping public opinion than Olivia.

Abby took another drink of wine. "I just don't think he wants to involve you, Liv. And I'm not sure Mellie, no matter what advice you had, would be willing to listen to you."

Simultaneously, both friends gave each other a mischievous smile. "But, if I went in there with a plan, she'd have no idea it came from you." Abby was voicing exactly what Olivia was thinking.

They sat in silence, Olivia's wheels turning, for several minutes before she finally spoke. "Ok, here's what we need to do. Fitz is not exactly popular right now. Mellie needs to distance herself from Fitz, professionally. Not enough for people to think there's a huge disconnect there, but enough for her to look at her like she is her own person. Have her publicly disagree with his policies, have her talk about how she can change whats going on in Washington. Woman will eat it up, his wife out there, disagreeing with him, standing up for her beliefs. Focus on the fact that a married couple have wildly different views on the policies of Washington, and that's ok."

Olivia's eyes were bright, she was in true fixer mode. But, then a sadness washed over her. "But, they have to look like a family, too. The discord has to be professionally only. Add a couple of social events where they are together, smiling. Have Teddy there, and bring Karen home. Everyone will want to be them, a family with different views and opinions, but one who loves each other nonetheless."

Olivia got up and started to pace. "But we need to be careful, I know Fitz told Mellie about ther papers, and he said she was going to sign them. But, I saw her today, Abby, she is up to something. I don't think she has any intention on signing those papers. So, you need to sell the happy family bit, maybe she'll buy into it with the rest of America, because if she does, I think the plotting will stop. I think the manipulation will stop. We need to give her a false sense of security, I know it seems mean and harsh, and Fitz wants to play this above board. But, she's plotting and planning. That needs to end. We have to make sure she won't be able to stop the divorce. The best way to do that, is for her not to see it coming."

Abby felt for her friend. Seeing the first family splashed all over the TV for the next week was not going to be easy on her. Olivia shook her head, trying to distance herself emotionally. "Then, when Fitz divorces her, he'll look like the bad guy. He'll look like he couldn't take being married to a strong, opinionated woman like Mellie. His approval ratings might sink, and he might look bad, but he's done a lot of good for this country, and eventually his legacy will vindicate him of any unsavory views because of his personal life. Mellie will get what she wants, she'll be a Senator. She'll come out looking strong and sticking to her convictions, even if it came at the cost of her marriage. It really could work," Olivia said, the light returning to her eyes, sitting back down on her white couch.

"And don't forget, then Fitz gets what he wants to. He gets you," Abby smiled at her friend, and the two clinked wine glasses.

Fitz had spent his afternoon with Teddy. He had hoped Olivia would stay through the day, and his schedule was virtually clear. Avoiding Mellie, he had hoped to avoid another confrontation. He called Karen, and discussed the possibility of her coming home after this semester, and she was elated. Boarding school was difficult for her since Jerry died, and despite the issues she had with both her parents, she really just wanted to come home.

He could only avoid Mellie for so long, after he had put Teddy to bed, he was in the living room looking over paperwork, when Mellie strolled in. She sat down on the opposite side of the couch and smiled, a very fake smile, at Fitz.

He put down his papers and looked up at her. "What do you want, Mel?" He was tired, and not looking forward to hearing her whining.

Mellie's fake smile remained. It was always a dead giveaway when she was clenching her teeth. "Nothing, honey," she replied, her words dripping with contempt. "Just here to see how my husband is doing."

This game playing was getting really old for Fitz. He wanted nothing to do with it. "I'm really busy, so lets just cut to the part where you get angry with me and storm off to plot some new scheme on how to make sure that divorce never happens." She knew he meant it, based on his dismissive tone.

Realizing that she wasn't getting anywhere, she decided to try a new tactic. "I'm sorry about Olivia this morning," Mellie apologized. Her words were not genuine, that much was obvious.

"Don't apologize just for the sake of apologizing, Mellie. It's unbecoming. Just cut the crap," He said, still not making eye contact, and instead choosing to focus on the paperwork in front of him.

Mellie's tone changed. She was cutting to the chase, Fitz could tell that much. "I was just making sure we're still on for our meeting tomorrow." Her voice was perky but shaky.

Fitz immediately understood why she was there, after her little outburst, she had time to think, which resulted in a fear that he could cancel their meeting. As much as he wanted to cancel and send Mellie away, he also knew he needed to pander to her a little while longer. There was no sense making her angry. Then she would just become unpredictable, and that was the last thing he needed.

"Yes, Mellie." Fitz spoke as though he was talking to his mother who had just nagged him to do his chores. But somehow, Mellie didn't seem to catch it.

"That's fantastic. I will see you then," she exclaimed in her most excited voice while clapping her hands together.

Mellie left the room with a bounce in her step, and Fitz let out a sigh. He tried so hard not to be mean, but Mellie was becoming delusional and he couldn't take much more.

The countdown remained, nine days from right now, they would be watching returns come in. He could only hope that those returns would favor his wife for the Virginia senate, so that she could become his ex wife.

Finishing his work, Fitz headed down to his room. It felt so empty and lonely without Olivia. Sitting on the same couch they were cuddled up on just last night, he dialed her number. She picked up immediately.

"Hi," her voice wasn't as sad as the last time he had talked to her.

"Hi," he responded. Their usual greeting always had a very calming effect on both of them.

Olivia thanked him for her flowers, and the two of them talked about their day. Eventually, she got around to telling him that Abby had been there.

"Of course you already knew that, since you sent her here," Olivia said, playfully calling him out.

Their light, friendly conversation began to take a different tone. "I just didn't want you to be alone," he explained.

"I know, it was a lovely gesture. We talked about your meeting with Mellie tomorrow." The last thing Olivia wanted to do was to talk about Mellie, especially after this morning.

Bringing her up made Fitz uncomfortable as well, it was evident by his sigh. But, Olivia needed to talk about it, to give Fitz a heads up. "Tomorrow, when Abby talks about her plan to get Mellie elected, you have to agree with her. Do what she says."

Eyebrows raised, Fitz could see exactly where this was heading. "It's not really Abby's plan, is it?"

"Well, in order for Mellie to listen, it needs to be Abby's plan," Olivia smiled.

"Ever the fixer," Fitz remarked. If she wanted to get her hands in this, he wasn't going to argue. Olivia always said she was the best, and he knew it to be true. He had been on the other side of Olivia Pope before, and it was brutal. The woman always had cards left to play.

"I miss you," Olivia told him, suddenly realizing it was getting late, and she would have to sleep alone tonight.

"Liv, I miss you too," he said his voice dripping with his own angst of not having his arms around her tonight.

"I guess I should go," she said, sadly.

"I love you, Olivia," he responded. His words were slow and meaningful. She felt the flutter in her stomach. He always gave her butterflies.

"I love you too, Fitz," she whispered so quietly he almost couldn't hear her.

He hung up the phone, showered, and got into bed. It was too big, cold, and lonely without her. He pulled the pillow she had slept on last night to his face. It still smelled like her. He wanted to go to her, consequences be damned. But, he had to be patient.

Tomorrow they would be one day closer.


	18. Chapter 18

The next morning, Fitz was in the Oval. He had just had his morning briefings with Cyrus and Abby, when Lauren let the president know the First Lady was on her way down. Cyrus had been fidgeting all morning. He hated the idea of Mellie running for Senate. Anything that was a threat to Fitz's power was a threat to his own, and the First Lady running for office was as big of threat as he could think of. He had stopped voicing his displeasure though, because nobody seemed to be listening.

Mellie strolled in the office, Elizabeth North not far behind her. Sitting down on the couch across from Fitz, and next to Cyrus, with impeccable posture, Mellie straightened out her skirt and plastered a fake smile on her face. "Good morning, everyone. I am just so delighted that we can all get on board for this one final push before election day."

Cyrus rolled his eyes, while Abby stared daggers at Mellie. Her friendliness, her smiles, they were all hallow, and everyone in that room was more than aware of that fact. However, Mellie was on, just like always. It made Abby naucious that she was going to have to pander to this woman.

Elizabeth North was an entirely different animal, she was the female version of Cyrus, ready to latch on to Mellie for the ride through the Senate and back to the Oval Office. She offered nothing of real value, and was more just there to do all of Mellie's dirty work for her, so the First Lady could sit there in her designer clothes, with her perfectly coiffed hair, and look like the sweet southern belle she portrayed herself to be.

"I think we really need to talk about the latest polls. It's close, too close to call right now, and we desperately need something to push us over the edge," Elizabeth said looking through her notes. Everyone could tell she was overwhelmed.

Abby took this as her cue. "I think I have some ideas, if we can all agree we will need to make some sacrifices here to get Mrs. Grant elected."

Fitz smiled. He knew where this was coming from. "Whatever it takes to make Mellie Grant, the Senator," he agreed. Abby noted how much better he could fake enthusiasm than Mellie. Although, she thought to herself, maybe his enthusiasm wasn't fake, maybe he was just anxious to get to the end of this ordeal and move on with Olivia.

"I think you need to distance yourself from the president, Mrs. Grant. He's not exactly popular," Abby stated nervously. She was relaying the message, but she also didn't want her boss, the president, upset with her. Fitz raised his eyebrows, but nodded for her to continue. "At least politically. You need to put it out there that you don't agree with your husband's policies. People don't want to elect President Grant as Senator, and you have tto let them know that isn't what they are getting. If anything, you want them to think that you can direct the White House, not that the White House is directing you."

A look of concern washed over Mellie. "You want me to throw Fitz under the bus? How does that elect me?" she asked.

This is good, Abby thought to herself, she wasn't ruling it out, but she was questioning how that was beneficial to her.

"Absolutely not," Cyrus chimed in. "I am not about to have the First Lady up there making the President look like a whipped husband."

"Cy," Fitz warned. Cyrus wasn't going to be pleased with anything that involved Mellie's campaign, and Fitz couldn't exactly tell him that he was doing all of this so he could divorce his wife and marry Olivia while in office. That would send Cyrus over the edge. "Go ahead, Abby," he encouraged.

"You want to look like who you are, Mrs. Grant, a strong confident woman, with her own views, and her own ambition." Abby was clearly buttering her up. She wasn't going to make a habit of complimenting the First Lady, but she could suck it up for the issue at hand.

Mellie nodded, she seemed to be listening to the redhead. Elizabeth scribbled some notes down and looked up at everyone. "I think it's a great idea. We have been either been agreeing or staying neutral in anything the White House is doing, avoiding the conversation. I think honesty could be refreshing," Elizabeth agreed. "But, we don't want it to look like there's tension between the Grants," she added.

This is too easy, Abby thought to herself. Elizabeth and Mellie were feeding right into her hand. "I agree, completely, we need to add some social events to the schedule with the First Family. Let's get Karen home, bring Teddy out on the trail. Then you're painting a picture of a family people want to get behind. Mrs. Grant is out there during the day, disagreeing with her husband's policies, being her own woman, but in the evenings she'll look like an ordinary wife and mother. People will relate."

Elizabeth smiled, "Yes, that's a great idea. She'll look like a strong and independent wife and mother, the voters will love it."

But Elizabeth was the only one smiling. Cyrus clearly hated the idea of the White House looking like they didn't have a handle on the First Lady. Mellie's face was filled with concern. It was obvious she agreed that it was a good plan, but she wasn't sure Fitz would be on board.

The whole room was looking at Fitz, who had a concerned thoughtful look on his face. If Fitz was being honest, he loathed the idea. Parading his kids around, and pretending to be a happily married couple for the next week was the last thing he wanted to do. But, Olivia had told him to do whatever Abby was suggesting, so he knew this was a plan she wanted him to go along with. If the ends would justify the means, he would just have to suck it up. "Ok," Fitz agreed.

Cyrus threw his hands in the air, clearly exasperated, while Mellie and Elizabeth smiled brightly. Abby and Fitz, meanwhile, shared a look. They might not have discussed the plan or Olivia this morning, but they were both completely on the same page.

"I'll clear my schedule as best I can, we'll get Karen home, and we'll head out to Virginia." Fitz stood up and walked over to his desk. Everyone was shocked at how smoothly this had all gone. Abby was pleased with herself on how well she had manipulated the whole room. She had learned a thing or two from Olivia Pope for sure.

"I will schedule some social events, then." Elizabeth noted gathering her things and leaving the room.

Cyrus didn't say anything, but the anger in his eyes was evident as he stormed out. Abby excused herself and headed down to her office. She wanted to call Olivia to let her know how it had gone, but she figured that the president would want to be the one to give her the news. Not only that, the look on Fitz's face when she suggested stepping out with the First Lady had told her he had no idea that was part of the plan. She knew the two of them would need to have an honest discussion about all of this soon.

Mellie stayed behind. "Fitz, is this all ok with you, being on the trail with me, supporting me so publicly ?" She asked hopefully.

"It's fine, Mel. I told you I'd do whatever it takes to get you elected," he told her in a dismissive tone.

Probably because Mellie wanted to believe that he was fine with it she took his words at face value. "Great, I'll see you soon then," she smiled brightly. Turning on her heel, Mellie walked out of the Oval. As soon as the door closed, Fitz had the phone in his hand.

"Get me Olivia Pope," he said into the phone with a sigh.

Olivia was in the middle of a meeting with one of her long time clients, she had been making the rounds, trying to set her clients up with Leo and some of her other connections. She didn't just want to bolt and run away like the last time, she wanted to make sure she did it right this time. When her phone rang, she excused herself from her office and went into the hall at OPA.

"It's a good plan, Fitz," she said as she picked up her phone. Olivia was aware of the reason for this call, and was already on the defense.

But, she didn't need to be. "I know it's a good plan, it came from Olivia Pope," he said light heartedly.

"Then why the mid morning phone call?" She asked playfully.

"I just wondered how the love of my life was doing, can't I just call you?" He flirted.

"Not when you have a world to run," Olivia quipped back.

There was a moment of silence, and Olivia could tell the conversation was about to take on a really different feel. "Do I really have to go out there and campagin? Pretend to be a happy family? Have the media cover it, and know you're watching?" Fitz asked, clearly concerned about Olivia.

"I know you want to be honest with her, and that's admirable, Fitz. But I saw that look in her eyes, and she is plotting something. I think it's better if you table the divorce discussions while you convince the country you're a happy, loving, dedicated couple." Olivia was in true fixer mode, staying one step ahead.

"I can't lead her on, Liv," he answered, not completely sure that was exactly what she was asking of him.

"That's not what I'm asking, but maybe if you fake it for the American people, she'll buy into it just a little bit too," Olivia reasoned. Fitz's groan on the other end of the phone let her know he was listening, but not happy about what she was saying. "I'm sorry, Fitz, but maybe if she doesn't see divorce papers as imminent, she will let go of whatever it is she's up to."

"Ok, I trust you," he relented. "But do me a favor?"

"Anything, Fitz," she said softly.

"Don't watch the news. There will be footage of us everywhere. I do not want you to have to see that." He was concerned about her, they were in the home stretch, yet Olivia was still being subjected to watching him with another woman. His head would spin if it was Olivia with someone else, and he knew, as much as she wouldn't say it, that it was going to hurt her. Besides that, his skin was crawling just thinking about pretending to be a couple with Mellie.

"I have to know how it's going," Olivia argued.

"I'm sure Abby can fill you in," Fitz told her. "After everything you've been through the last thing you need is to watch packaged news footage of that crap, Liv. Please," he was practically begging now.

Olivia had no option but to agree. "Ok, I won't watch."

"Thank you, Liv. I hate all of this." Once again, Fitz felt defeated. He just wanted to be with Olivia, and deal with the fallout. "I thought I was done being on the trail."

"Oh come on, you loved the trail. It'll be just like that, except without all the late night hotel room visits," Olivia reminded him, smiling at the memories. She was hoping to lighten his mood.

Fitz let out a small laugh. "But that was my favorite part."

"Mine too," she said smiling.

"Well, I guess I have to go. Duty calls, you know, running a country and all. Today, amongst other things, I get to check out Science Fair Projects from fifth graders." Fitz liked the lighter aspects of his job, meeting with kids, traveling the world, playing tennis with world leaders, filling out March Madness Brackets for the country to analyze. It really broke up the seriousness of being president. After all, as much as the media liked to forget it, he was just a regular guy at heart.

"Well, by all means, don't let me keep you from home made volcanoes, and blue ribbons." Olivia was happy to be ending the conversation on a lighter note.

The two hung up and went on about their day. Fitz was back in the Oval after he had tucked Teddy in, going over the various things that had crossed his desk while he was busy with the Science Fair kids. On the very top of the pile was a revised schedule for the next week.

As he looked it over, it was almost amusing. Listed were things like 'Spontaneous family dinner', but the name of the restaurant, the location, and the time, were all listed. A menu was even included. His marriage wasn't the only thing that was staged. It seemed nearly everything in his life was the result of a careful placement for a public relations battle he constantly seemed to be losing.

Based on this new schedule, he would be a very busy man. He had meetings and commitments that couldn't be moved just for Mellie's campaign, so he'd be bouncing back and forth between Virginia and D.C. As he looked over his schedule, there was a knock on the door.

Before he knew it, Karen was in his office, throwing down her backpack, and giving her dad a hug. "So, what exactly am I doing here? I know we talked about me coming home, but I know you want me to wait until the end of the semester," his daughter asked him, using her fingers to comb through her long brown hair.

"Your mom needs the support for her campaign, Karen," Fitz told her honestly. Despite the welcomed hug, Karen was still very cold. They were nearing the one year mark since Jerry had died, and Karen seemed to be taking it harder now than when it first happened. Fitz had made a point to call her often at boarding school, but it wasnt enough. That was part of the reason why he wanted her to come home, he wanted to fix the disconnect between himself and his only daughter.

Karen rolled her eyes. She hated being used a pawn in her parents political ambitions. "I kind of can't believe she's even doing this, after everything," Karen mumbled, now slouching on the couch with her arms crossed. She looked like a petulant child, but Fitz was fully aware she wasn't a child anymore. Perhaps if he treated her less like a child, and more like the adult she was becoming, her attitude would improve.

Fitz looked at her for a long time, having walked to the front of the desk, he was now leaning on it for support, his legs outstretched in front of him, debating what to tell Karen next. Finally, he decided to be honest. He was putting a lot of trust into her, but he was confident she could and would handle it appropriately.

"I need to tell you something, but I also need you not to tell anyone about it, Karen." he told her sternly.

Karen's body language changed immediately following her father's words. She sat up and leaned inward toward Fitz. She nodded in agreement, and swallowed hard as if she was bracing for something.

"Olivia was kidnapped," he told her seriously, searching her eyes for a reaction.

"Oh my God, dad, you have to find her. You have to get her back," Karen was obviously alarmed. She had become fond of Olivia on the trail, and during the first few weeks at the White House. It wasn't as though they had kept in touch, but Karen had called Olivia when she got in trouble after Jerry had died, so Fitz knew there was some connection there.

"I did, she's back," Fitz quickly clarified. "But, when she was gone, I realized something," he added, ready to tell his daughter about his love for Olivia for the very first time.

"That you can't live without her," Karen replied. She was no idiot, Karen had seen the way the two of them looked at each other, and she had been around for years before Mellie and Fitz became the first couple, she was fully and painfully aware how wrong her parents were for each other.

Fitz was at a loss for words. He had no idea Karen had any inkling about his feelings for Olivia. His look of surprise, caused the teenager to continue. "You're not as good at hiding your feelings as you think you are, dad."

"For Olivia's safety, though, the kidnapping needs to stay out of the press," Fitz warned his daughter.

"I wouldn't tell anyone, dad. I like Olivia. I don't want anything to happen to her either. But, if you want to be with Olivia, that still doesn't answer my question of why I am here," Karen was confused on the plan.

The next hour, Karen spent talking with her dad. He explained the kidnapping, the extortion and blackmail, and the importance of Mellie's campaign. She appeared to take it much better than he had given her credit for.

"If mom wants to be Senator, if you want to be with Olivia, you guys should do what it takes. Life is too short to live without who or what you love most," Karen told her dad honestly. Her brother dying right in front of her, certainly had changed her perspective on the world. She was very wise for her years.

In that moment, Fitz couldn't have been more proud of his little girl. With that conversation out of the way, it was time to rest up for the week ahead. "Let's head up to the residence," he told his daughter, turning off the lights in the Oval. One more day down, Fitz thought to himself.

Just one more week to go.


	19. Chapter 19

The next few days were extremely busy for all the Grants, but Fitz in particular. He would spend his days in D.C, and his evenings in Virginia, creating photo op after photo op for Mellie's Senate campaign. It was hard to stomach, but he was doing it only for his end game of Vermont.

The best part of this whole ordeal was having time to spend with Teddy and Karen. He hadn't missed bedtime stories with Teddy, and he had snuck out one night for late night ice cream with his daughter. The two talked about Olivia, and Fitz made it a point to be as open and honest with Karen as he could be. As much as being without Olivia was difficult for him, he just kept telling himself it was only a few more days.

Olivia, meanwhile, had not kept her promise to Fitz. She'd been watching the news, and seeing the First Family all together, was just as upsetting and heart wrenching as he had predicted it would be. Everywhere she looked Mellie and Fitz were holding hands, and smiling and waving, looking like the happiest, perfect couple. It was like watch a car crash though, she just couldn't seem to look away.

Knowing Fitz better than anyone, she could see the sadness behind his smile, even if the cameras could not. The press went wild for the First Family all together, not since JFK had a young child been in the White House like Teddy, and the fascination was certainly there. As hard as it was to watch, the plan was working. Everyone was talking about what an inspiration Mellie Grant was, a true modern woman, one Virginia would be lucky to have represent them in the Senate.

Her phone calls with Fitz had been few and far between, but Abby had made sure to check in frequently. Olivia had gone to dinner with Huck and his family, and realized that if Huck could become a domesticated family man, just about anyone could change. Quinn, meanwhile, continued to help her pack up the office and speak with clients.

She had to look at what Fitz was doing the same way she was looking at what she had been doing. Olivia was getting everything in order to work towards being together, and Fitz was just doing the same.

Two days before the election, Olivia locked the door to OPA for the final time. Tears stung her eyes as she drove away. It was the end of an era, but it was a necessary step to take. Her heart wasn't in it anymore. But without knowing when Vermont would be happening, she needed to figure out what was next for her. She couldn't just sit around and wait.

It was midnight when a knock came at her door. John, as always, was out in the hall with a couple of other Secret Service Agents, and she figured it was just one of them checking in on her, but when she opened the door she couldn't have been more surprised at the person standing in front of her.

"Hi," his bright blue-grey eyes greeted her, a smile on his face.

Panic washed over her. "What are you doing here? You can't be here!" She lectured him.

"No, hi, hello, how are you?" he feigned upset. But Olivia's face told him she was not in a playful mood. His tone changed as he reached out to bring his hand to her face. "I couldn't do it anymore, I had to see you."

"The election is days away, Fitz. This is reckless. What if someone finds out you're here?" she questioned him. As happy as she was in her heart of hearts to see him, she couldn't shake the fixer in her.

"Listen to me, I was at the hotel in Virginia, and left to come back to D.C as scheduled. I just may have created a diversion at the airport and gotten in an unmarked car instead of the motorcade. Nobody knows Liv, just my agents outside. I'm going back to the White House, just like everyone expects me to. But I couldn't wait until next weekend to see you. Even if it's just for a few minutes. I need those few precious minutes. I need you," his smile was contagious, and she relaxed a little at his reasoning, but he could tell by the look on her face, she wasn't convinced.

"Livie, I am always doing what everyone else wants me to do. I'm just tired of it, and I wanted to do something for me, for us. I wanted to see you. Please." She hated how damn charismatic he was, and she finally opened the door wide enough to let him in.

Pulling him into her apartment, he immediately went in for a kiss. It was as though it had been years since he had seen her, not a week. This election could not be over soon enough.

"Fitz, if Mellie finds out you're here..." He put his finger up to her lips to silence her, and she trailed off.

"I. needed. to. see. you.,"he told her again, this time slowly with kisses in between each word.

Olivia didn't have the will power to send him away. "Ok, but just for a little bit. The longer you stay, the more risky this is. I don't even want to think what will happen if Mellie finds out," she warned. Fitz nodded in agreement.

She missed him just as much as he missed her. Grabbing his hands, she guided him over to the couch, where they sat down and cuddled up next to each other, with Olivia practically in his lap. Fitz had one arm around her, his other hand intertwined with her fingers. He desperately wanted to spend this time as close to her as possible. It took everything in him not to take her back to the bedroom and make love to her all night long. But, he knew he wouldn't be able to stay, and he knew if they made love he wouldn't be able to leave.

As they sat there in silence, she was clinging to him as if he were a life preserver and she was alone in the middle of the ocean waiting to be rescued. He put his head on top of hers and inhaled her scent. It was intoxicating.

"I left OPA for the last time today," she mumbled into his chest. "I know it's the right thing to do, but it was difficult." Olivia was sad, and he hated to see her like this.

Fitz didn't know to respond, so he held her closer and kissed the top of her head. She looked up at him with her big brown eyes, and he felt as though his heart was going to burst. He was so in love with her. "Do you have any idea how amazing you are?" He asked her, knowing full well that she didn't give herself enough credit.

Olivia blushed. Fitz was everything she ever wanted, and she wished desperately that their paths would have crossed sooner. It was so complicated and messy now. "I love you, Fitz," she said breathlessly.

His world stopped in that moment, she hardly ever told him she loved him, and when she did it was usually in response to him opening up his feelings. "God, Liv, I'm so in love with you,"he responded, trying not to sound shocked.

He gently brought his lips to hers. His kisses were soft and warm, and she was melting into them. But, they broke their kiss when there was a knock on the door. Fitz's heart filled with dread. His agents wouldn't be knocking unless he was needed somewhere else.

Fitz opened the door to find one of his agents. "Sir, the First Lady has been trying to get ahold of you, it seems she wanted to check in and make sure you got back to the White House," his agent informed him.

Damn it, Fitz thought to himself. Somehow Mellie was ruining this for him. Only a few more days, and he wouldn't have to pander to her. Fitz thanked his agents, and let them know he'd be ready to head back to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in a few minutes. Then he looked back towards Olivia, an apology written all over his face.

"It's ok," she told him. But the tears that were filling her eyes told him a very different story. This was not ok, and nothing he could do would make it ok.

"Baby, I'm so sorry, if I had known she was going to do this, to check up on me, so I could only be here for a little bit, I wouldn't have come." He told Olivia sadly.

But she shook her head and wiped the stray tear that had fallen from her eyes. "No, I'm glad you came. Something is better than nothing," she smiled sadly. She drug herself from the couch and over to Fitz, to help him put his suit jacket back on.

"I will see you Friday, in Vermont. Then it's just us for the whole weekend," he said optimistically, looking down into her eyes.

"I'll be there," she agreed. Fitz placed a quick kiss on her lips, and disappeared out into the hall.

It was difficult to see him leave, and sleep that night would not come easy. She finally fell asleep shortly after the sun came up. Only a few hours later, she was being awoken by her cell phone ringing.

"Olivia Pope," she answered trying her best not to sound groggy or tired.

It was a producer for BNC News. Their analyst had fallen through for their afternoon show, and they wanted Olivia to fill in. It was election eve, and Olivia with her vast knowledge of the political landscape of Washington was an obvious substitute. Quickly, in her head, Olivia weighed the pros and the cons of doing the show. It would look bad for sure, when the news came out about her and Fitz, but according to their plan they wouldn't be publicly jumping into anything until a few months after the divorce was final, maybe even after Fitz had gone on a few high profile "dates". On the pro list, this was her chance to do her part to help get Mellie elected, which was what needed to happen first for this plan to work at all. Olivia agreed, and the stage was set.

Though it was the day before the election, Fitz was back in D.C. Besides Mellie's election, there were still important races he needed to watch as President of the United States. Truth be told, he was happy to be spending today in D.C., and not out on the trail for one last push for Senator Mellie Grant. He couldn't stomach any more photo ops, and he had plenty of work to attend to at the White House. Karen and Teddy had been brought back to D.C. as well, with Fitz's urging. It might have been election eve but today was also marking one year since Jerry had died.

He worked through the day, but he was in a fog. So much had happened in the last year, and it was hard to breathe thinking about everything Jerry had not been there for. If he had learned anything from his son's death, he had realized life was much too short to be living a lie, to be unhappy. Over the course of his presidency, Fitz had been shot and nearly died, Jerry was murdered, and Olivia had been kidnapped. Nobody knew more than Fitz that life could change in an instant.

Fitz sat in the Oval, reflecting on the past year, when Cyrus entered in a huff. "Were you aware of Olivia's plans today?" he asked angrily.

Shaking his head, his interest was peaked. He hadn't spoken with Olivia since he left her apartment.

"Well she is on TV right now, spewing all kinds of compliments Mellie's way, and she's making you look like a weak, whipped little boy in the process." Cyrus clearly wasn't pleased. He'd never been on board with electing Mellie as Senator, and seeing Olivia on television rambling on about what a great politician Mellie Grant would be, was making his head spin.

A smile came across Fitz's face. Leave it to Olivia Pope to drum up support for a campaign in the final few moments. It was her way of helping the situation and Fitz loved it. "That's my girl," he said under his breath.

Olivia was holding her own on a panel of experts. "I really think, when you look at everything considered, Mellie Grant is the best person for the state of Virginia," she argued.

Other panelists argued back that Mellie already had a rather distinguished job as a wife and a mother, and First Lady of the United States. But these panelists were older, white males who seemed to be stuck in the 1950's, and Olivia was ready to expose them for their old fashioned sexist ways.

"You do realize this is 2015? A woman today wears many different hats. Just because she happens to be married to the president, doesn't mean she can't have her own career aspirations. She didn't sign up to be the First Lady, that job was given to her, simply because of the man she married. Mrs. Grant wants to earn this one on her own, on her merits, on her ability to represent the people of Virginia." Olivia was extremely convincing. She sounded like Mellie's biggest cheerleader.

When Mellie's lack of experience as an elected public figure was brought up, Olivia shot that down too. "Mellie Grant does not lack experience in the world of politics. She's simply been watching from the sidelines and studying the play book for years, and now she's ready to be put in the game. But, she's fresh and she's new, when everyone else had been going at this for far too long, without much success at all. It's time to get some new people in Congress." Olivia spoke clearly and confidently, hoping her words would get Mellie a few more votes.

As the show ended, and the bright lights were turned off, the producer thanked Olivia for her work. "You really helped us out, Ms. Pope, we appreciate it. You are welcome back here anytime," the voice came over the speaker from the control booth. Smiling and nodding, Olivia realized something else. She had just spoken out publicly in favor of Mellie. Everyone clearly knew her allegiance to the White House, and now it seemed obvious she was helping with the campaign. Nobody would bat an eye if she just happened to stop by the White House today.

She wasted no time, and before she knew it she was standing in the Oval Office waiting for Fitz to get back from a meeting. When the door opened, her eyes turned expecting to meet Fitz, but instead, she was looking at Fitz's daughter.

"Karen, I was just, I was here to, um," Olivia was suddenly very nervous and at a loss for words. Her palms were sweaty, and her heart was racing. She didn't know how much Karen knew, or how to explain her presence in the Oval Office.

"It's nice to see you, Olivia," Karen greeted her. "I just came down to see how much longer my dad was going to be," Karen's voice was soft and shaky. Olivia was more than aware that today was the anniversary of Jerry's death. It was part off the reason she had come to the White House, to check on Fitz. It was obvious in Karen's eyes that she was feeling the weight of the day on her shoulders as well.

"Oh, Karen," Olivia said sympathetically, realizing the teenager was on the verge of tears. She was having a difficult day, and just wanted to see her dad to help her through it. Tears began to roll down the girls cheeks, and Olivia rushed over to her without thinking. She wrapped her arms around Karen, and stroked her hair.

"I know today is hard, it's ok to be upset," Olivia consoled her. They broke away from the hug and Olivia guided Karen over to the couch to sit down.

Karen wiped her tears. "I feel like it isn't ok though, my mom just called and said she was hoping I'd go with her to an event tonight. I know the election is tomorrow and everything, and everyone is really busy, but she could have at least acknowledged my feelings about today, instead of just worrying about her campaign." Karen sounded so helpless and sad, and Olivia wanted desperately to make it better for her.

She pushed the girls hair behind her ear, and handed her a tissue. "Everyone grieves differently, maybe your mom is just channeling her grief into her work," Olivia noted. She wasn't trying to make excuses for Mellie, but she wanted to offer Karen an explanation. "I know that's what I do when things get tough for me," she added.

"Like, when my dad got shot?" Karen asked, blowing her nose into the tissue.

Olivia was taken back, suddenly the memories of the assassination attempt on Fitz came rushing in. The wind felt like it had been knocked out of her. It was heart breaking to even think about losing Fitz. "Something like that," Olivia responded quietly, refusing to make eye contact.

"Do you love my dad, Olivia?" Karen questioned. Olivia's eyes shot up to meet Karen's, her question taking her completely off guard. But, the teenager didn't look angry or upset, she looked sympathetic.

There was a long pause; Olivia didn't know how to answer. In response to the silence, Karen added "because he loves you."

Her heart dropped. Karen knew a lot more than Olivia could have imagined. It was ironic that Olivia had just been on national television holding her own with the most famous political analysts, but now a teenager had her speechless.

A tear ran down Olivia's cheek. "Karen, I..." she was trying to search for an explanation, but in reality there wasn't a good one. She had fallen in love with a married man, and carried on an affair with him for years. That man was already a husband and a father, and it was wrong on so many levels. But that man was also the love of her life.

The funny thing was, Karen didn't seem like she was waiting for an answer. It was all just statements coming from her. She felt bad for putting Olivia on the spot, and wanted to clarify. "Olivia, I've seen my parent's marriage for a long time now, and if there is anything I know, it's that those two are not married because they are in love. But the way my dad looks when he's talking about you, the way you can see his heart melt when you walk in a room, that's love, it's what movies are made of, it's what everyone wants in their lives."

Karen was wise beyond her years, and Olivia couldn't believe how sweet and understanding she was being. Fitz might have had his difficulties with his children at times, but Olivia thought the world of them.

"I am, I'm in love with your dad," Olivia finally answered, knowing Karen deserved honesty. She looked up for her eye's to meet Karen's, but Karen's eyes were focused behind Olivia. So, she turned around to see what Karen was looking at, only to find Fitz's tall frame standing the doorway.

He was smiling, tears in his eyes. To have found Olivia and Karen in the Oval, having a heart to heart, was more than he ever could have dreamed. Today was a terrible day, but in a moment, he had a sense of calm wash over him.

"Hi dad," Karen said, breaking the silence of the room. "I just came down to see if maybe you could talk to mom. I really don't want to have to go to that event. Not tonight." His daughter's eyes were pleading with him not to make her go.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to, you've helped so much with the campaigning this last week, I'm sure mom won't mind," Fitz told her, walking over to the couch and giving his daughter's shoulders a squeeze.

"Thanks, dad. I'll let you two talk," Karen said excusing herself from the room. "But, I'll see you up in the residence soon, right?" her voice was sad and quiet again.

"I'll be there," he promised her. Being president didn't stop for personal days, not even on the anniversary of your son's death, but Fitz had promised to spend as much time with Karen today as he could.

Karen said goodbye to Olivia, and gave her a small hug, before she disappeared out the Oval Office door.

"That is one amazing girl you have there, Fitz." Olivia knew how much being a good dad meant to Fitz, especially this past year, and she wanted to make sure he knew that she was impressed with his children.

His smile acknowledged what she had said. "Ah, that's all her, she's really turned herself around this year. So, Liv, what exactly are you doing in the White House, just after you lectured me about being in your apartment?" he asked playfully.

"Well, you might have heard I was on BNC today promoting Mellie for Senate. I figured I was so pro-Grant, nobody would bat an eye if I showed up to visit my idols in the White House," she answered back, smiling mischievously.

But, her smile faded quickly. "And, I know today is hard. I wanted to see how you were."

Fitz reached out for Olivia's hand and pulled her up to him. "Thank you," he said sincerely. His hands were resting on her waist, and the two were looking deeply into each other's eyes, when Olivia suddenly became acutely aware of the cameras, and pulled away.

As soon as her eyes went up to the ceiling, Fitz knew she was worried about the cameras. "Twenty-four hours from now, Virginians will be electing Mellie Grant their next Senator. And as soon as they do, I am all yours, Ms. Pope," he flirted.

"I hope so, Fitz. Every day is beginning to feel like an eternity,"she told him sadly.

Fitz didn't care about the cameras, he reached his hand out and pulled her close again, bringing his lips to hers. The kiss was slow, and soft, and Olivia could feel the love behind it. Fitz put his forehead to hers. He was just as tired of being apart from each other as she was. "I know, Liv. One more day, just one more day."

_Did you all watch the finale tonight? I liked it (for obvious reasons, though I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet) but it felt a little disjointed from the rest of the season for me. I do think the ending opened up a whole lot of new story lines, so I'm excited to see where season 5 goes. _


	20. Chapter 20

_Quick chapter tonight, I figure I had it all written this far, I should post it. Hope you all don't mind a short chapter. Happy Reading!_

Mellie woke Tuesday morning in Virginia. The skies were bright blue as far as the eye could see, with only a few puffy white clouds. It was election day, and she was feeling confident and calm. She had really done everything she possibly could, and hopefully by tonight she would be named the next Senator of the Virginia.

Meanwhile, in D.C, Fiitz had been up since before the sun. He was more anxious about this election than Mellie was. His every happiness was hanging in the balance, and he could only hope the voters would turn out for Mellie, so he could put an end to his farce of a marriage.

Across D.C, Olivia woke and immediately flipped on her TV to watch election coverage. Polls were just beginning to open, but she could hardly wait for all the votes to be counted. She was ready to move on, she was ready for Vermont. It had been a long, hard road from that very first day she met Fitz in Iowa to today.

By lunch time, Teddy, Karen and Fitz were all in Virginia with Mellie. The First Family was photographed and filmed everywhere they went. You would think Fitz was running for president again. Never had this much national interest been placed on a Senate Race. But this was new territory. A sitting First Lady running for an elected office had never been done before. Nobody was really sure how America would respond to that.

As Olivia watched the news, she cringed and looked away every time Mellie and Fitz were shown. Watching them hold hands made her nearly physically ill. But, nothing was more off putting than the way Mellie treated Teddy. When the cameras were on, there was Mellie holding his hand, picking him up, whispering in his ear. But, Olivia knew better. As soon as those cameras stopped rolling, Teddy was handed over to Fitz, or the nannies.

Karen looked off, too. Olivia couldn't pin point what it was. Of course she smiled and waved for the cameras, Karen knew how she was to behave in public. There seemed to be a sadness in her eyes, but she also looked nervous. Something in Olivia wanted to go grab Karen, give her hug, and protect her from all of this. She had never felt maternal before, probably because she never had a good role model in that department, but Fitz's kids brought out that side in her.

For Mellie, the day flew by. For everyone else, it drug on. Fitz tried to sneak in a phone call to Olivia, but she didn't pick up. She couldn't get over the knot in her stomach, and she didn't want Fitz to worry about her, along with everything else.

As night fell, the First Family was back at the White House to watch the returns come in from the residence. A private party in the residence was filled with a few family members and friends, but mostly donors to Mellie's campaign.

Abby had been busy at the White House all day, so she invited Liv to dinner in her office, not wanting her friend to be alone. Olivia considered her options. Being in the White House probably wasn't the best idea, but she had been going stir crazy sitting in her apartment being glued to the news channels all day. Plus, part of her was hoping to have a run in with the president.

Walking into Abby's office with a bag full of gettysburger for dinner, she was greeted with the biggest smile and warmest hug. Abby looked at her friend brightly, "It's not official, none of the news stations are reporting it yet. But, she's going to win."

In that moment, a light returned to Olivia's eyes that Abby hadn't seen it in years. "She's going to win?" Olivia asked in disbelief.

The red-head nodded. "She's going to win." Abby realized she maybe should have let Fitz give her the news, but she couldn't help herself.

Olivia sunk down into the chair. A weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself; she was shaking. "This is just..."Olivia trailed off. She had no words.

Up in the residence, a loud applause erupted as the news stations finally decided to call the election. Mellie Grant was the newest Junior Senator from Virginia. She could hardly contain her excitement, and reached out to grab Fitz's hand. Though he had just been standing next to her, he was no nowhere to be found.

Mellie went from elation to sheer anger in less than a second. As much as Fitz had told her they would get her elected, and then he would be gone, she didn't expect this to happen. She thought she had more time to come up with a plan. Now, minutes after she had been announced as Senator, he was gone. Unbelievable, she thought to herself. But Mellie Grant was not about to give up.

As soon as the announcement came down, Fitz was rushing down the back stairs. Abby had let him know that Liv was on his way over, and he couldn't get to her fast enough. He was skipping steps, going as fast as his feet would carry him.

The door to Abbys office flew open, and there was Fitz, out of breath with sweat on his brow, smiling from ear to ear. Frantically, he raced over to Olivia, picked her up and swung her around. Suddenly, he put her down. His demeanor changed and his eyes went from excitement to admiration. He left his right hand on her waist, and brought his left hand up to her face. "Thanks for waiting," he said with a mischievous grin on his face.

He lowered his face to hers, and Abby suddenly felt like the third wheel. She cleared her throat to alert everyone of her presence.

"Sorry Abby," Olivia blushed. She straightened her jacket, and her hair and pulled away from Fitz, while he wiped Olivia's lipstick off his lips. There would be a time and place for celebrating together, but Abby's office was not the ideal place.

Her friend smiled and nodded. "So, what's the plan now, is Mrs. Grant on the way down?" she asked. It had been decided that instead of a large party somewhere, Mellie would give her speech from the podium in the press room. Everyone hoped it would be an acceptance speech, as opposed to a concession speech, but the White House was prepared for either one. Abby, as press secretary, was asking when that speech was going to happen.

There was still so much to get through, but they had jumped a major hurdle tonight, and neither of them could hide their excitement. As a result, Fitz had left the residence without even thinking about what was coming next. He needed her to get elected, and he had. "I guess we can call up to the residence and see when she's headed down," Fitz said, picking up the phone.

Mellie, meanwhile, was spinning her wheels. She was convinced having Fitz leave her would not be good for her career, and she was ready to do anything to stop it. Her mind was racing, and she couldn't really come up with anything. Black mailing him wouldn't work anymore. She had just as much, if not more, to lose. Anything she would bring him down for, would bring her along down with him.

She decided it was time to throw a hail mary, and hoped it would work. She plastered on her fake smile, and shook hands and hugged everyone in the residence. Somehow, she seemed to be the only one who noticed the presidents absence.

A couple of drinks, and an impromptu thank you speech, and Senator Grant was ready to head down to the press room. She made her way through the back halls, while the reporters filed into the press room.

As she walked through the halls, she came across Abby, Fitz, and Olivia. "You have to be kidding me, what is SHE doing here?" Mellie asked in a shrill voice.

Fitz instinctively shuffled Olivia behind him. "Mel, you got what you wanted. We had a deal. I will go out there, and support you at the podium tonight, but that's the end. We stop there." he reminded her. They had discussed this so many times, but Mellie still had a look of horror and shock on her face.

Olivia didn't say anything, but she was sure Mellie wasn't going to go along with the plan quietly. She looked like she was up to something, and it made Olivia very nervous. But, she wanted to beelieve so badly this was about to be over.

Composing herself, Mellie plastered the fake smile back on her face. "Let's just go out there together, Fitzgerald." Her friendly voice was in pure contradiction to her body language, but Fitz, too wanted to believe this was the last time he had to go out and pretend to be a couple.

"Ok. Lets do this," he agreed. He looked behind him and winked at Olivia. Mellie walked out behind the podium, as Fitz followed. Flashes from camera swere going off everywhere, and the press stood and clapped for the new Senator.

"Thank you, oh, thank you, Ya'll are too kind," Mellie told them pulling out her southern accent, motioning for them to sit down.

"I am so excited to accept my new position as Senator of the Great State of Virginia," Mellie began. Fitz stood behind her smiling. You would never know that these two had just been arguing in the hallway. They had a lot of practice over the years posing as a real, believable, dedicated couple. Olivia watched from the doorway, out of sight of the reporters. As excited as she was that this was finally happening, there was a pit in her stomach, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"You have all been so supportive, and so wonderful. Fitz and I just want to thank you, and tell you how honored we are to be able to serve together in Washington," she said looking back at her husband. Fitz smiled at his wife, but raised his eyebrow. She was about to do something, and he knew it.

Mellie looked back at the reporters and continued. "And we have some other very exciting news to share with ya'll tonight." After a short pause, Mellie decided spur of the moment to do something drastic. It wasn't really a plan, but it had worked before.

She dropped the bomb. "We're expecting again!"


	21. Chapter 21

Olivia, still standing in the shadows, just out of the view of the cameras, but in direct line of sight to the podium and able to hear Mellie's revelation clearly and completely, felt sick to her stomach. As soon as Mellie had made her announcment, Fitz's eyes met Olivia's. Immediately, she turned away, but he was able to see the horrified and shocked look on her face first, and it broke his heart.

She couldn't stay there and listen to this. She ran from the hall to the nearest bathroom, where she couldn't stop her dinner from coming back up. As she sat there, leaning over the toilet, she couldn't believe what was happening. Tears streaming down her face, she couldn't catch her breath. They were so close, and now this. It wasn't fair. She deserved to be happy, after all the terrible things that had happened, she only wanted to be with Fitz.

Her mind raced through thought after thought. Surely, there was no way Mellie was actually pregnant. She'd pulled this stunt multiple times before. Still, Olivia couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. Mellie was the mother of Fitz's children and as much as she wished that wasn't the case, there was nothing she could do to change that.

More than all of that, though, Olivia didn't know what to do next. Mellie was winning yet again. No matter what Fitz did now, he would come out looking like the bad guy. Surely he was up at the podium right now smiling and nodding, going along with what Mellie wanted, because that's what he did. He always seemed to play right into her hands. He was the president of the United States, but he could still be manipulated by such an evil vile woman.

As the flashes went off from every camera in the press room, Mellie put one hand on her stomach, and reached back for Fitz with the other. She was confident she had the upper hand now. He would have no choice right now, but to put his hand in hers, and go along with what she had just told the media. Beyond this, she wasn't sure exactly how it would all play out though.

Running scenarios through her head wasn't necessary right now. She would have plenty of time to actually plan her next step, this was just a spur of the moment, last ditch effort to try and stop what was coming. And she was pretty sure it would work. Fitz was backed into a corner, she had won, at least for now.

But, her hand reaching for Fitz remained empty. He wasn't smiling, and he wasn't reaching out for her. He stood there, his head bowed, looking at ground, seemingly unaware that the press wanted a comment, and pictures of the First Couple. A panic look crossed her face, and she turned back toward the press. "Forgive my wonderful husband, this is the first he's hearing of the good news," she said hoping the press would believe her. "You know how new dad's get, it doesn't seem to matter if it's the first time or the fourth," she smiled nervously back at the press.

Fitz was in his head. Mellie had pulled some awful stunts in her day, but this one really took the cake. He should have seen this one coming. How could he have let this happen, he silently scolded himself. There was no time to think about that, though. He needed to focus on what to do next. Scenario after scenario ran through his head at warp speed, while the world around him seemed to be going in slow motion.

He could go up to the podium and tell everyone the baby is not his, but if Mellie came out looking like a cheater, she would throw Olivia under the bus immediately. He could smile and go along with it. Maybe he could tell everyone it was a false positive later. But then how hypocritical would he look when he filed for divorce right after they had announced they were expecting. He could just walk out of the room, without saying anything. But, the speculation that would cause wouldn't be good either. There was no good solution, and Mellie knew it. That's why she did it. He was so angry, he was fuming.

Abby seemed to be the only one with her wits about her. Having seen the presidents face, she knew she had to get Mellie off the podium immediately. She walked up, gently nudging Mellie out of the way. "Thank you, guys, that's all the time we have for tonight," She announced, trying to usher the Grant's out of the room.

But Fitz still wasn't registering anything anyone was saying. He had to get out of this. The look on Olivia's face was like something he had never seen before. The pain she felt in that moment was written all over her. No matter the cost, Fitz could not let Mellie do this again.

He did have one other option, he could tell the truth.

As Mellie and Abby went to step down from the raised platform, Fitz stepped up to the podium. The two woman hadn't even seen him do it. They were shocked when they heard his voice.

"I'm sorry, everyone. I don't even know what to say." Fitz paused for a moment, clearly trying to compose himself. He took a drink of water and tried to focus on what to say next. Wanting to take the high road, he tried tot think of away to avoid throwing Mellie to the wolves. Above all, though, he couldn't let this farce go on any longer.

"I have been lying to you, to the American Public, and to myself for far too long," he said shaking his head. He was ashamed he had let it come to this, whatever was coming, he needed to finally stand up and take it like a man.

His words stopped Mellie and Abby dead in their tracks. The press room was silent, and everyone was hanging on Fitz's every word. He looked around, hoping Olivia would be there to see this, but she was nowhere to be found.

"Mellie isn't expecting," he clarified. There were a few small gasps from the reporters, but the room remained mostly quiet, waiting for what came next. Now watching from the hall, Mellie's eyes were furious. She did not see this coming, in her mind there was no way he refuted her fake pregnancy, not now at least.

He went along with her when she declared she had a miscarriage, they ended up with Teddy the last time she claimed they were expecting. It had worked before, and she was now standing there is disbelief that it hadn't worked this time. She had miscalculated Fitz at a crucial time. This wasn't the same man she married. He was no longer worried about optics, public opinion, and reporters. He was only worried about one thing: Olivia Pope. It made her rabid with hatred.

Luckily, she was now out of the view of the press, and she intended to stay that way. Refusing to stay for the humiliation, she quickly made her way to the residence. There she could plan her next move in private. Mellie couldn't help but think this was supposed to be her night, but once again, it had become all about Olivia Pope.

Fitz took a deep breath and began to elaborate. "Mellie and I, we're not the First Couple you all think we are. We never have been. Our marriage, since the inception of my political career, has always been one of convenience. It isn't Mellie's fault, if we're placing blame, I'll take it. I used her to get ahead. But, it was an arrangement that worked for both of us."

The press was hanging on his every word. Curiously, he didn't feel nervous or upset, he felt relieved. He wanted to be honest so many times before, and finally he could. There was nobody there to stop him.

"That is, until I met someone else." His voice was calm and steady, but the room erupted in a furry. Reporters were now yelling questions, and the room held a chaotic tone. Everyone had come to see Mellie give her acceptance speech, and now they were getting a story none of them could have predicted.

Motioning his hands for the room to calm down, Fitz continued, and everyone quieted to listen to the president intently. "I am in love with a woman who is not my wife. I accept full responsibility for that." Swallowing hard, Fitz dropped a bomb of his own. "The First Lady and I have already had divorce papers drawn up, and we are hoping that you will respect the privacy of our family during this time."

More flashes from cameras and yelling from reporters, but Fitz ignored it all and spoke his closing statements loudly, above all the other voices. "It's not going to effect my ability to lead this country. Americans are forgiving understanding people, and I hope they can all look at this situation and realize that I am not perfect, but I am trying to do the right thing for everyone involved. Thank you."

Without taking a single question, Fitz strutted off the stage, and past Abby and Cyrus. "They're all yours," he winked. Cyrus and Abby stared at each other, as if daring the other one to go out to the podium. They had no idea this was coming, and had no plan of action. Neither one of them moved. It was like a game of chicken.

Fitz looked up and down the hallway, but found no sign of Olivia. "Where'd Liv go?" he asked Abby.

"I think she went off to the bathroom, sir," Abby answered, breaking eye contact with Cyrus. She sighed, as if she had lost the battle, and went out to address the reporters. She said nothing of much content, as she had no idea where any of this was headed. The last thing she wanted to do was give out Olivia's name. Instead she left the press with 'no comment' after 'no comment'.

Fitz ran down the hallway, and found John standing by the bathroom door, alerting him to Olivia's whereabouts. He nodded at John and knocked on the door to the bathroom. "Liv?' he asked concerned. If anyone were to see them, it would become obvious she was the woman he was in love with, but he didn't care.

He knocked again, but got no answer, so he cracked the door. He could hear her sniffles. She was very obviously upset. "I'm coming in, Liv," he announced before opening the door. His heart ached when he saw her, kneeling on the floor with the toilet lid up. He could tell she had gotten sick. The fact that this situation had made her physically ill was beyond upsetting to him.

Come on, he said, pulling her up to her feet. Olivia still didn't say anything. She had no idea what had happened since she left the hallway, and Fitz didn't want to upset her or stress her out anymore, but at the same time he didn't want her to be ambushed with the information. Fitz walked over to the sink and wet a towel. He proceeded to dab the cool towel on her forehead. It felt nice against her clammy, sweaty brow.

"Liv, I'm really sorry about Mellie. That was not supposed to happen. I should have seen it coming. I shouldn't have given her that opportunity," he apologized.

Olivia looked away. "It's ok, Fitz," she told him half-heartidly. Sadly, Mellie's antics were something Olivia had become very accustomed to over the years.

"It is now," he smiled mischievously at her.

She could tell right away he had done something. "Fitz?" she questioned.

Though he was nervous she might not have been thrilled with all he disclosed to the press, Fitz was excited to tell her about the events that had transpired since she had bolted from the hallway. But, he also wanted to get them out of there before they became sitting ducks.

"Come with me," he said grabbing her hand. He peeked outside the door, and the hallway remained empty except for a few Secret Service Agents. He needed to get Olivia out of the West Wing, but he was pretty sure that Mellie was up in the residence, and he didn't want to risk a run in right now. He would deal with her later.

Luckily, Blair House was empty tonight, and he figured they could use the tunnels to get there without being detected. He whispered to one of the agents to let them know his plans, and the two headed off hand in hand, managing to escape the White House before anyone came looking for them.

Fitz made it clear to his agents that they should be as inconspicuous as possible. He didn't want anyone to know he was there. He just wanted some time with Olivia to explain, and he didn't want anyone to be alerted that he was at Blair House.

When they arrived, Olivia plopped herself down on the couch, exhausted from the events of the day. She slipped off her shoes, pulled her feet up close to her, and grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch. It brought her back to the night Fitz gave her the infinity ring. She absentmindedly began to rub her finger back and forth across the ring and closed her eyes. The room was spinning.

Sitting down next to her, Fitz handed her two aspirin and a glass of water. He brushed her hair behind her ears and sighed, while Olivia refused to make eye contact. "Liv, we need to talk," he said, his eyes begging for her to look at him.

"I saw the whole thing, Fitz. Mellie up there, holding her stomach. It's not true, is it?" she asked quietly, but obviously panicking.

It felt like Fitz had been punched in the stomach. He wanted to be angry at her for even asking the question, but he was more angry at himself for ever giving her a reason to ask that. "Of course it's not true," he sighed, putting his forehead to hers. She looked weak and delicate, a far cry from the old Olivia who never let her feelings show.

"And you didn't see the whole thing," he added, fully aware that she had left well before he took the podium.

Olivia's head shot up and her eyes looked into his. "What do you mean?" she questioned.

Fitz knew he should be careful with how he proceeded. "I couldn't let her do that," he reasoned. Her eyes narrowed, looking at him suspiciously, and he took her hands in his. "I told the press she wasn't pregnant, I told them we were getting a divorce." Her eyebrows raised, but she still said nothing. "And I told them there was someone else."

She dropped his hands, and immediately got off the couch and started pacing. "That is not what we decided on Fitz! We had a plan! You were supposed to file for divorce, wait an appropriate amount of time, and go on a few high profile dates before we became a couple!" she lectured him. In shock, Olivia was shaking. Her voice was angry, and Fitz could tell she was furious.

In normal circumstances, when they did this song and dance, Fitz would apologize, and he'd backtrack with Mellie and in the media. But, that was no more. He was proud of himself, and he was relived. He was never a big fan of Olivia's plan in the first place. It just included more waiting. Fitz was more than ready to come forward and be honest so they could stop the waiting and finally move on.

"I was not going to stand up there and pretend anymore, Olivia. She forced my hand, and I reacted. I know you're scared, but I am not going to apologize for what I did," he argued back, his tone harsher than he intended.

Olivia wasn't really listening, and he could tell. She just continued her pacing back and forth in front of thee fireplace, ideas running through her head on how to spin this. Fitz softened his tone, and his facial expressions followed suit. "You can't fix this, Liv. I don't want you to fix it. This is whats next, we just need to deal with the consequences together, as a team."

He got up and crossed the room. She was hesitant, but allowed him to wrap his arms around her. "This is what's next," he smiled and told her again. She nodded in agreement, and placed a soft kiss on his lips. Her body relaxed, and a sense of relief washed over Fitz.

_Hey y'all thanks so much for reading and all the reviews positive and negative. I'm sorry if you feel that last chapter was predictable or if the story is dragging. I am of the mind that even if Olivia and Fitz finally decided to be together, there's still plenty of story left! I hope I'm doing that story justice. Thanks again! Xoxo_


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